Memories and Contemplations

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh had so far found his talk with [member="Lady Kay"] most interesting and enlightening. He found that there were some similarities between their experiences. However he also realized that she had given him some hope into the galaxy. There were things to be learned from this one, how to see the new galaxy and how to look into the future.

She spoke of new work from her adopted brother. It was good to know that she had overcome the difficulties of being forced to leave the Republic. It was most unfortunate that she had been sent out. He hoped that she would continue to find success. "I am glad that you have done well. If ever you are in need of my services, you may call upon me, whether it be training, protection, or aid."

He spoke as truthfully as he could, while still wishing to continuing their conversation.

(Sorry for being so late.)

 

[Kay-Larr]

(No worries )

She smiled a little at his words and bowed her head. "Thank you [member="Rafeesh"] . And I offer you the same. Mind if we go for a walk and talk more?"

Mantic was a sly one and she was ever so glad to be on his good side. Moreover she was glad that she had saved his life from [member="Darth Ferus"] . But how long would that last? Ferus was up to something, the downfall of the Republic no doubt, yet for now she had no insight into what those plans were. Almost instantly he had grown more dangerous. Perhaps it was because she had lost her position and also her use. He no longer had someone that he could try to gleam information from. Yet his parting words still echoed in her mind. The sounds of her droid screaming as she was crushed by the Darkside haunted her every now and again as well.

But Kay had other things to talk about. Rafeesh had survived for a very long time and she had wondered how. The Sith Lord that had killed her husband was also very old. It boggled her sometimes that she seemed to stumble upon the powerful all the time. It was as though they were drawn to her, curiously, but that curiosity tended to end in death for those that she cared for.

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh nodded and began to walk out of the main speaking room. So the Force had guided them together, Mantic being the final connection. He wondered what the Force had in store for them. But then his place was not to question it. He was to follow it and do as a Jedi should. More often than not it was a good thing that came from his travels. At least he guessed that this was a good thing, he was unsure about the time in stasis. There was little he could do to change that, but he could always think about it.

"Call it the Force, but have you met others from the past?" If not his soldiers then perhaps his friend in the Sith. He doubted that, but it was possible.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay walked along beside [member="Rafeesh"] . At least alone she could talk a little more openly. People walking by only gave them passing glances and nothing more.

She gripped the strap of her satchel, holding it for comfort. "Yes, I have. Though how many I'm not fully aware. Not everyone reveals such things about themselves. I know that the Sith Lord that killed my husband was very old. And Ferus is as well. Though how old they are, I cannot guess."

She looked over at him as they walked. "How is it that you have survived for so long?"

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh was interested in who else she had met. Perhaps she had met Shanna without realizing it. Though it would have left some impression, Rafeesh assumed more than likely incorrectly, a female Togrutan Sith was not common. Aliens tended to be difficult enough to find, at least from the time period Rafeesh was from. He guessed that alien Sith were more prevalent in these times where Sith were so split.

"Suspended animation, specifically a cryogenic chamber. I volunteered for the experiments back in the old Sith Empire. My Sith master was preparing for something and decided to put me in longer term. I guess that something happened and my chamber was lost or something and from there I don't know. When I was rescued I was aboard a strange ship from later on galactic history I am certain. I believe it had been about 4000 plus years. Quite a shock to the system when I found that out." He smiled a little at that. It was amusing, except for having to have vaccinations every day for about a week just for his immune system to become prepared for the diseases he would encounter.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay blinked in surprise. Four thousand years was indeed a large amount of time. She just couldn't fathom all of the changes in the Galaxy that [member="Rafeesh"] would have had to come to terms with. Not to mention the fact that most likely everyone he knew was now gone.

"You are taking it rather well. For most it would lead them into a state of despair. Perhaps it was your training? And you were a Sith, but clearly not one now. What caused you to change? My late husband was Dark and a Sith Lord tried to make him even Darker, but failed. I saw the good in him and helped it to flourish. Yet he lost his life because of it...Sometimes I wonder if I had made the right choice. But that's just survivor's guilt...."

The Galaxy would have been worse off if her husband had lost all the Light. He was a great warrior and towards his end, he was beginning to scare her.

 

[Rafeesh]

She was closer to the truth than Rafeesh would have anticipated. He recalled the long nights after learning exactly how long he had been asleep. The very first few nights had actually been relatively blurry, apparently his body had required a lot of rest, as if it had not gotten enough after the millennia spent in a stasis chamber. But after his body had re-accustomed itself to the galaxy, his mind became a problem.

[member="Lady Kay"]'s talk of survivor's guilt concerned him, she must have it harder than he did. He had never had someone as close as a partner to that degree before. He contemplated that. Yes that was one of the plethora of emotions he had felt and almost completely succumbed to. "Do not feel sad for his sake. It might sound a bit pious, but being in the Light makes death nothing more than freedom from pain. Your husband, if he remained in the Light to the end, is now in peace he no longer suffers. Don't feel guilty of his death. Life in darkness is worse than any death in the Light. Is it not like a slave? Dying for freedom is better than living in chains."

The Jedi stopped himself for a moment. It was perhaps too much in one go. He was trying to help and he hoped and prayed that he had. He continued, this time answering her question, "I almost snapped in those first few weeks. I channeled the despair, fear, anger, and any other emotion into fueling my power. I turned after I realized what I had become. During my time in a cell being transported from Naboo to the Jedi Temple, I started thinking about what I had done. Suddenly I found that my actions had not brought back my friends, or gotten me killed, and I believe that it was Mantic's calm that finally brought me relief. I saw him and decided that the calmness I felt from him was impossible to obtain anywhere else. The Light was the path to peace."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay nodded as she listened to [member="Rafeesh"] speak of death being a release. Maybe in the end that was what her husband had wanted; to be released from the Sith Lord's grasp and no longer have to fight against him. No doubt he felt like a piece of rope being tugged at both ends. She whispered, speaking mainly to herself, "....I just miss him so much...."

When he spoke of slavery and living in chains, she looked at him. She had spent a good amount of time freeing slaves, using various missions to break them out and then providing homes and paid work for them on other worlds. So she knew very well of how obtaining freedom was important.

When he spoke of his experience with Mantic, she nodded, knowing fully well the power of the Jedi Master's ability to instil calm in others. Yet she had seen him angry too, seen him attack Ferus when at the moment in that situation there was no threat. Mantic nearly died that day, and Ferus seemed quite disappointed that he didn't. Maybe that was part of the reason that Ferus had killed her droid. He didn't like it that she had helped to save Mantic's life.

"Not everyone can be changed..
." Kay scratched at an imaginary itch on her arm as she thought about it. No, Ferus would never change.

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh did not believe that statement, he wondered if [member="Lady Kay"] really thought that way or if she was just going through a moment of tough thoughts. Either way, he did not agree with that idea. It was always possible for people to change. It might not be probable, but it was always possible for someone to change. The darkest of Sith Lords could change at any moment, whether they would or would not was another problem. "Not everyone wants to be changed. That is the unfortunate truth. But always remember the fact that it is possible for someone to change, always possible. That is why we must try to find the Light in those that we meet."

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay closed her eyes for a moment while they walked, listening for any change in direction, though she figured that they would just keep going straight. He was right of course. Deep down she had always sought the Light and brought it out from others, helped it to grow. Yet there was only one in which she failed to find the Light in and that was her husband's killer. As for Ferus, she thought that she had found it in him, which was why she felt that he was always nice to her and had taught her how to hide. But recent events proved that she had failed with regards to him too.

"I usually live with that philosophy, but it has also caused harm and death to those around me. I am too trusting and Master Dorn thinks that I could be influenced by the Darkside because of my unsanctioned and reckless behaviour."

[member="Rafeesh"]

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh was torn at that. His loyalty to the old ways of the Jedi told him that one such as [member="Lady Kay"] needed proper training, so as to better identify and resist the darkness. However from the same side he knew that Kay was not naive, she could handle herself. She had proven this by not falling into the Dark Side thus far. He did not sense the darkness within her. He trusted Mantic, and he assumed that his old master had a reason for his own distrust. Rafeesh was not particularly comfortable with the idea of Kay continuing such ventures. For the Knight, he did not want to see the risk of one falling to the dark side. This woman ran the knife's edge and he just hoped that she would not fall into the darkness that many had because of it.

"I do not feel any darkness inherent within you. I believe that you are not one of those that will fall of your own volition. I am sure that you will do what you believe is best, all I can say is don't compromise your morals. Once you break those, nothing is beneath you." He spoke from personal experience, when he had become a Sith he had done many evil things. As a Jedi now he hated those actions, but they could not be undone. He did not want to see one such as Kay go through that.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay breathed a sigh of relief as [member="Rafeesh"] spoke of believing that she had no Darkness within her. It was a confirmation of what she felt. Though there were times when she was afraid to act, and times where her decisions were the wrong ones. But she always tried to do her best and help others, as opposed to causing them harm.

"I don't want to fall and I don't plan on doing so. I'm not greedy for power, I don't long for it. I have hidden my gifts for the past ten years. But I now go to Mantic's school to learn from the right people. I plan on making my own lightsaber for the first time too, to replace the one I lost that my husband had given me."

Of course she didn't know how to build one. She'll cross that bridge when she gets to it. First thing was first. She needed to seek out a crystal.

 

[Rafeesh]

She had the will for this work, Rafeesh decided. A weaker person might have given in by now. The Knight believed that she would be capable of handling the darkness she encountered. But he wondered for how long, being within evil's influence would eventually transfer some of its darkness into others. He hoped that she would never be captured by a Sith who was intent on turning her. He supposed that she would be strong and could fight off any attempt, but not forever.

"I hope that you do well. Mantic is a good teacher, he will try as best he can to teach you in the ways of the Old Jedi. It may not be perfect for what you plan to do in the future, its more focused on one who keeps themselves away from the Dark Side entirely. I guess you already figured this, but learn what you can and use it where you can."

He was trying to give advice to [member="Lady Kay"], but she was just different from what he was used to and thus he was having some difficulty at it.

 

[Kay-Larr]

"Oh well I'm not just learning from him, I am also learning from others in the school. So far all that I have had from Master Dorn are his lectures. He said that I inspired his last one..." That caused her to frown a little. "But I want to be able to defend myself better. I have started to learn how to block from illusions and attacks on the mind. Also shielding. I also know how to....hide my Force signature." She didn't learn that from anyone there though. That was Ferus. Yet still it brought back memories of the look of shock and anger on Mantic's face when he found out that she was Force sensitive and breaking the law. He was growing into the closest thing to a father-figure that she had ever known, and she hated to disappoint him. "What sort of defensive techniques do you know?"

[member="Rafeesh"]

 

[Rafeesh]

She had inspired the latest lecture. Most interesting. It did not really reveal much to Rafeesh, but did fill in some gaps of the reason for the lecture. It also made a slightly different perspective for the words. He too had come to see Mantic as a father figure, but because before Dorn his role-models had almost entirely been Sith. Thus he had tried to pick upon a person which he could hold up as an example of what it meant to be a Jedi. There were times when Rafeesh's faith had been shaken, when Mantic had first left the Order and then when he had been offered to join the Republic after the breaking away from the Jedi. It had been a difficult decision, to stay with the 'Jedi Order' or to join the Republic. He had decided on the latter, as part of the role of the Jedi was to defend democracy and the Republic.

[member="Lady Kay"] asked what his capabilities were on the defensive side, Rafeesh felt somewhat embarrassed. He was relatively strong in the Force, but had focused his efforts on fighting Sith and defending the Republic. His knowledge was either second hand from his time as a Sith, or first hand from the battlefield. Very little had been learned in the field of actual study. His abilities were raw and unrefined, not exactly what would normally be taught to students and thus he was apprehensive about sharing what he knew. "Not that much really. I have not been able to spend time learning much because of the constant need for Jedi on the forefront of battle. The Force allows me to see where to defend ahead of time, not by much but on the battlefield every second makes the difference. What do you know in that area?"

 

[Kay-Larr]

"I know a little. Enough to block some lightsaber moves. My late husband taught me a little, though he didn't want me near the battlefield. He would be sure that I was away from the fighting and put me on healing duties. He thought that it would keep me out of trouble that way. But....trouble has an odd way of finding me..."

Another imaginary itch, this time on the back of her neck. Most came to her aid these days, or she had hired bodyguards to help her. So the need to fight was down to a minimum. But still, she wanted to be capable of holding her own.

"Do you like tea, [member="Rafeesh"] ?"

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh nodded at that, it had been some time since he had taken the time to enjoy the simple pleasure of tea. Before going into stasis the galaxy had been at war, it had not changed much in that regard when he awoke. Such pleasures had been left behind during the battles and constant moving. Now though, he might be able to take time aside to focus his thoughts on resting. Maybe just a little. There was a still war, but it was not fought as hard as the one he had left behind. "Yes, I don't know what is used anymore, but I think anything would do."

A momentary thought crossed his mind, he would have to find a hobby. War would never be a good past time, perhaps he would take up writing. He was unsure what he would do for that. Maybe start a garden? That was something to think about.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay dug into her satchel and produced her tea pouch. She handed it to him while they walked. "I use Sapir tea leaves. There's a market on Bakura that I found which sells the best. I always carry a supply, as well as everything that I'd need to survive for at least a few days, all within my satchel. It's why I carry it with me all the time. One never knows what could happen. Shall we brew some?"

There had been a few Sith Lords that have shared tea with her instead of fighting. Those tended to be the best encounters, although sometimes it led to others having to fight them for her. People were lucky that she wasn't evil. Her teas would have been a great way to poison and murder someone in cold blood. But such an idea would never cross her mind. She valued life too much.

[member="Rafeesh"]

 

[Rafeesh]

"Please." He said with a nod of the head. It would be nice to taste tea again, even if it would be only for a short time. "I would guess you have traveled a lot between the various jobs you have done in the past. What sort of places have you seen?" Had she ever been to places filled with the Dark Side or the Light? It was a thing that would give him an idea of what [member="Lady Kay"] had been through.

He was thinking, perhaps clay modeling? It was not as easy as he would have expected, but he knew it was important. What was he to do during those times where he was not fighting? It was a question that stood monumental before him. Maybe he should get into cooking. That might be fun. But that was for later.

 

[Kay-Larr]

They were near a park, so that was why she offered the suggestion. Kay led him over to the picnic area and set up a fire with what was available. It took some time, but moments later she had the kettle on and waited for it to be ready.

"Well, I've spent a lot of time in Hutt space, so as you can imagine, a lot of them are desert worlds. Not quite to my liking. Bakura is in neutral space, though the Sith are closing in on it. It's full of valleys, forests and mountains. Then there's Mustafar, Naboo, Commenor. So many to name. Have you done a lot of travelling?"

[member="Rafeesh"]