Memories and Contemplations

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh could have acted as if he had guessed as much, but he had not. While it did not surprise him that the Sith had other motives than simply helping, he had hoped that she had come across some of those better Sith. From what she had said it sounded as if she had, from Rafeesh's experience there were few Sith that had the moral compass that even an everyday person might have. Those were the Sith that decided to join the Jedi, at least occasionally. Mantic might have been right about the misplaced trust, but Rafeesh still did not agree that it was an immediate danger.

He hoped that he would be able to assist [member="Lady Kay"] in the future, she seemed to be the sort of person that made a good friend. That was something he was lacking since his leaving the Sith. He also wanted to help someone who seemed a little lost in the galaxy. She did not have a clear idea of where she wanted to go, he did not want to leave her floundering. She may have strange friends, or enemies of himself, but that did not make her an enemy or someone not worth being friends with. Perhaps it was a bit selfish that he was looking for a friend when she needed help, but then again he wanted to help just as much if not more.

"I am very sorry to hear that. Since you are still here I assume that nothing too serious came of the betrayal?" That was an assumption in and of itself, she had merely said that some of the Sith had not been as honest about their intentions. Rafeesh had taken it a step further and assumed that it meant she had been betrayed, probably an oversight but he felt that it was a safe guess given the nature of Sith.

 

[Kay-Larr]

Having a friend was always a good thing. And the more she had, the better. They were a good deterrent for any bounty hunters or assassins wanting to come after her. Plus it was nice to have a bit of company now and then. She didn't need a shoulder to cry on often, but it was always good to have one there.

Kay thought of whether or not the Sith had betrayed her. Well it was a sort of betrayal. Whether or not the others would be the same way was anyone's guess. "I think that I am here only because he wants me to be. He said that I can't die yet, whatever that means. And I have a life debt with the one that destroyed my lightsaber and stole the crystal. I haven't collected on that yet, but hopefully I won't have to. As for a few others, I haven't run into them again yet..."

[member="Rafeesh"]

 

[Rafeesh]

That was a rather sinister choice of words. Perhaps it was intended to make [member="Lady Kay"] feel gratitude, or fear, towards the Sith. It was sometimes difficult to decipher the thought behind what a Sith did, even with his previous knowledge as a Sith. There were too many differences and individualities with every Sith that made them enigmas on many occasions. His experience was in a time when all Sith were hunting for personal power and served a supposedly all-powerful Emperor. Now it might be different, though Rafeesh doubted the Sith had changed that much. He wondered how many of the ancient artifacts had resurfaced.

"Those aren't the best experiences to have with Sith. I can't say if that is the norm for this time, however I am pretty certain that it was standard for Sith in the old days to act like that. I am still learning about these Sith, I didn't spend enough time with them after I awoke to get a good idea of what they were like. Aside from those few that threaten you, are most of the Sith you meet friendly?"

 

[Kay-Larr]

She nodded in response to his question. "Yes. They tend to just sit and chat with me, and drink tea. I haven't had to fight any yet, though it's bound to happen eventually. I'm sure that there's plenty that are violently evil, otherwise it wouldn't of been such a problem for me to have hired them. I've just been lucky enough to have not been of importance enough to be on their radar. Perhaps it's because I hide my Force signature so much."

The most evil of Sith that she had come across was Ferus and the one that killed her husband. She still felt sad for losing her beloved droid to Ferus, but she was not allowed to talk about it or at the very least say who had done it. One Senator had already died in warning. More could come.

[member="Rafeesh"]

 

[Rafeesh]

Thar sounded about right to Rafeesh. While not the rule it was never the exception, that Sith did not pay too much heed to those that they considered beneath themselves. It was a flaw that they saw only certain people as a danger, yet at the same time as being overly paranoid about those that were their equals. The Jedi were not entirely immune to the same failing, but it was less common for them, at least in Rafeesh's experience.

"Hiding your Force signature? I have never heard of that." An intriguing concept, and perhaps one that had been used for the Sith infiltrators. Such an ability was entirely unknown for him, but it was something that he would be interested in hearing about, if not learning. Perhaps it had been a scarcely taught ability for only the higher echelon of Sith and Jedi, he was unsure.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

"Yes....a certain...Sith Lord taught me the skill. But I don't use the Darkside to accomplish it. Where some people expand the Force to create shields to protect themselves, hiding one's Force signature is the opposite. It takes a lot of practice and focus to keep it small for any length of time. And it limits one's abilities to use any other Force technique while remaining hidden as that would just defeat the purpose. It's great for when you are on the run and don't want to be noticed."

She had taught one Knight so far on how to perform the skill. Maybe she'd teach more. "Would you like to learn how, [member="Rafeesh"] ? I could teach you, if you'd like."

 

[Rafeesh]

That was an effective analogy for Rafeesh. While he had no experience in creating shields with the Force he knew the basic principle and understood almost perfectly the concept. The idea of learning the technique intrigued him considerably, after all it was just one more thing that he had been unaware of during the old time that he would learn now. He smiled broadly at the offer, he was glad that she was willing to teach him. "I would like that very much. If you do not mind of course."

A rare opportunity it was to be taught a new skill. The last time he had even attempted to learn a technique within the Force had been trying to find a way of binding ghosts to himself, obviously while he had been a Sith. He had never found anything that could teach him so the endeavor had been wasted. Now though, this kind soul was willing to pass on a secret of the Force so quickly, Rafeesh was still getting used to the generosity of the Jedi in that regard. The Sith horded knowledge, trying to prove themselves the most powerful by doing so, while the Jedi shared it out as best they could to all.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay shook her head a bit. If course she didn't mind. She wouldn't of offered otherwise. She shifted in her seat a little so that she was a bit more comfortable. Now was as good a time as any. "I don't mind at all. First thing is to picture your own Force signature, as though it were a sphere surrounding you. Focus on that sphere, and as your focus intensifies, start to pull the Force within yourself, shrinking the sphere. Keep shrinking it slowly until it is the size of a small tree nut. All living things have a Force signature around them. You are just making yours less noticeable. The trick is in keeping it that way for a good length of time. It sounds easy, but it takes practice."

[member="Rafeesh"]

 

[Rafeesh]

While Rafeesh had no experience in the field of creating shields with the Force, he had seen it in action before. When she explained that it was akin to the opposite of making a shield Rafeesh felt that he understood the concept well enough. He thought for a moment before trying to put it into action. The Force was such a strange thing, so versatile and yet leading everything to a certain destiny. It had infinite ways of being used and yet only a few small simple utilities were remembered and taught throughout the ages. For the Sith lightening had always been something of a status symbol, if one could use the Force to create lightening then they were powerful.

As the field around him closed in, Rafeesh could sense his awareness slowly shrinking ever so slightly. Of course without previous practice the first attempt accomplished only a small reduction in his signature in the Force. It was enough that Rafeesh felt confident in his ability to practice it on his own time. He ended the endeavor and blinked a few times before asking [member="Lady Kay"], "Who taught you this again?"

 

[Kay-Larr]

Who had taught her this technique? She hesitated a little before answering [member="Rafeesh"] . "Ferus did...It was the only thing that he taught me. I didn't ask for the lesson, but he had offered and I found it quite useful. Especially when I have had to deal with people that aren't fond of Force users, or when around those enemies that are strong in the Force. It deems me as less of a target if they don't know much about me."

That was pretty much how her logic worked. Better to be hidden in plain sight than to be hunted. She wasn't all powerful in the Force anyways. At best she considered herself to be average. Her skills in lay mainly in defence, as opposed to offence. Kay had never killed before and she had hoped that she would never have to. But that would more than likely be a hard promise for her to keep to herself.

 

[Rafeesh]

That struck him as intelligent, she knew what the enemy would like be looking for and took steps to avoid appearing as a target. He did not believe he would have done much different if he had been in her situation. Of course, he was not in her situation but in his own. So what he thought he would do in someone else's shoes was a theory with very little grounding in reality.

He wondered if she had been uncertain about answering because the person who had taught her was a Sith. He might have said that there was no need to fear uncovering that she had learned from Sith, he had learned from Sith as well. Granted, because he was now a Jedi he didn't take use much of what he learned and he had turned away from the doctrines of the Sith so he was not questioned in the Jedi.

"That sounds smart enough. Have you met any of these Force users that find you to be a threat?"

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay laughed just a little as [member="Rafeesh"] asked her if she had come across others that found her to be a threat. But as far as she knew, no Force user was afraid of her. They had no reason to be.

"Can't say that I have. I don't think that anyone in the entire Galaxy sees me as a threat. An annoyance, maybe, but not a threat. No. I have only come across those that wish to use me and blackmail me. Once I am no longer useful, they usually forget about me. I am not an important figure, Rafeesh. I am not royalty, not a politician, nor do I own any businesses, mines or other such things. I have no powerful artifacts, nor could I tell you where any are. I have nothing of value to anyone, I carry no more bounties over my head, so I am not sought after. But that doesn't mean that I should drop my guard. Having no value means that the odds of someone ordering my assassination are all the higher."

 

[Rafeesh]

That struck Rafeesh as understandable, if not a little strange. It was a concept altogether rather foreign, being a target due to the lack of importance of a person, he was used to the wartime mentality of higher impact targets being priority. Of course he had not been privy to the darker parts of the Sith, so his experience in the area she was speaking of was deeper than he had known.

"Better to be safe rather than sorry. Have you always been on the run or did you use to be more settled?" Her lifestyle struck him as a strange decision. Not strange because of her situation, no that made it almost natural, but because of who she was. Such a calm and kind personality, to be constantly roving the galaxy seemed unnatural. She had friends and powerful ones at that, why had she not found a place to live in peace.

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay scratched an imaginary itch on the back of her neck. She had to think about it. Was she always on the run? It certainly felt like it, but that just wasn't the truth. "No. I haven't always been on the run. I used to have a home, but then my husband was killed. I haven't called any place home ever since. It's all my fault though. I get myself into trouble."

But she couldn't help it. She just couldn't stand by while there were slaves and people being oppressed around her. She'll die one of these days, perhaps sooner rather than later, but hopefully she'd of done some good for the Galaxy before that happens.

[member="Rafeesh"]

 

[Rafeesh]

Rafeesh found [member="Lady Kay"] to be very interesting. She had decided to turn whatever emotions she had experience after the death of her husband into the will to push on and help the galaxy. The Knight had known many Jedi, who lost friends, that had reacted worse than her. This was yet more proof that there was no immediate sign of her having fallen to the Dark Side. She was a role model in fact, one that many a new Jedi could learn from.

"It sounds like you want what is best for others before yourself. Have you ever questioned yourself on what you plan to do? Ever doubted that you were helping people?" It was not evil to doubt, as long as you were not persuaded by the doubt. It was a lesson some, like himself, had found difficult to learn. But it was integral to a Jedi's learning as they would often be made to doubt their decisions.

 

[Kay-Larr]

She had to think about that for a moment. Yes she thought of others before herself, but that was due in part because of her husband's death. If she wasn't so stubborn and disobedient, constantly searching for a way out from under the Sith's boot, then her husband might still be alive. So now she does whatever she can to try to prevent others from getting hurt because of her actions.

"I've been told many times that there's no use in freeing slaves, thst they'll only be replaced by other slaves. That is quite true, but that doesn't mean that those within it should be abandoned and forced to suffer. Most of my plans work, but not all of them. I learn from those mistakes and do my best to not repeat them. I can doubt myself like others do, [member="Rafeesh"] , that's only normal. But what I don't do is lose hope. No matter how dire things can get, there is always a way through it."

 

[Rafeesh]

That was yet more proof, as if there had not been enough already. She would have made and would still make a truly inspiring Jedi, if she ever decided to. Rafeesh replied, "That sounds very wise. I hope that you will continue to have that mentality." Had she always been like this? Rafeesh wondered if it was the death of her husband or perhaps just a part of her nature. It did not truly matter which it was, because in the end the history did not make the person, it was the decisions.

He knew that as a teacher, he would share at least part of [member="Lady Kay"]'s story, without giving names or details that would point towards her. She was far too good an example of what a Jedi should be, rough edges included.While he might not have agreed with parts of her decisions, she was a good person at the end and that was more important than simply the company one kept. Rafeesh recalled learning recently of a sect of the Jedi who had followed the ideals of the Jedi while having allies of questionable reputation.

"You are truly an inspiration, thank you for sharing with me."

 

[Kay-Larr]

"An inspiration? You flatter me [member="Rafeesh"] , but I don't believe that I am a good example for anyone to follow. I have withheld secrets in order to serve in a positioned that was banned for people like me. In the end, when I had asked for help and revealled what I was, well, I was seen as little more than the enemy. I was nearly locked up, nearly executed for it. Yet the coupe kept me out of a trial and I was released. And still...instead of embracing what I am completely, I still hide it. Out if fear. Fear of what my enemies would do, and what my allies would do. I live my life alone for fear of what would happen to anyone that I let close. That is hardly anything to be inspired from..."

The anger and hate from Mantic and others when they learned of her abilities still haunted her, still hung fresh in her mind. It was impossible to tell who would have the same reaction and who wouldn't. The Supreme Chancellor had it, and he fired her straight away. Others could do far worse.

 

[Rafeesh]

As any good analogy had its flaws so did most great examples. No one person was perfect, that was why there was a need for examples, but even they were not perfect in all areas. Some people had certain character traits that were great examples for that specific trait, but in other things they were not a person worth following. That was where one needed to use insight and understanding to help first decide who could be used as a good example for what they were trying to teach, and then tailor how they explain the person and the intended lesson one had in mind. It was a difficult task to be certain and one that Rafeesh hoped he would master before having to teach students.

"A good example does not need to be perfect. If that were true then there would be no good examples left in the galaxy, one has to find the examples that best exhibit those desired traits in certain fields. You are an amazing example and more Jedi should have your mentality. I believe you would make a better Jedi than I."

[member="Lady Kay"]

 

[Kay-Larr]

Kay looked down at her hands and remained quiet for a moment as she thought of what [member="Rafeesh"] had said. In a way she felt flattered and humbled, yet at the same time, it brought her worry. If she was one of the better examples of a Jedi, then it was no wonder that the Sith were winning in the eternal struggle of balance.

"Rafeesh, you are a better Jedi than I. You have wisdom beyond your years, you understand the Darkside enough to recognize it's subtleties and still remain in the Light. You are more open to the teachings and Jedi way of life than my stubborness will allow. I believe that Master Dorn meant for you to help reign me in, rather than the other way around."