Private No Direction Home

[Leda Elariel]

Leda had heard him call up after her, but she did not stop. At the top of the stairs, she turned into her room and closed the door gently behind her. For a moment, she stood with her back against it and let out the longest breath. Had she just made an utter fool of herself in front of the Baron?

Head hanging low, she stepped into the room and lit the candle on her bed-side table.

Her fingers worked to unlace the bodice, and she slipped the layer off and tossed it to the side. The outer skirt was next, and she set the heavy fabric across the foot of her bed. Walking slowly to her mirror, she let her red locks free, and the waves tumbled down past her shoulders. Standing there in her light cotton chemise, she turned the blankets down and moved to climb into the large four-poster bed.

But then, there was a knock at the door—and Barrien's voice on the other side.

She sat for a moment, unsure if she should face him again tonight. However, she stood and walked lightly across the wooden floor and pulled the heavy door open. And before she could speak, she found his hand gently tilting her chin up—and his lips against hers. Though she was surprised, her eyes fluttered closed and she let her arms wind around his neck.

When she finally pulled away slightly, she could only stand and look at him. There were simply no words.

Barrien Siegfried

 

[Barrien Siegfried]

She did answer the door. For a moment he hadn't been sure she was going to. It wasn't as if he hadn't hurt her by questioning her intent and making her embarassed. It kind of embarassed him that he had been so blind to what she was looking for.

But she did answer the door, his fingers found her chin, and he kissed her deeply. Her arms found their way around his neck, and only when they needed air did they part. He found the taste of her lips to be tantalizing, almost like the sting of a training saber but in a way that send tendrils of pleasure cascading through the body. He'd never felt that before. Even though he had kissed other women, none of them had produced such a strong emotional response within him.

Without asking, he stepped into her room and shut the door behind him. She hadn't pushed him aaay, so he took it as a sign she might be alright with more. Of course, if she stopped him he would acquiesce, and this was certainly to make for an interesting discussion in the morning. He could only hope that she wouldn't be upset with what he had to say.

For now, he scooped her off her feet and cradled her against him before kissing her again. Then he took her to the bed, and tbe night became one worth remembering for a very long time. He wouldn't leave her after, either. No, he would cuddle with her until the two of them fell asleep in each others arms. It had been a very long time since he felt so wanted, and he enjoyed the feeling of it, though a small part of him still worried what such an endeavour could bring.

He hoped she could accept the risks to gain the rewards, and it was the first time ever he had wanted that.

Leda Elariel

 

[Leda Elariel]

Leda woke to the soft light of Midvinter's morning.

Opening her eyes, she blinked at the light that streamed gently through the curtains. Then, her head turned to find the Baron sleeping next to her, his expression tranquil in slumber. And the memories of the night previous began to return.

Even now, without the warmth of mead, she felt the pull towards him. During the night, she'd taken shelter in his arms, taken solace in his steady presence. It was a sense of closeness that dulled the pain, a balm for her wounds. But in the light of day, she grew frightened.

It wasn't Barrien himself. No, he was tender and gentle, but rather the idea of getting close to someone again. Someone so new in her life at that. Love would inevitably mean loss. And she didn't know if she could bear the pain. Gently, she peeled the sheet back, slipped a dressing gown over her pale form and left the Baron to sleep a little longer.

Padding down the stairs, she expected to find the dishes and remains of last night's dinner. But she was ever surprised to find the kitchen had been cleaned. Walking to the counter, she found the dishes spotless and stacked. Even the left-overs had been dealt with. Her emerald eyes flickered towards the stairs. The storm inside Leda's mind only grew.

For now, she decided to set a pot of tea on and begin preparing breakfast.

By the time he opened his eyes, she hoped to have some bacon sizzling away and a couple eggs cracked into a hot pan.

Barrien Siegfried

 

[Barrien Siegfried]

When he woke he found her gone. It wasn't the type of gone that one might come across from a one night stand, especially since they were in her home, but the type where she had slipped away to do something while he slept. He could feel her downstairs, after all. Rolling over onto his back, he slooked out the window towards the rising sun and then climbed out of bed to do some stretching. It wasnalways a good idea to limber up the muscles after sleeping. They tended to need it.

He dressed in his pants and decided that was enough for the moment, even though he had to go past his room to reach where she was. It felt comfortable to dress in such a way from time to time and it was only the two of them there. So he slipped down the stairs to the smells of cooking bacon and eggs, which sounded like a wonderful start to the day.

"Good morning," he said as he walked into the kitchen. "How did you sleep?"

Sometimes one could find restlessness after such an encounter. Though he had been able tk fall asleep, it had taken him a while because he was worried about how she would react when he explained things. It was better to love and lose than to never love at all, but some people found that hard to deal with, just as he worried she would find it hard to accept that he lived a dangerous life and might not come back to her someday. Or he might have to make a hard choice which meant he lost her.

"Breakfast smells good."

He could sense conflict within her, so he decided to wait before saying anything. Better to let her work things out first.

Leda Elariel

 

[Leda Elariel]

Leda turned as Barrien came down the stairs, and she regarded him with a closed-lip smile. “I slept well,” she said with a brief nod. And the corners of her mouth tugged upwards just so when he said breakfast smelled good. Complimenting her cooking was always a way to her good side.

As she set a plate of breakfast down on the table for him, she noted his expression. Though she was not gifted in the force as he was, she did not need it to know that he had something on his mind. Leda said nothing as she then turned to fetch the teapot.

Perhaps he had regrets?

Searching her own thoughts, she wondered if she really wanted to know. But she soon decided that the apprehension of not knowing was far worse a fate. Leda did not wish to be plagued with 'what-if' moments, it was simply not a way to live. Pouring the tea, a morning blend that would enliven the mind and body, she slid a mug towards Barrien before seating herself in front of her own breakfast.

Needless to say, some awkward silence had settled between them at the table. But it was to be expected, they were still strangers—on a level—though they had shared a very intimate night. After a quick bite of bacon, she gazed across the table at him.

“You have something on your mind, do you not?” she asked, brows arching slightly. “Speak it, please.”

Barrien Siegfried

 

[Barrien Siegfried]

They didn't say much but sat down to eat all the same. Whatever was troubling her wasn't something she wanted to voice, apparently. He did not feel it wise to pry at her and see what it was that upset her. All he could do was wait for her to decide it was time to voice what the issue was. She hadn't been mad the previous night so he didn't think he needed to worry over that. It had been a good night for them both even if it had been awkward for a bit at the start.

As he went to lift a bite to his mouth she asked her question, and he paused, lowering the fork. Clearly she was better at reading him than he had expected. So now it came to it.

"Before I say anything I want you to know that this isnsomething I decided a very long time ago," he said, settling his hands in his lap. "I decided when I left Oaken Dawn and joined the Jedi that I would not seek out attachments to anyone because of the dangers of it. I did not want to put them at risk of being used by someone who was trying to get to me. Even though I want it, I wasn't going to seek it. I wanted to wait for it to come to me.

"And if it did, I would have to explain that my job in life takes me many places and keeps me very busy so I could not be around all the time for her. And I would have to explain that there might come a time where something bad happens to me, or someone tries to use her against me. If the latter, and I was forced to choose between her or aaving countless others I would have to sacrifice her, even though doing so would kill me inside

"I never thoight this would happen, but if you want us to be more than just friends, I will accept it because I do find you increasingly occupying my mind and heart and I rather enjoy your company. I just need to know that you understand the risks and are alright with them."

He really hoped she would understand and accept them. If she didn't, he didn't know how to proceed.

Leda Elariel

 

[Leda Elariel]

Leda listened closely, cup of tea in hand. She did not understand the ways of the Jedi, but she did understand the ways of the warrior. Even on Oaken Dawn, it was much the same – especially now. Men left their homes and sometimes did not return.

Her eyes shifted down to the meal before her, as she took in what he had to say.

And she reflected silently. Could she bear the weight upon her shoulders? Could she bear the guilt of placing him in such a difficult position? At the moment, Leda felt unsure. She looked at the steaming tea in her cup, as if trying to divine the future in the herbal brew. The flame-haired woman then looked across the table, her eyes softer than they'd been even the night before.

“I understand your words,” Leda started. Her emerald eyes would dart a couple of times, unsure how to put the next part of her answer without offending him. “However, I need... time.”

For the moment, that was the only thing that could heal her wounds. No matter how she wanted to rush through it, blindly. Perhaps, just this once – she needed to rely on herself. But, she reached across the table and placed her hand atop his for a moment. They would always share a special friendship, she had a feeling.

“Do not mistake my words, it is not you – it is me. I am not ready,” Leda continued. She'd rushed things, she'd made a mess. “I will always be a friend to you – and to Oaken Dawn. When you return there, I shall be there to fight at your side.”

Barrien Siegfried

 

[Barrien Siegfried]

She was silent at first, and when she spoke he could tell immediately that things weren't going to go as he had initially hoped. She needed time. It made sense, given what had happened not that long ago. She'd lost the people she loved and here he was asking her to risk losing someone else. Indeed, perhaps he had been asking too much of her. It hadn't felt as such the night before when they made love. Had that merely been a need and not a want? Well, it would be pure speculation on his part. It was impossible for him to know her mind unless he invaded it and he certainly was not willing to do anything of the sort.

When she continued he nodded his head in understanding. It wasn't that she didn't like him, but that she was not ready. At least she would remain a friend, and be willing to assist with the rescue of Oaken Dawn from the hands of the Empire. That was something, at least. She hadn't given up on their home as some had undoubtedly done, which would explain why he couldn't find any of the others that had left their world.

"I understand," he assured her before diving back into his meal.

There were a long few days ahead of them with work on the house. Prolonging that work with idle conversation would only make things take much longer than they otherwise needed to. As such, when he finished, he stood.

"The breakfast was delicious, Leda. Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I should get to work on the house. After all, it wouldn't do to waste the light."

Leda Elariel