Private Promises

[Darth Daiara]

Ah.

Had her terror been unearned or was there a seed of truth in his concern? She wasn't sure. Vesta had begun to treat her like a equal. Aradia's decision had become her own, but the cruel methods of the academies were hard to forget. They had tried to break her into tool.

She found herself wanting to assure him that this one was different. Vesta seemed to care. She encouraged Aradia's sense of self-ownership at least. Aradia didn't feel like she was being broken in.

She didn't say any of this. Part of her was concerned it was a sign she had been manipulated. She didn't want to feed his worry, so she just squeezed his hand instead.

"People you thought were friends, family even, will look at you differently now, though they will pretend to behave the same."

She shoved this concern away and sought out eye contact. "But you trust me," she repeated. A tense silence filled her. She let out a heavy breath, then dropped his hand and relented.

"I admit. I was tense. I don't know what to expect from my training, and with all the enemies we have made out there, I just reacted. I locked that door because I don't know if I'm allowed a-a ... you . Like-- school dormitories don't do that. I dunno, I just-- didn't want to risk it."

A white lie.

"I don't think she's like the rest."

Another smaller lie.

"What are you going to do for me, do you even know the dark arts?"

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"I locked that door because I don't know if I'm allowed a-a ... you . Like-- school dormitories don't do that. I dunno, I just-- didn't want to risk it."

A familiar sensation made his expression falter. Involuntary twitch seized his lower eyelid as his eyes narrowed to compensate. Even if minuscule, he could sense a deception like that ten feet away. Liar. Keeping the rebuke from escaping his teeth took some effort.

"I don't think she's like the rest."

Again? Less potent this time, but it was there. Didn't she know Jedi could sense deception?

Oh, right.

Perhaps it wasn't so exclusive after all. The look on his face was the very portrait of someone who was onto something. He knew better. Yet, the last thing he wanted to do was fight. Felt like going against his instincts not to say something about the duplicity. It'd been too long, and the circumstances too uncertain to waste this time on hostility.

Hopefully, the look on his face would suffice.

"What are you going to do for me, do you even know the dark arts?"

Chit, good point.

" I haven't even been able to do that."

Lightbulb.

"I dunno, I managed to do something you said you haven't yet," he gestured to his unlit weapon. That was something, right? If she asked, he wasn't certain he could explain how he did it. Subjugation through bleeding wasn't a concept he truly understood. More of an in-the-moment thing. Still, he'd hang onto any leverage he could get. He wasn't about to let some cloak manipulate her.

"There's no telling what this haunt wants. I didn't come this far to lose you again."

 

[Darth Daiara]

"You haven't lost me, Zaavik," she snapped, her pulsing head causing a wave of agitation. She was exhausted, and abruptly at a loss for how to reach him. Everything was so frustratingly complicated. Here were two things she wanted more than everything and no matter how hard she smashed them together, they wouldn't get along.

One wrong move and he could at that window again.

She clenched and unclenched her fists, then let out a deep breath and tried again. "... Do you want to go out for the night? Go stay somewhere else? We can talk about this more tomorrow-- figure it out. But we shouldn't be leaving-- ironically this is probably the safest place for a person like you. We'll be safe here."

She stood up, her body weary as she reached for his hand. Was he.... coming?

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"You haven't lost me, Zaavik."

He curled his upper lip, frustrated. "I didn't mean immediately." Was she missing his meaning on purpose? Difficult not to be a little suspicious, especially after the embellishments from earlier. He was a half-moment away from telling her to cut the chit before she spoke again.

"Do you want to go out for the night? Go stay somewhere else? We can talk about this more tomorrow-- figure it out. But we shouldn't be leaving-- ironically this is probably the safest place for a person like you. We'll be safe here."

Taken aback for a moment, he let himself be led upward. "Safe here? Tch. Yeah, I doubt it." His bellicosity was suddenly showing. It didn't have enough fuel to peek beyond that flicker. "So, what?" he asked. "I just got here and you want me to go?" He was missing something, but that wasn't obvious to him.

Turning away with indignation, he put on a crestfallen scowl. "If that's what you want, I guess. But we aren't done talking about this." The part he did understand properly was the game she had the opportunity to pull. Didn't mean he was any less upset about being shunted so quickly.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia blinked hard, the level of exhausted increasing exponentially.

"I meant both of us, dung brain. You think I'm letting you out of my sight again?" The extended hand reached out to whack his shoulder instead, her frustration boiling over into violence. It wouldn't be the first time. She shoved and hit him again, a very clear sign that she was up to her ears and lashing out for it.

"Why. Are you. So. Impossible?" She shook him like rag doll before her fingers tangled in his shirt and she just slump to the floor, her back dragging down against the wall across from him. She ran her fingers through her hair and tugged at the roots, trying to ease the pain of the headache next.

"What do you want me to saaaaay? That I'll leave with you? You would really take this one chance I have away cause you aren't over your sith issues?"

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"I meant both of us, dung brain."

Genius. "Oh." One of his more intelligent articulations, clearly. All of her strikes and shoves sluggishly bombarded him with painless jostling. He just took it, having hardly any reaction aside from a puzzled look. It followed her down slowly as she slid against the wall to the floor. The urge to mimic her existed for no other reason than how exhausted he was. Standing was its own small hell.

To think he was about to climb back down the outside of the place.

"What do you want me to saaaaay? That I'll leave with you? You would really take this one chance I have away cause you aren't over your sith issues?"

Zaavik made a desperate sound. The lovechild of a yawn and a groan. "Fine, tomorrow," came his late agreement. Mostly because that amount of forthrightness had cornered him, rather than the exhaustion he hoped she'd assume was the culprit. It was her idea, anyway.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Tomorrow.

The promise was a relief. One night guaranteed before she had to contend with the thought of him walking away. Her chest clenched at the thought, her tired gaze snapping right over to him. She studied him, the pain building around her temple mirrored inside the lines on his face. Concern struck in her core. Tomorrow, she would ask what happened to him.


Tomorrow would determined a lot of things.

She slowly reached out, clammy fingers reaching for his one last time. She half expected him to pull away. She had just shook him a bunch.Her fingers still stung. If he did, she was was sure it wouldn't even hurt. It wouldn't deter her. She meant what she said. The way he looked-- she didn't want leave him until she knew he'd be ok.

"Stay... with me ... tonight?" she offered, her voice barely audible.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"Stay... with me ... tonight?"

"Here?" First, she said it was dangerous, and now proclaimed it was safe. He wasn't sure which to believe. Being a Sith's lair, it was likely the former. Still, could he really say no? Could he look into those troublesome, pleading eyes and simply decline? On its own, the proposal was almost enough to make him sweat. This was new, all too new, and not to mention jarringly sudden.

With confessions out of the way, if he obliged, did they become something? Had they been something all along? A lump caught itself in his throat as the implications suddenly became nervewracking. Now that he was here, any ideation of what to do or say escaped him. Even a simple yes became a puzzle to articulate. These feelings had existed in some way for perhaps a bit longer than he'd ever let on. Here, at their apex, it was an overwhelming clusterfuck of doubts and what-ifs.

"I dunno, I've just never, uh-"

The feeling of her fingers wrapping around his as she pleaded further drew him off his words. He'd never been able to do that either, let alone ever wanted to. Until now. It was practically a miracle that the alarms didn't go off in every nerve when they touched. Nothing could ever break that fear before outside of life-or-death struggles. One concern taking over the other. Now, there wasn't one to begin with.

Zaavik nodded. "Yeah," he obliged, hook hand scratching the back of his neck. "I'll stay."

 

[Darth Daiara]

Or there. Anywhere really.

She had tried to lead him out. She had tried to get him to stay. She had tried a lot of things-- far more than she had ever done to get a person to like her before.

She felt like a fool.

The kissing, the crying, the pleaing. She never wanted to pine for anyone. She never thought it was possible. But pride and self image meant little when it came to the sense of relief his words gave her. He'd stay. All that pretending that his death hadn't affected her ...

It couldn't have been more wrong.

She let her head.... slow slump ... and settle in against his shoulder. She'd act a fool any day to for the peace that then crept through her. "Good," was all she said, letting their butts go number on the estate floor.

She could sit there until their eye lids fell off. In fact, maybe she would.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

She was out long before he even came close. Nearly an hour went by, the two of them planted against the wall. Far from an ideal place to be passing out, but he hadn't been in a place to protest when she lapsed into sleep. It took a while to work up the nerve to potentially disturb her.

She might have been content falling asleep here, but his spine certainly wasn't.

He lifted her gingerly, exploring the dwelling for the correct door. One foot gently struck a control panel, causing a sliding door to gape open. Trudging forward, he laid her carefully on her own bed before falling back into an adjacent seat.

A relieved sigh escaped his chest as he leaned backward.

Zaavik forced himself not to think about tomorrow. Wouldn't ever get any sleep otherwise.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia woke with a start. Morning had just barely begun, but she felt like she had slept a year. Adrenaline pumped through her, clear and with a purpose.

It took her a moment to remember her initial panic, but when she did she sat up with a gasp. Her hand was empty-- Zaavik-- The blankets tore off just as she turned, wild eyes landing on the boy she had startled awake in her frenzy. He felt like an illusion. She pinched her arm to check, her chest heaving with wild breaths.

"...Hey." Her tension slowly melted back. She sat up fully, looking around. "Did you-" Chit, she didn't even remember passing out. That chair looked uncomfortable. She grimaced in guilt and rubbed at her face.

"I'm ...sorry, I don't even remember--" She dropped her hands and looked at him a third time, her eyes still a little too wide. "You're still here."

And alive. She resisted the urge to hug him again.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

Awakeness expanded into his mind like a bomb detonating. Hallucinatory lighting jolted every nerve, sending his instincts into a knee-jerk panic. He saw fire. One shocked inhale rasped into his chest. Kicking his legs, he scrambled to an upright posture. The handle of his weapon shot to his hand while his thumb desperately searched for the ignition. Imprecise movements of his non-dominant hand dictated that he didn't find it. Frantically, eyes darted around, vacant, slowly lighting up as they took in his surroundings.

"...Hey."

Frightened violent impulses started to subside. A flutter of blinks kicked off as her voice brought him partially back to reality. After a delay, he became suddenly, painfully aware of the position he was in. Drowsy stupefaction hardly let him process how strange that must have looked. Autopiloting, he tucked the saber hilt between the arm and the cushion of the seat, hoping that in her daze, with angle willing, she hadn't fully noticed or understood the extent of his outburst.

Quietly, he caught his breath, brain making the connections of the night before. The wakening haze was gradually clearing to reveal the details of the previous night. It was a lot to reabsorb, but the good memories hadn't lost their hit yet.

"You're still here."

Still here. Still with her.

Still under the roof of a Sith.

Despite the reality of his current locale, a tired, amiable smile crept across his face. Either she had that effect on him, or he was doing it for effect. Likely both, although mostly the former. "I told you I'd stay," he assured.

Did she really think he wouldn't keep his word? Perhaps he brought that on with the less pleasant parts of last night. And now it was the day they agreed on. The inevitable was approaching now, wasn't it? Maybe he could postpone it if he kept the topic elsewhere. Zaavik figured Aradia was dreading it just as much as he was.

"You uh-? You sleep well?"

Nailed it.

 

[Darth Daiara]

"Yeah, she murmured, the answer still shocking her. "Guess I did."

She couldn't stop looking at him. Last night had been so hazy, with the migraine and the anxiety. Everything had been feeling like it had stepped into a nightmare, and she only now realized why. Him being dead had knocked her legs right out from under her. No matter how hard she had tried to pushed on, she couldn't.

And now here he was. The nightmare was over.

A smile flashed across her lips, before she caught herself and shoved it away.

"I um-- you didn't have to sleep there," she mumbled, rubbing at the back of her neck. She looked around, catching the presence of dawn through her windows.

Was it too early for food? Probably. She didn't think she slept that long. It seemed likely he'd still want to get another few hours in.

"You want a turn?" She gestured, moving to step out.

There was no way she was sleeping now. Her heart stuttered as if on 3 cups of coffee.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"I um-- you didn't have to sleep there."

Zaavik arched his brow, blinked once. Where else was he supposed to sleep? The floor? Next to her? It would be a lie if he hadn't considered it when he laid her there. He was daring enough to stand up to scale the side of a building with no harness, and even stand up to Sith Spirits but, alas, he didn't have the guts for that.

"You want a turn?"

"Uhm." Pure eloquence. The chair hadn't been so bad, he'd slept in much worse on many occasions. Several in very recent memory. He declined. "Maybe next time?" Couldn't keep eye contact with that proposal. The thought of sharing a cot twisted his gut into a flurry, nearly mad his hands clammy.

There was little chance of getting back to sleep after being woken up like that, anyway. No one's fault, but that was the way things fell. Primal fear and adrenaline were more potent than any morning routine. Too many nights of sleep ended prematurely with a bump or nightmare.

He watched her rise and move away. Glued to the chair, feeling unwieldy, he was unsure of what to do or say next. Did he pretend everything was fine now? Act normal? Just live? Having something on the agenda, or at least something to doggedly pursue had become the norm. It was hard to sit still now.

 

[Darth Daiara]

The tension of last night slowly settled back over her shoulders, the unresolved nature of their conversation leaving everything feeling... unstable. He was back and alive and while there was a great sense of elation to that fact, she painfully aware that that could change in a heart beat.

She almost thought she would leave with him if he asked again, if just to preserve this delicate sense of peace. Almost.

She looked around the space that made up her home while she trained under a dark lord and left her belongs tucked neatly into their place. "...Wanna find a breakfast joint?" She offered, feeling how the air would never fully enter his lungs while he sat in here .

It was hypocritical of him, really. He was just as dark as her, and yet she felt the subtle way he looked down on this place.

Like he was better than it.

Well not better enough to not need the power it gave him. Her lips pursed into a thin line, growing tenser as she entertained the defense she would have to give. She gestured to the door as she slipped on her shoes.

She knew better than to think she could have her cake and eat it too.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"...Wanna find a breakfast joint?"

Such an innocuous proposal nearly caught him off guard. Breakfast? He'd avoided the larger parts of the surrounding city. The bounty on him wasn't entirely ubiquitous, but far from obscure. SIA hits paid well, and it made it hard to go anywhere. Was it worth the risk? Perhaps. Anything to get out of here, he supposed. "Yeah, sounds good," he replied.

Soreness resurrected as he pulled himself out of the chair. Maybe he should go back to the ship to change or get things he needed. Probably not the best time to coax Aradia onto his vessel. She'd likely assume the worst of it. He stole a hair tie from a side table and gathered the mess of a mane sprouting from his head. Taming it, he restrained it to the back of his head.

"You think I should wear a hat? Or a hood, or something? My face is on every bounty board worth a chit."

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia glanced at him, the proposition nearly throwing her for a loop.

"Not here. They definitely don't have reach here. But um--" She looked around, her cloak fluttering through the air and into her hand at her nonverbal summon.

"Here."

She didn't scoff at his concerns. She understood them. Wariness kept you alive. Skeptics kept out of traps. They weren't nearly wary enough on Vjun. They should have been. It nearly cost them everything. The very least, it cost her her ship. As he tied it on, she pulled a round object out of her pocket. Allyson Locke 's coin.

Another sign that last night was real. He was here, and this coin... this coin...

She looked, caught mid stroke over the metal she had held so gingerly. "What happened to it?" She flipped it over, showing him the crack that had formed down the middle. She tried not to look bothered, but it was hard not to run her thumb obsessively over the fracture.

The only other personal item she had on her was the saber they had built together. She wore it even now, despite its refusal to light anymore.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"Here."

Zaavik reluctantly threw the stygian fabric over his shoulders. Surprisingly, it managed to fit despite the significant dimensional differences between them. It seemed stitched to his size rather than hers. Still, cover was cover, and he'd take what he could get. She might have been sure there wasn't any risk here, but Zaavik was not nearly as certain. It was a lot of cred, and he'd seen first hand how far mancatchers would go for a payout half the size of the one on his name. Someone could have followed him, or at least his trail to this rock. Wasn't worth the risk of flaunting without worry.

"What happened to it?"

The inquiry came just as soon as he was finished adjusting the cloak. Both eyes snapped to the coin like magnets. Right, the fissure. "Uh, Bastion." That wasn't really an answer. "It happened on Bastion," he clarified more deliberately. Potent, involuntary psychometry had given him visions clear enough to affect the physical. This didn't seem like an appropriate time to tell her he'd watched her die. Especially when he was still trying to hold on to the positives.

"Just uh, force stuff." That was still hardly an answer. Zaavik cleared a sudden lump out of his throat. "We should get going. I can explain over food, I'm starving." That wasn't really a good time either, but he was bidding for enough of a delay that the topic would fade away.

"Do we need to sneak our way out?" he asked, under the impression that his presence here was still supposed to be a secret.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia considered the door for a long moment. "...No," she conceded with a large breath, as if she too was trepidatious and stepping out of her comfort zone.

"This is suppose to be a home. If she has a problem with you... we will leave." Her words were punctuated with a glance his way, the promise struck. It might be easy to mistrust her anxiety as a sign of danger, but she would have done the same to him at Kaalia's. Aradia was simply not use to have control of the world around her. When she liked something, she liked to keep it hidden.

But she couldn't do that here with him.

She turned, marching with with brave steps to her door. The lock was undone, the span of the empty hall opened up for them both to face.

"See," she told him, forcing a smile through her teeth. "Let's go."

She led him through the halls, passing by a servant or two, of which she intentionally did not acknowledge. Something about them brought a lash of pain to her chest. No one would seem bothered by his presence. While the house was rising, one thing was clear. These halls were hers to walk. She brought him through the estate front doors without any intervention.

"Oh," she said, stopping short. Her face crinkled in a stupid aforementioned thought. "I don't have credits.... Do you?" The loss of her ship had been a heavy one indeed.

 

[Zaavik Perl]

"This is suppose to be a home. If she has a problem with you... we will leave."

Just like that? He hoped so, but no soul could blame him for being skeptical. Aradia was either playing tough, in denial about how chained the Sith really had her or both, Zaavik thought. Maybe he was the one in denial about how much he really meant to her. That reality had hardly enough time to really sink in. Even if the Sith didn't have a problem with him, could he bring himself not to have a problem with them? Aradia had altered his limits more than once, maybe it would be the case again.

Zaavik kept his head down as they moved through the hall. Not once had it occurred to him to take stock of how many people resided in the estate. It wouldn't have been so difficult to reach out and sense it. Servants? Other Apprentices? He didn't dare to peek up for a good enough look one way or the other. Every step came with a dread that he was going to bump right into the still nameless and faceless Sith that had become the icon of their shared tribulation.

A breeze from the outside rushed over him in a wave of relief. His head rose from beneath the cowl, fresh air grazed his cheeks. Suddenly his shoulders felt a million pounds lighter.

"I don't have credits.... Do you?"

Reaching into his pocket, he fished out a credstick, poked it out from under his cloak. Flashing it, he wordlessly confirmed his possession. It wasn't his, but neither was the ship he came here in. Courtesy of the same scumfuck on Kol Huro. There was no telling how much was on it, but at the very least it wasn't empty.

"I don't know my way around," he informed. After returning the credstick to his pocket, the same hand slithered out from under the cloak. His hand seized hers, hanging leisurely to the side. "But I'm guessing you know a place?"