Private Quiet in the Library

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai picked up one of the books she had picked out, admiring the cover. Distracted, he almost didn’t notice Aeris gesturing for him to follow until she had already started walking away from him. At the sound of her departing footsteps his head jerked up, the book sliding from his grasp as he hurried after her.

At the question of how long he had been alone, he shrugged.

<A long time.>

He was often left alone even now, all by himself in his cell.

<What happened is a long story. Don’t want to hurt your brain.>

Reaching over, he lightly tapped her head with one finger, smiling.

<Too much information.>

He was repeating what he had heard someone else say. It was a phrase with many meanings, and one of them was to get someone to stop talking. Perhaps it was true that his method of delivering information was overwhelming and taxing to the mind, but he also didn’t particularly want to discuss it. What happened made him sad. His memories were filled with a sense of loss, confusion, and fear.

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"Fair point." Aeris chuckled. "It takes some getting used to telepathy."

As they continued through the library she came to a stop by an old shelf, worn from use and abuse. A token from the first few days and the way things had gone for the order since. Not so much a thing they couldn't afford to swap as much as something that was just too bothersome to replace. The curved structure, the way it seemed to be carved straight out of a thick wooden log made it hard to tell if this was a repurposed artwork or an actual bookshelf.

It had sentimental values to some.

"Next up: travel guides and cultural documents." Aeris placed her hand on her hip with a shrug. "If you happen to have an interest in any special culture, or species out there then we can most likely provide."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai bobbed along happily beside the blonde librarian. Already he was thinking of her as a new friend, even though he didn’t know her name. Huh. He could take the information, but maybe he should ask?

<What is your name?>

He ran his hands over the shelf she presented to him next. Real wood? Hadn’t seen that in a while.

Distracted, he didn’t realize she was technically asking him what he wanted to read about until a few seconds had passed.

<Don’t know.>

A pause, considerable hesitation. Some people reacted very badly to what he was about to tell her, and he didn't want to lose a new friend. So instead of telling her, he posed it as a question.

<Is Sithspawn a species?>

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"My name is Aeris." The librarian smiled and watched as Kai inspected the shelves. "I help keep the library in order."

And then, Kai asked that one question that was bigger than they most likely wanted it to be. A thoughtful frown fell upon Aeris as she considered a good way to put it for Kai.

"That's a bit of a tough question, really." Aeris said and slowly began to nod. "Are genetically modified creatures still the same creature they once were, or an entirely new sub-species of whichever family they spawned from?" Her finger found her chin as she fell deeper into the thought. "I want to say, just because something is born of evil does not make it necessarily so."

"I guess, to put it more simply: yes, and no. Sithspawn are taken from one species and modified, but the modifications can either radically change something or less noticable -- if at all."

"I could probably find you a book or two about it, if you want."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

“Aeris.”

Kai attempted to say her name out loud. His voice was barely above a whisper, so soft-spoken it could almost be mistaken for a sigh. Fingers rubbed at his throat, a furrowed brow worrying about the vibration of the delicate vocal cords within. As if he were afraid that if he spoke too loudly, they would break.

Her reaction to his question was more complex than he could really digest. He’d really just wanted to know if there were books in this section about Sithspawn, but now that she had gotten him started…

<What if the Sithspawn is not the same species at all? Die in one body, be reborn in another?>

Though Kai had become more tightly wound as far as his telepathic projections went ever since they started this discussion on Sithspawn, a little did slip out, if only due to the violence of the memory he was recalling.

A sterile lab. Clawlike hands cradling his tiny newborn body of crystal. Terror and despair. He was alone, and death awaited him.

“Be brave,” a voice whispered. “It will only take a moment. You want to live, you will live.”

Right before the claws crushed him, the crystal form shattering like glass—

Something plopped to the floor at his feet. Kai, his head bowed, blinked in surprise at the sight of a tiny wet stain spreading across the carpet. A stinging, tickling sensation around his eyes prompted him to touch his face. His hand came away damp. Tears? He knew what they were, but could not recall ever having cried before. Many firsts today.

<Yes. I would like books about it.>

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Now that was a question she did not expect from something that so far had acted almost child-like in their mannerisms. This thought of death and rebirth was a difficult one and for the briefest moment Aeris was dumbstruck by it. Her brow raised before in an instant it fell down into a blank, neutral stare into the distance. Imagery of death, rebirth, but most of all fear. Being dumbstruck turned into an overload of information and information that Aeris could not handle. Her lower lip trembled for a moment before she, upon the sight of the tears that began to pour, reached out to place her hand against Kai's shoulder with a gentle rub of her thumb.

"I--" She stammered. "I think I understand."

For a second she looked to the ground before she looked up again.

"Would you mind if I gave you a hug?"

This mimic was the consequence of something that had been forced upon it. They didn't just want to understand Sithspawn, they wanted to understand themselves, and perhaps in that the Jedi library was not one to provide the kindest of reflections on it. But so far Kai had proven to be kinder than Aeris would have expected of someone of his... make. Was she torn? Yes, absolutely, but that did not mean she would turn it away out of fear. An extra layer of care was added, yes, but only time could tell if this trust was misplaced or not.

Aeris preferred to presume it was not.

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai grew slightly alarmed as Aeris became upset. She didn’t seem to be angry, only… not sad, but something similar. He didn’t fully understand the concept of empathy yet.

His gaze flicked to the hand she placed on his shoulder, but he didn’t move to back away or shrug her off. She asked if she could give him a hug. A hug? That was a good thing, right? Huh. He’d never gotten one of those before.

<Okay.>

Unsure of how to proceed, he simply stood there in a relaxed position to receive the gesture, his arms at his sides. Assuming she didn’t chicken out or find the embrace too awkward to linger in, Aeris might notice that his body felt a bit… soft. Not boneless or, Force forbid, squishy, but there was an elastic pliability to him that was definitely inhuman. He started to return the gesture, cautiously mimicking her movements, though as the Jedi scholars who had studied him noted, he had a decidedly poor grasp of his own physical strength.

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

It was like hugging a sandbag. Not quite solid, not quite soft. While innately weird and somewhat uncomfortable to the mind it was something that Aeris would manage to overcome if she focused on why she was doing it. Kai was a survivor, and with luck he wouldn't be alone in his struggle to recover. There was at least one jedi knight who was willing to stand by him for as long as he didn't act against her, and that one was holding him in her arms as they spoke.

As the hug was returned she felt the weight of his arms push against her spine until it curved and she began to struggle for air.

"Kai." She gasped for a second. "Kai. Kai, you can let me go."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

She was gasping for air. Was something wrong? Had he done something wrong?

<Sorry.>

He let go of her immediately, releasing the too-tight hold of his arms around her. Once she was free, he took a step back, waiting for her to catch her breath. Not a bad experience, though it seemed he wasn’t very good at it.

As soon as she was fully recovered, he sheepishly tried to explain his mistake. The expression on his face manifested almost as a pout. He looked like a guilty puppy.

<I don’t have to breathe. Forgot that people do. Sorry.>

A vague memory of lying at the bottom of a pool of water, waiting patiently for the right minerals and atoms to align so his crystal body could grow.

<Can I still have books?>

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Aeris felt the calm come back to her as the air returned to her lungs. As the moment passed into silence she glanced up at Kai with a weak grin.

"It's alright, we will work on the hugging later." She sighed and stood back up again. "It makes sense. I forget that people do not do hugs either, so I suppose that makes us even."

Another memory, another exploration into who this creature was. It was starting to become manageable, the flashes were less overwhelming and more of a way of things. It was like watching a movie through a broken screen with bad reception. You only got the occasional glimpse into the story of things, but the images that she got said more than enough.

"Of course you can." Aeris smiled once more and placed a few more on the shelf. "Last section, for now, is up ahead. Fiction."

"Got any kind of story you enjoy? We have heroic tales, imaginary fights and the likes... Romance."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Okay good, okay fine.>

Although relieved, he paused, a bit puzzled by the rest of what she said about hugs.

<If people don’t do hugs, then who does?>

He followed her, watching in fascination as her ponytail swished with every step she took. Touching a hand to the back of his own head, he started to imitate it, gathering and lengthening his “hair” through his fist—though he quickly dropped his hand and got rid of it the moment she looked at him again.

Having never read fiction, he shrugged.

<Do you like romance?>

A completely innocent question coming from him, mind you. Remember, this isn’t the real Dagon.

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"Oh, people as in some people. Depends on culture and such." Aeris clarified before she seemed to stutter and stammer all of a sudden. "Oh-- Ro-- I mean, uh--"

She cleared her throat.

"Naturally, romance is a... Common part in any person's life. The, uh, birds and bees. The heat of the moment, and... All of... That."

Did Aeris like romance? Was that to ask if she enjoyed real romance, the ideals she held of romance, or the whole romantic movement? What really was a question anyway? Did all questions have answers, and what was an answer? Was an answer always truth, or was a lie also an answer, and did that make lies truths? Aeris exhaled a warm breath to try that again.

Her eyes darted around the room for a moment before she leaned in, her voice barely more than a whisper as she spoke,

"I enjoy reading about it, yes."

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai rubbed the back of his neck, his brow furrowing faintly.

<Birds and bees? Heat of the moment?>

He knew the basics of how reproduction in humans worked, and he had a general understanding of what romance was, but the phrases she was using were unfamiliar to him. She also seemed… nervous? Embarrassed? Had he asked a bad question? But then she answered, very quietly, leaning in like she was divulging a secret. Huh.

<Okay. Good to read, then.>

Since she had leaned toward him, he gently patted her on the head in a gesture of goodwill (taking care to mind his strength), then waited for her to move on to the next section.

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

It was like talking to a child, which probably wasn't too far off. Aeris accepted the pat son her head and then tried her best to forget the topic as she put the last few books onto her little cart. Though she had considered not doing it, she threw in a single copy of a tame book that Aeris herself would file under the 'romantic' section. A short story about two families located on a small farmer's moon and with a land border between each of their vineyards. The daughter of one had fallen in love with the son of the other. A tragic love story but one that had melted young Aeris' heart when she was barely a teenager.

It was, of course, absolute trash by modern standards. Or rather, her current standards.

"I think that was it." Aeris said and let the cart come to a stop by a rather big desk. "Let me process these for you and we'll bring them to your room to keep you company, hm?"

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai didn’t respond, his attention elsewhere. Shenanigans were afoot.

That is to say, a Wookiee wearing a vest had entered the library, moving with a purposeful stride. Presumably, he was not interested in checking out a book.

In the blink of an eye, Kai had dive-bombed behind the large desk, landing soundlessly on the floor out of sight. The Wookiee lumbered about for a bit, looking around, then approached Aeris. He politely whuffled a couple of questions: Had she seen Padawan Kaze recently, and did he seem to be behaving oddly?

Hidden from view, Kai looked up at Aeris with a panicked expression, shaking his head. He didn’t attempt to communicate with her telepathically, perhaps hoping to evade notice so long as he remained totally silent, even dampening his presence in the Force to some degree. Granted, she had been about to take him back to his cell anyway, but he did not want to be found by security and forcibly removed.

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

"While I understand your concern, I have it under control." Aeris gave the man an almost curt nod and continued to check the books for Kai. "Things have gotten a bit weird with the man, yes, but I assure you they will be back to normal in due time. Can't explain quite yet, but if you catch me in an hour or two I will explain, Knight Hrroarwic."

There was nothing threatening about how she spoke, she was merely brief. One part of her mind focused on the books, the other on keeping at least a small eye out on Kai as they seemed to shy away again. She could understand the apprehension, she too wouldn't be likely to want to go back just yet either, but they were a visitor of sorts -- or rather, prisoner even if it hurt Aeris to admit -- and that meant that they had to be back sooner rather than later.

The wookie nodded in clear confusion but departed nonetheless. Aeris waved Kai over.

"I think we should get you back to your room." She said and put the last few books back on the cart. "I think people are getting suspicious."

"As long as I come along, we shouldn't run into any trouble as long as I come with you."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai only started to slip out of hiding once the Wookiee Knight was gone. He turned to Aeris, a bit surprised she hadn’t ratted him out… only to pout at the prospect of going back to his room anyway.

<Do I have to?>

Yes, he supposed he had to. If he stayed out any longer, not only might he get in trouble, Aeris might too. And that would not be good.

Still glum about it, he followed her and the cart out of the library. Truth be told, he was getting kind of hungry, and returning to his room meant he’d be left alone to hu—I mean, have lunch. They fed him, after all. Just not enough, and without catering to all of his hungers...

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

She gave the kid a slow nod. They had to go back to their cell, and Aeris should most likely go back to ensuring that the shelves were sorted properly or whatever it was that librarians actually did. The change of air was apparent as they stepped out of the archives. The big multi-story window no longer offered the same warmth and the climate controlled fans blew cold air into the immediate area. A slight shiver ran down Aeris spine and she shuddered.

"Do you know any other forms?" She asked Kai and looked over at the kid. "Dagon is a rather... Prominent member of the Order. People take notice of what he does."

The hallways seemed empty at the moment. Training hours? Sleep? Aeris' sleep schedule was way off-rhythm. Too many good books, too little time in a day.

"And I'd rather know you for who or what you are as opposed to a mirror image of another friend of mine."

Kai Bamarri

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Kai appeared unbothered by the cold, his body already adapting to the slight shift in temperature.

"Do you know any other forms?"

<I can look however I want.>

To prove it, he checked that the hallway was empty, then started to change form, his flesh morphing into an imitation of Aeris herself, including the clothes she was wearing. (Try not to imagine what the halfway merge between Dagon and Aeris looked like…) The eyes still retained that slightly dopey babe-in-the-woods look, but otherwise it was her doppelganger. He didn’t stay in this form for very long, quickly shifting back into that of Dagon. (Sweet Force, is that what their kid would look like? Agh!) The whole transformation happened in a matter of seconds.

"Dagon is a rather... Prominent member of the Order. People take notice of what he does."

He glanced at Aeris, and for a brief moment there was that flash of loneliness again.

Master Orsk had posed a similar question to him, though he had taken on a slightly more lecturing tone. “The real Dagon has been mistakenly blamed for your antics while impersonating him. Do you want to get Dagon in trouble?”

Slouching in his seat, his head resting on his hands, Kai had simply shook his head. Orsk shifted, firing up the armchair psychology.

“I noticed your, er, hero worship of him. It is common for young people to emulate their heroes and even pretend to be them, putting on a costume and whatnot. But a child’s personal hero changes quickly. You seem fixated on one person. Granted, he rescued you, brought you here, and you seem to have made some kind of personal connection to him… Do you wish that Dagon would visit you? Is that what all this is about? You pretend to be him, because he’s not here? Because from your perspective, he has abandoned you?...”

One corner of his mouth turning up in a lopsided smirk, Kai slid his hands into his jacket pockets and shrugged.

<He doesn’t go to the library?>

"I'd rather know you for who or what you are as opposed to a mirror image of another friend of mine."

His smile didn’t falter, though the look in his eyes changed, growing murky.

<I have nothing but this. I don’t remember what I looked like before, and this body looks bad unless it’s imitating something else.>

He granted her a brief mental image of the Doppelganger’s “natural” form. Hairless and mouthless with spindly limbs and jagged claws in place of hands and feet. His skin was stained with warm and cool colors, allegedly shifting according to his moods—peach and amber and pink one moment, teal and sapphire and violet in the next—and he had delicate elfin ears. The late Adrian Vandiir had designed this species and considered them gorgeous, a work of art. Proof that art was subjective, clearly.

<I do not like what I am, and I do not know who I am.>

Aeris Lashiec​

 

[Aeris Lashiec]

Between trying to fix the galaxy on his own and being as thickheaded as a smashball player? Aeris grinned back at Kai, forgetting for a moment that the kid was younger than he let on, the reply hanging just by the tip of her tongue as she kept herself from talking down on Dagon, just in case the kid would take offense. It was his hero after all.

And dear lord, she tried not to observe the monstrosity that was the middle ground between her own self and Dagon. Perhaps it was for the best of the whole galaxy that she saw him far more as a brother than anything else. The mere thought at this point made her grimace for a moment before the smile slowly returned to her lips.

The mental projection of Kai's real form flashed for a moment. At first she found it hard to believe, but then she had thought the same thing back when she had first met Kai as well when the latter had thrown themselves into a vent disguised as Dagon. Life didn't take the twists and turns that people wanted at times, but it was not that they had happened which mattered but what those involved made of the turns. What she saw in Kai was a lost soul who much like the rest of those like him wasn't beyond redemption at all. He was just confused, scared, and alone. They were all things that would make anyone turn their backs on those they thought would hurt them.

At the very least she was happy and content knowing that Kai had been willing to give her the benefit of a doubt and trusted her enough to let her take a walk around the library with her.

"Well, Kai," Aeris said and let her smile grow even warmer. "I like you, and if you are not sure who you are then I'd say we have some work on our hands to let you shape that into something good, something to be proud of."

"And if you want, I could maybe swing by with some projections later. Something to help create a wholly unique appearance? But not unless you really want to, of course."