Restless Spirits (complete)

[Arabella Darkhold]

"I might like that" well that slipped out a bit too casually, she shrugged it was her sense of humor she just didn't know if he had a similar sense of it, "this redemption you speak of is it a one time offer or does it remain always?" She looked at him he had been everything that she had not expected. Her grabbing his sleeve was a show of her fears it was also a show that of all she had encountered he and Audren she had a measure of trust they had kept their word, and showed her something that was a source of confusion for her. She was lost on what to do.

Back down the stairs into the darkness back where she felt wilted. "might be better to put a cage on display in the entrance where the sun is, most sith love the dark, love the shadows." In the darkness where dark thoughts thrived any sith would feel they had done them a great favor for her this was punishment, even being without the force did not deter her.

"I might like for our paths to cross again, and I say that in a very non sinister way. I have, few that I talk to, it is unusual for me to find someone who actually listens" She smiled and looked down, there was no hidden meaning no measure of expectation she was just herself expressing her thoughts.

"that being said, will you stay a bit longer, is it an imposition to ask you to?" She half smiled at that moment.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor walked in with her and let her lead to her cell, which she did willingly and without question. Asking for his company, he turned and rested his hand on the shield activation lever.

"I can stay for a while, of course.”

He flipped the lever and pushed the blue button. Within a heartbeat the thin purple shield came down across the cell, one more providing a barrier between captive and interrogator. As pleasant as Arabella was, she was still a Sanctum prisoner and Connor wasn’t going to risk anything for the sake of a nice conversation.

"I am sure our paths will cross again. If you want me to let the Sanctum officials know what we’ve done, I will try and get them to give you an idea of what will happen. As I say, it’s not my place to.”

He walked back in front of the shield, and once again clasped his hands behind his back.

"Remember what I said. Don’t let your emotional state be manipulated for the sake of others. The Dark Side is a thick veil that, once it comes down, is very hard to see through without help.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

Bella looked at the wall in front of her before turning around even though she was back inside she felt better and it would be a little bit before the darkness shrouded her mind, and if he kept his word about the holobooks it would help to stave it off a bit longer.

"I'm conflicted over what you've said. And what Audren has said, it doesn't seem like something so easy" Bella turned around to look at Connor now, "In my mind if I do anything other than what I have my father may see it as a betrayal if he still lives. The Sith wouldn't miss my presence I'm not someone like Darth Vornskyr I don't even have a Darth name, I never needed one." She half smiled, "have heard some of their names it is like they pick something from the dead languages to hide themselves. Why hide? If the force can tell so much it seems to me no one can hide for long"

She stood still, just listening to the low humm around her no voices, no force, no loss of her emotions this was different.

"You could let the Sanctum know I really do need to know what will happen. I have to make sure Hyogo is taken care of and the people that live there. It's important to my family, and our honor" It was those that relied on House Togashi for sustenance looked to her.

"I don't know which way to turn I feel.....twisted up" She was, what could she do?

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor rolled his eyes and smirked.

"You’re right. All those Darth names and titles, for what? To radiate fear? If they were so powerful and confident, drop the façade and just do what you need to do. Jedi may have rank, but all systems of law and order have that. Our names are who we are and we don’t hide them behind words that hold empty meaning.”

He too heard the low hum in the room. Peaceful and quiet between the two of them.

"You’ll find your path, Arabella. I’m sure of it. I think you know which way your heart is taking you. Just be sure to follow it for the right reasons.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

"I"m glad you know so much cause I don't think I know anything. I think that I'm thinking way too much as of late." She looked at the hilt of the saber again and thought what if it was Lukes is it possible?

Of course many things were possible many things were even inevitable, Was all of this inevitable was it designed to make her think? Or was she driving herself crazy? She wanted to go home and sit in the gardens, and forget about the evil in the galaxy for a while,

Would he let her touch it? Of course not, it's a weapon and it didn't require the force to be able to use it. She shook her head and laughed. "How does one know the right reason?" Colbalt blue eyes looked at him he had given her all the talking that she expected, but he kept bringing it back to her, and her feelings, and her knowledge of right and wrong.

"Maybe I don't know, maybe the right reasons are tangled into all the wrong things, how do you know?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

It was one of those questions that had endless answers, never knowing which was right or wrong.

"I don’t really know. You just…feel it. You know where you allegiances lie, and what you naturally perceive as right and wrong, good and evil.”

He chewed his lip a little, knowing that he himself had struggled knowing which was the path to take.

"It’s the conscious choice inside us that makes us different to droids and non-sentient beings; we know what we want, how we want to get it, and what we want to make of ourselves. Nobody will make the choice for you, only you can do that, but at the end of the day only you know what it is you want.”

He held up his hands, palms up.

"Light, or dark.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

Bella understood choices she had made many on her own based on information she had at the time, "Audren told me that you have Jedi here who use the dark side of the force, and yet you do not call them Sith."

She exhaled hard trying to understand, "Were they once Sith and have just decided to be Jedi. I do not understand this how can this be? You say it is choice, so was their choice to be a Jedi but keep dark side teachings?" Bella was so confused on all of this, it was like someone offering chocolate and saying this is vanilla not chocolate. It looked like chocolate, tasted like chocolate but it was vanilla.

Bella's head hurt. Or were they all lieing to her to confuse her more, that their plan was to tell her nothing at all but confusion and mislead her. She had been honest with them, did they not want honesty?

"You are a Master Jedi, you teach others yes. Please...please help me understand. If there is choice" her eyes pleaded for help.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor needed to have chair installed in these cells, because it would be nicer to sit and talk rather than stand. Interrogations didn’t have to be intimidating. Bella touched upon a point very cloudy in the Force spectrum, and the Jedi as a whole. While he didn’t have definitive answers – who did? – he could at least try to relieve her thought.

"I am one such Jedi. Well, I was. I am, sort of. I’ve progressed from a time when I thought I could control both Light and Dark. Nobody can without suffering. However, I don’t count myself as a Sith as I stand for the Order of Light – I’ll never act how a Sith does, and the Force will be used against them and them alone. I may touch upon the more aggressive and violent nature of the Force in battle, but that’s my choice because I feel, personally, it is more effective. When you’re facing down a Sith in battle, there’s no point trying to tickle him with a Force push when you can cripple him with Force Lightning.”

At the thought of that, his fingers rubbed together. He’d learnt that power the hard way.

"The minute you exploit the Force for power, for greed and corruption, that is when the Dark Side has you. If you become one who uses the Force for personal gain and use it against innocents, then the Sith roots are already taking hold. I find the Jedi need to fight a lot harder than they did years before. Partly that’s what we do at the Sanctum – we are a little rough around the edges, but our position against the Dark Side is as clear as day.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

​

Bella considered all these words it was within the actions of the use of the force in this way it was choice. Aggressive, greed, power, violence what did she embodied of these characteristics, she was not greedy for her family provided, she craved no power she had a hard enough time controlling herself let alone desire to control others, aggressive yes she could say she was aggressive, and violent was she violent she had a temper and it often led her to violence.

"Aggression can be used for good and bad many negotiations take on an aggressive nature to ensure a prominent outcome. I have been aggressive with the wine merchant because he likes to haggle but you do not mean aggression in this way do you?"

Bella began rubbing her hands together thinking, "you mean should one use aggression with anger and intent, is this correct?" She wanted to be sure she understood wanted to be sure that all thoughts were aligned so that she could think upon them and give them proper perspective.

Yes, she had to be sure.

 

[Connor Harrison]

"Well, look, we are human – most of us. We have emotions. If we understand, control and deal with them in a humane way, we will not lose our humanity. We snap, we raise voices, we touch upon aggression when we are stressed but we know when to stop, when to talk away and ultimately what is immoral and, or, illegal. If you can’t see anything you’re doing as one of those, it’s time to ask serious questions.”

He rubbed his fingers together in a steeple, helping him focus and think about his words as he talked.

"If we visit a city on an uncharted planet and want to open up possible trade routes, or establish an outpost there, we have to discuss this with the government or culture already there. It’s common decency. We’d expect the same. We may get along, we may not, but as long as we keep our emotions in check and work WITH them, hopefully we’ll get to a positive outcome. If not, we leave and take away lessons learnt. We move on. End of. BUT if you’re like certain Sith and blind to your own restraint, you’d visit the government and if nothing went you’re way, you’d kill them to make a point and to make others bow down in fear. You’d land an army and destroy their moral and wipe out all they have so you are all they can depend on – you enslave them through fear and command them through violence and destruction. That is what divides the Jedi and Sith.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

​

"So it is the amount of control over myself and my interactions that determine whether I can call myself Sith or Jedi, or even neutral, is this correct?" She believed she understood she believed that if this was true then it was only her temper that drove the desires within, but as for the immoral she was uncertain.

"When you say immoral there are things that many might consider immoral but I find" She moved back and forth for a moment uncomfortable, "pleasant. I do not infict my taste for this things on others they only for myself. Does that lead to a dark place?"

She never felt dark in those moments she felt calm, restful, at times excited, sexy, loud but she did not feel dark or immoral.

 

[Connor Harrison]

He tapped his fingers on his chin, gently stroking the small beard as she talked.

"Possibly - possibly.”

Connor began to pace in front of the cell.

"Tell me about what you find pleasant. What drives you. I’m not a preacher, but I can give you my view on what you say in the greater scheme of things. And don’t worry, I’ve done dark deeds to so you can tell me anything if it will help get it off your chest.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

Bella looked a bit surprised he wanted to know what she meant. "Like maybe I meet someone and take them home on the first night because I need to not feel alone. Some would consider that immoral. How do you feel about dessert before dinner?" She smiled, "What drives me" looking directly at him she would be honest, "the one thing the one emotion that drives almost everything I do, is that I will disappoint those around me. If Muadie wanted to move into mandalorian territory I went, if my father wanted me to over see the house hold staff and stand on my head white reciting earth bending spells, I did it. If proving myself worthy to watch over Hyogo meant taking on a terentak while looking for a vase that was forgotten on Korriban I did it. I want to be accepted." An admission that no one else in the galaxy had ever heard from Arabella Darkhold.

She didn't smile she wasn't playing this time she was asking him a serious question one that she had asked others and the answers were quite astonishing to her. But none of them had been a Jedi Master before and none had ever readily admitted that they had done their own share of immoral acts.

It was becoming clearer to Bella that she was not so different from the Jedi that [member="Connor Harrison"] described or the ones described by [member="Audren Sykes"] for that matter. And so far while each had given her different descriptions of what Jedi where she found that so far they both meant similar things. Bella would likely outlive many of the people she encountered and gaining knowledge would be a lifetime opportunity gaining this knowledge was important to her existence.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Well, she certainly wasn’t backwards about coming forwards. He sucked in a wry smile and nodded, looking away and nodding. He couldn’t say that experience was something he was familiar with, but maybe one day.

"That is…a moment shared between two people, either for mutual benefit or one alone. It deals with affairs of the heart, but it’s between grown adults. That’s personal. Hopefully it wouldn’t be an act of blackmail or anything soul destroying, but that’s not really immoral – that’s just…er…it’s just….adventurous.”

He coughed a little and tapped his chin a little more to move on.

"So you want to fit in and you’ll do anything to do just that? That’s where it’s dangerous because obviously you shouldn’t step over the line just to be accepted. There should be people out there who will accept you for who you are, not have you do something to prove it.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

"that's what I said" she paused she would take this conversation to a different level, "Connor that I did not inflict it upon anyone else, I merely seek the pleasure for pleasure itself and you didn't answer my question about dessert."

She looked at him she had expected that he would say that about her desire for acceptance, "Connor when you live remotely away from many things that perhaps you take for every day, for casual that I don't know about and there are only a few people in your life your reliance is on them. How do you say to them I reject all you have given and taught. Is that not like throwing a gift back in a presenters face? Their acceptance of me. Three people in a house one has raised you given you everything don't you feel you need their approval their acceptance"

She did not know how to let go of what her father gave she felt like a disrespectful child, an unappreciative one.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He raised his brow – she had fronted a near impossible question to answer in a positive way. But he was never one to mince words.

"If your family has driven you to that point, and you feel you need to cross over, then that is where your destiny lies and nobody can stop you. But I will say this – everyone has a choice. Everyone.”

Connor turned and paced some more in the opposite direction.

"And I don’t ever have time for dessert. Dinner is just fine.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

"I have asked that question about dessert to many people and many of them answer either I do not have time, or I wait to see if I am full, or dessert does not interest me. But Connor" Ok his name was coming out a bit easier now, "Dessert is the same as life. If you do not take time to experience something sweet, dessert shouldn't be the reward for finishing a meal, or having room for it, or even being in the mood. Dessert is the wonder. I think you have just said to me that you do not stop to look at life for the wonder it is. And I while I maybe confused about who I am or what I am I know one thing, Life is a banquet and dessert should always be first."

Bella watched him she didn't know if he understood and she didn't know if he would take anything that a sith said as credible, "I guess i have choice on what I am and you may not understand my reasoning for things. But I do not believe myself to be evil, or power hungry, or actively seek to hurt others I have hurt others I am not proud of that, nor do I trumpet it around. Do you think there is good in me?"

Jedi are rumored to be able to feel goodness in others, did he feel something in here, was it worth pursuing this train of thought that was slowly seeping out.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Was this some Sith method of seduction? Try to get under his skin? Make him feel a little uncomfortable? Probably not, but he hadn’t talked to anyone about the sweeter things in life for months, let alone be it with an attractive Sith.

Straightening his back, he walked to the shield, a wafer-thin energy field dividing them, impenetrable and protected from minor blasts and hits. Connor looked at her, pondering her question. Reading the expression on her face; eyes, mouth, the upturn of the lips; then, her physical stance.

"I think there is, but you’re fighting it and you’re not ready to let it be found. I think you want to live a different life to what you know now, but you’re too scared to sever your ties with the Sith in your blood to do so.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]

 

[Arabella Darkhold]

She had his attention and he was coming back towards her looking at her looking within her trying to sense the good perhaps, "If I admit that you are right, will you admit that I am about you?" It wasn't meant to be seduction it was meant as an observation based upon the answer to a single question. She had to admit that she found it sad that so many did not take time for the other things in life.

His gaze was intense it was boring into her trying to read her, understand perhaps. What did he see?

Still it was a simple question, and one she viewed as them coming to an understanding.

Would either of them budge on their position and could this moment create the hinge for decisions.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a nod, Connor admitted her observation.

"Yes, you’re right. I rarely see the positive sides to life now, and when I do there is always a shadow hanging over it so it pays to be cautious, keep the guard up, be detached. That way you can do the things others can’t.”

[member="Arabella Darkhold"]