Wait, Fire... Tornado!?
p5
No. It wasn't so much a real title as it was a wild exclamation. Karen even threw off her broken helmet and stood up to decry it,
"What? A tornado.
Made of fire. Oh... For the love of the Gods... Why? Why Anna? Whyyy?"
"Master Roberts
please? Hold still?"
Anna stood up and held the scanner against Ol' Blues feverish head. Doing her best to play medic as R2 and T9 conversed nearer her ship. Alas, Karen was proving to be an unruly patient at best.
"Do you see that. Do you see that. ...Ha! That's the definition of overkill. Overkill, you hear me. ...Ridiculous. Bah. Fire tornado my arse."
"Yes Master Roberts. But please, do try to hold still. It's called a concussion for a reason. You're feeling woozy from all the stims I just... No no no. Wait. Please. Karennn."
"Damn my head girl. Bah. ...Who did it, hmm? Was it Harrison? Did he voodoo up a fire tornado this time. I swear to Zeus almighty... That magi is nothing but trwuble. Trwuble? My thouth? Why is my mowth not working? Anna. Anna pweth. Stwap."
"No. No. Master Roberts please. Just relax okay. You've received a blow to the head in a plane crash. I'm just... Trying... To... Help.
Hold still damn it!"
Anna was desperate to try and help the poor ranting woman before her. If not out of charity then out of admiration. But, ugh. She was stomping around like a lunatic. How can one treat a patient in all this dust and fever. Dash it all. Karen stopped her pacing just long enough to look back at the flaming pyre. Pouting like a teenager at it's writhing brilliance. Her lips regaining their momentum again,
"Bah. I could conjurer a fire tornado too, ya know. I could... I really could. A big one. Oh yes... Bigger than Conner's tornado, that's for sure."
"Yes yes. I'm sure. ...Now, ugh. Okayyy. Anddd. There! Ha. Haha! Got it. I got it. Yes yes yes. Ahhh... All finished. Good grief that took forever. Thank the Goddess."
Anna sighed as the concussion bandage was finally applied. Good. Now it could do it's job. Whoosh. Okay. Now all she had to do was get Karen back to medical and wait for the ADS stims to wear off. A task that... Well. Was probably going to be harder than it looked right now too.
"Okay Karen. You're all patched up now. Time to go."
"What!?
Go? ...Nonsense girl. We've a battle to win, dash-it-all. You don't think that flaming tornado and endless rumbling of explosions is just for show, do you?"
"Yes. I know. But Master Roberts please. See reason. Look at yourself. You've been shot down. You're ship is in tatters. R2 is... wait... wait... No. NO! ...R2-D0! You karking fastbender!"
~ Woop? ...Uhoo Ooo! ~
Anna practically screamed across the desert grass at what she saw before her. R2-D0 was "smooching" on her Astromech droid, T9. Her droid.
HER Droid!
"No no no no no. R2-D0! You get down from that X-Wing this minute buster! ...Karen! ...Karen do something!"
Roberts could only blink her eyes a few times and dazzle at the drugs running through her system. What was 'tripping balls' again, doctor?,
"Ohhh... It's fine dear. It's fine... R2 always uses an ionized uplink-cap when he links with foreign integration systems. ...No no. Yes yes. They'll be fine. Really? And besides Anna. My little mermaid you. Besides? ...What's wrong with a little love blossoming on the battlefield anyway. I think it's wonderful. I'm happy for them, ya know. Oh yes. Mmm hmm. You know what they say Apprentice. All's fair in love and war. ...Ohhh. But my head? What did you stick
me with anyway back there anyways? Ugh... The drugs dear girl. And the noises. And the fire tornado of doom. Ohhh. Bah... I hate it all. Make the world stop spinning please. Ugh..."
Karen didn't stop mumbling. She just wanted to get off the roller coaster now, please,
*sigh*
...
Anna however. Was furious.
Furious! ...Fury-E-Us and raging! Aggh! Already the small scales on her fishy shoulders were beginning to flake off from the stress of having to handle TWO, (not one,) but two misfits, all at once. Yep. Twinners. A promiscuous droid rebel and his incompetent drugged-up, blue-haired Master. Arragghhh! Whyyy! ...And now T9 was practically swooning! Swooning! No. No no no no no. Stawp! Stop stop stop. Stop this insanity this instant!
"Aggh! Karen!.."
"Yesh?"
"Ship. Now!"
"
Okay."
"R2! T9! Down girl. Down. Bad droids. Bad!"
~ Wip woop? ~
~ Dwooooo ~
No. What followed was
not a pretty picture.
...
Alas and finally. Anna would scream and yell for the next fifteen minutes. Doing her Gods'all bestest to get all these mental morons strapped in to her X-Wing and ready for a ride back to base. Then, punching her engines into overdrive, she took of for the nearest SSC space station overhead.
Her cargo: One drugged up Peacock Master and two binary-linked love-birds. Ugh... Worst, /rescue, /mission, /ever.
...Now that's, a Pity.