Take Two

[Jsc]

DAS

Today the simulation was different. Black sands and volcanic rocks littered the island. Fountains of red molten rock gushed forth from the black hills and formed tiny rivers of lava all around. Sprouting mists of steam and boiling water as they trickled into the salt sea. Oh no. Today the simulation was very different. Today they would be standing on the coastlines of Sullust. Underneath an endless blue sky.

Roberts was dressed the same as last week. Bodysuit overlayed with a brown shearling leather jacket. Designer combat boots and gloves. Standing in the middle of the ebony wastes and looking up at the sky. Waiting for [member="Cloudburner"] to arrive and rezz himself into the holographic field.

They had more training to discuss.

 

[Cloudburner]

"Hello, Master. I have been looking forward to seeing you. I changed my life. I am no longer a General Of War, but a Peace-seeker. The Force has transformed me for the better."

He walked upon his master with a grin while wearing his Jedi robes.

"So what are we going to be learning today, Master?"

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

Karen only raised an eyebrow.

"Apprentice. Let us not fool one another. One doesn't reforge their entire life in only a week or simply with a change of new clothes. One changes their life by living it. You still need time to prove that."

Honesty was a virtue and a privilege. Roberts did not have time for false praise. If her Apprentice was going to change his life? He needed to show it. Not speak it.

"Now. Moving on. It has been eight days since we last saw each other. So tell me. How have your meditations been?"

[member="Cloudburner"]

 

[Cloudburner]

"I have tried to meditate, but my dark thoughts seem to cloud the meditation. Once I break free of these chains holding me down and tempting me to the Dark Side, then I will meditate more often, Master."

He felt like he did not praise the Force enough, like he was somehow, not fit to become a Jedi. He wanted to, hopefully it would shape his mentality for the better, but it was difficult.

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

Karen nodded. [member="Cloudburner"] was a soldier. It would take years for him to master these thoughts. That was normal.

"Meditation is the art of letting these Dark Thoughts pass out of your system. You should meditate often to relieve yourself of them. Not, because you fear they will interfere. This anxiety is not necessary. The Force will set you free."

She paused to consider before speaking again.

"Tell me then. What are these troublesome thoughts you entertain? Speak them out loud that the world might see them in the light. Speak them willing that we might wash them away together. Such is the way of the Jedi Knight. Honesty. With self."

 

[Cloudburner]

"I fear that my enemies from my past life will hunt me down. I fear of all the innocent people I have killed. I fear death, not of those around me, but of myself. I fear not heroic death, but of a coward's death. The degradation of death."

He then centered his eyes upon the floor.

"Master, I will divide myself from this. The Dark Side will not take me. The Force will develop me into a strong Jedi warrior."

His emotions persuaded him to the Dark Side, through his mental strength he overcame these emotions, but they would continue to plague him for a long time.

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

Interesting. Much fear I sense in him. ...Fear. Fear which leads to the Dark Side of the Force. Karen did not reply for a very long time after [member="Cloudburner"] had finished speaking. Much fear she sensed in him.

"Apprentice. It is not the Force which shall reforge you. It is yourself. Only you can choose. Only you can define your actions. There is no mystic energy field which controls you. Light... Or Dark... This choice is yours alone to make. Never forget that."

Jedi do not believe in Fate. There is only choice.

"Now. Let us talk of this death which plaques you? ...What is this... Coward's death? What is this... Heroic death? For a true Jedi student believes in neither. Therefore. Of what do you speak? Can you explain this to me?"

 

[Cloudburner]

"I have a bounty upon my head. Dead or Alive. The dead part being that I have my head taken to the crime lord, and the alive part being, unexplainable things. I will try talking things out with the Crime Lord. He wants me dead after I was drunk and shot at a guy who was hitting on his daughter. I do not want this to happen to me."

The truth had been exposed. He had hoped that the Master would comfort him and not think of him as some sort of monster.

"Once I train harder, release my emotion, then I will confront him, Master."

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

It was a big galaxy. Still, these things happen.

"Erm. Right. Ya know. I might recommend that you simply pay off the bounty anonymously. ...Always worked for me."

She couldn't help but shrug. It was amazing how fast bounties go away when you just pay them off yourself.

"Also. You didn't answer my question. Why do you fear a coward's death?"

Part of training wasn't just learning magical powers. It was overcoming your own personal boundaries and embracing higher truths. Training was as much about gaining, as it was about letting go. Something [member="Cloudburner"] had only begun to understand.

 

[Cloudburner]

"I want to die heroically. With meaning to my death. Dying for my fellow Jedi or dying for my loved ones. Not getting that satisfaction after I die is unacceptable to me."

He felt sorrow, as all this talk of death had made him depressed.

"Master, I want to die for someone I love. Someone I care for. Someone related to me in some way. Not have an insignificant death by the hands of some bounty hunter."

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

Oh man. Now this guy was sounding nuts'o.

"Um. Have you even thought about... Maybe, just... Not dying?"

She opened her arms as if to ask the question to the universe.

"Apprentice. There is no "dying heroically". So... What on earth gave you this crazy idea anyway?"

After all. The mark of an immature man is that he believes he must die for his cause. Rather. The mark a wise man is that he is willing to live humbly for it instead. Perhaps this was a quote that [member="Cloudburner"] had yet to hear for himself.

 

[Cloudburner]

He sensed the amount of disappointment in his master. He fell to his knees.

"I'm sorry, Master. It's just my family and the soldier mentality kicking in there."

He felt disappointed too, as he had not have the mental strength to become a Jedi.

"I am going to die sometime, master. Either by the end of a lightsaber or a blaster. I have prepared myself for this."

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

Mentality. Yes, indeed. Mentality was all it was. Nothing more.

"Apprentice. A wise woman once said: A great many of the truths we hold on too so dearly, rely simply upon our point of view."

She smiled. The beauty of Jedi training was seeing the truth for what it was. Simplicity.

"Perhaps all you simply have to do to release yourself of your anxiety is to let go of your past. To just, let go of your soldierly mentality. To just. Let go of your presupposed, honor. Let go of your assumed, duty. ...Mm. Perhaps it is time to give up this, false heroism too. And just, live in the present. Live simply."

The volcano's of Sullust continued their steaming reply as Karen paused for [member="Cloudburner"] to return to his feet. Then she smiled and began again,

"Apprentice. Say it with me. Say aloud what I am about say: ...I Cloudburner. I forsake my old life and do now begin again. I forsake my honor, my duty, my death, and my heroism alike. The Force is my foundation. The Force shall set me free. ...Say that Apprentice. And let go of everything you hope to lose."

 

[Cloudburner]

He hesitantly lifted himself up onto his feet.

"I Cloudburner. I forsake my old life and do begin again. I forsake my honor,my duty,my death and my heroism alike. The force shall set me free."

He was afraid of losing his honor and his meaning to an entity that had protected him all his life, but he did it for the cause. He felt he belonged there.

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

Karen waited a moment. Letting the pale silence say what small words could not. Then. After the moment had passed. She nodded.

"Now. Tell me what you fear."

Let go Luke.

"Tell me what still haunts you."

Reach out with your feelings. You know what to be true.

"Tell me what you fear. That you keep only for yourself."

Tell me about the Dark.

[member="Cloudburner"]

 

[Cloudburner]

"I fear death of myself and loved ones."

He was broken, the Force has manifested itself into his mentality, letting him let go of all his wildest fears, his hatred.

"I feel better, Master. More confident in myself now. I now know that all the things that I get myself Into will be sorted, that through death, only life can be achieved, that it is not to aim for victory, but to aim for a passive, peaceful way of life, master."

His grin returned, his plagues, cured and his spirit cleaned.

[member="Karen Roberts"]

 

[Jsc]

For now, perhaps.

Karen looked upon her student again. Sensing. Feeling. Watching him experience change. It was good for him. It was like growing up.

"Alright then. Enough training for one day. I've tortured you enough. Hehe. ...Mm. So. Your homework this week is to go home and eat three fantastic meals. Not just good meals either. I mean, fantastic! At least three really really great meals. Hehe. Okay?"

She smiled and walked around the black rocks. Happy at the thoughts of great food and good living.

"That's it. Just meditate when you feel bad and aim to eat some of the best food of your life this week. ...Then? Next Saturday I promise we'll come back here and learn some real space magic. For reals."

Karen stopped and turned to give her Apprentice a fine bow. Rising back to close.

"Well done today Apprentice. I foresee you becoming a firm and strong Jedi Knight one day. Keep up the good work. ...Until next week then. Enjoy."

[member="Cloudburner"]

 

[Cloudburner]

"Thank you, Master. I won't fail you."

Cloudburner then left the building and walked away. He was happy he was one step closer to becoming a Jedi Knight.

 

[Jsc]

DAS
One week later

The simulations remained dormant today. Karen simply stood nearer the east doors of the giant science arena and waited for [member="Cloudburner"] to arrive once more. Today they would begin his swordsmanship training in preparation for even greater things. As such, Karen had brought a large black duffle bag with all the ingredients. They could get started with gusto.

As her student entered the room, she smiled and gave a bow.

"Welcome back Apprentice. I trust the week has found you well. ...Tell me? How did your homework go?"

 

[Cloudburner]

"Well, Master. I have connected with the Force way better than the previous week. I no longer value life, I cherish it."

He bowed to his Master and gave a glorious smile.

"Thank you my Master. You have transformed me into a better and more thankful person than I was previously."

[member="Karen Roberts"]