Gravity

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus chuckled at that. His line of thinking followed her own, driven by a cherished memory of that small cabin in the Quin. Not that small, he reflected now as he soared a glance for the close in walls.

“I'd offer to get some of the tension out of your back, but…” he held up his wrapped hands and offered an apologetic shrug. “Come back in here then,” he offered with arms wide to wrap around her.

Having her fall asleep lying across his chest, maybe letting her fingers trace those little doodles over him on the way, would be one of the most welcome things right now. To feel the tempo of her breathing slow until she melted into him. All soft and warm.

It would be nice to wake up in slow stages, awareness growing of her tucked into his arms. Better that than rudely woken by an alarm. Then rudely shoved out the door. She hadn't even managed to mentally confront that reality to the point of apologising, he realised.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It was strange to see him so. As if he were stepping out of one of many daydreams in the past. Arms wide open, that crooked smile, the light that shone in his eyes. A dream of a dream that had not been a tangible reality for the Lorrdian. She'd long since convinced herself that she would not be a part of Asmus’ life and that she'd not see him again.

Funny how things worked.

Now there he was, offering her a place to settle against with. Would she be able to do it? Stars, she really wanted to. Against her better judgement, Kaile did exactly that.

“Okay.”

After studying him for a few moments, the brunette slowly shifted on the bed. Leaning back towards him, Kaile felt the warmth of his arms surround her again. For a brief moment she indulged. The forgotten datapad cradled in her hands, her hair close enough to tickle Asmus’ face as she settled in close.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Good, I don't think there are Reavers in this one so I would have been out if an excuse for a while,” he whispered.

As ever his instinct was to talk. He would have tried to explain how many times he had hoped to see her just once more. How this perfectly ordinary scene was so utterly perfect.

She might even have agreed. But he also knew it would have scared her. It wasn't worth the risk of her making a hasty exit. Not again. Not when he would be content to stay exactly where he was for hours. Even if it wasn't as comfortable as it first seemed and some extremity ended up going numb, he wouldn't complain.

Out of sight he closed his eyes and listened to the show. Their voices barely registered over the sound of her breathing.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


A gentle press of her thumb against the display prompted the episode to begin. However, Kaile wasn’t paying too much attention to the opening credits. Instead she was focusing on the sensation of having Asmus’ arms around her. Much like the Wraith, the lorrdian shut her eyes and simply enjoyed the moment. In her mind she burned this into memory, searing it so she could take a mental picture and keep it with her always.

There were few precious memories that Kaile cherished; few that she ever indulged with. It was nice. It felt safe. In the black she spent so much time working one mission to the next that the espion hadn’t allowed herself recently any sort of connections. Brief encounters yes, but nothing like this. Nothing like how she’d dreamed she’d be able to make alongside Asmus again.

Kaile knew it would have to end, her mind telling her that it wouldn’t last. But oh how much she just really wanted to linger so.

Even if it was for a few hours, just like this, with the warmth of his embrace and even the slight caf scented bacta, it was enough.

 

[Asmus Janes]

It was half way through the episode that the battle became more difficult. He could just pull back her hair press his lips to…

“I remember when we looked at ball gowns,” he said. Dangerous territory, but talking was safer for now. “We'd look good together at a ball.”

He entertained the notion inside his own head. Would he wear his formal dress uniform now? Probably not given his new position. They could go shopping together and pick out matching outfits. His family back home was merchant class, not nobility. They went shopping for themselves, there was a great stigma about acting too much like the nobility whilst showing off wealth.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“Hmm?” it was hard to focus on the actual words Asmus’ said due to the fact that his mouth was just shy of a few inches from her ear. He spoke low, the flow of words evoking both a soothing and stimulating ticklish wave from her neck all the way down to her toes.

She was so highly attuned to his motions and every move, that even the slight fan of his breath upon her hair gave her shivers. It both shot warm tingles of awareness as it made her desire more. All I have to do is brush my hair out of the way and…

Her lashes rose to a half slit, barely registering the voices of the upcoming scuffle between the lead actor and the Companion’s beau. Asmus passing commentary brought back a series of images. Talking about balls and ball gowns. Dancing. The Quin and the cargo hold. The way he had pinned me against the storage container and kissed me senseless…

Swallowing hard, Kaile shifted within his grasp trying to wipe away those memories. Of course, the mention of how good they’d look together at a ball brought back another image; the one where Asmus had been in his dress uniform on Sullust years back for the Alliance fundraiser. How she’d zoomed in using the holocameras to watch him unnoticed. How he seemed to have been having a great ol time and how dashing he looked in his uniform.

“Heh… well balls come few and far between.” was all she could really say. Any more and they’d go down that Lepi hole she’d been trying to avoid. The one that only lead to her wanting things she couldn’t have and a whole bunch of heartache. The now was okay. That was safe. Later on though…

Things would change.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Even that seemingly innocuous topic was avoided. He could almost feel her wiggling about within her own skin. It was just like back on the Quin on the very last day. Those times connected across the gulf in between. She knew she'd be back undercover or on missions before too long. She was steeling herself for leaving again.

Asmus thought on this. He stood by those last words they'd shared. It had hurt. But he would take that pain and make it worse with every passing day. A cost he was willing to pay.

But was she?

It had hurt her too. But she was here knowing that. Perhaps he could convince her that they didn't need to draw a line under this when she left the ship this time? No, he couldn't convince her. But he could let her convince herself.

Sitting here, staring at the point where her neck met her shoulder wasn't helping. If he kept his focus there he'd end up doing something rash.

“Maybe when this resistance becomes a real war we'll be able to join the Alliance shindigs again.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“Wars rarely have any time for celebrations, Asmus.” Kaile said quietly. He should know well enough with the One Sith War, the Vangard, The First Order… it didn’t matter with whom, there was always one other mission, one other battle, or some other item that required intel.

The sudden wallop of a punch begin given to the dandy that had insulted the Companion brought a half chuckle out of Kaile. This was a fun part. Not as fun as when the Companion attempted to teach the Captain how to fence, but still funny nonetheless. It also provided a bit of a distraction from the internal somberness and the slight flex of Asmus’ arms around her. He was just as ansty as me, she mused, feeling the odd curl and uncurl of his fingers. They were almost like hers, only she was keeping her hands busy by playing with his datapad.

“Though they sure do look like they are having fun,” there was the faintest tone of wistfulness in her voice as the scene progressed. “Least until the fistfight.” a spare brush of the back of her fingers swept her bangs away from her face.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“It's not a good ball unless there's some handbags. Back on Eriadu it was usually the younger sons of the merchant families.” Not Asmus though, at least not often. He was a lover, not a fighter.

“And not everything stops for the war. We still get leave. One day I might apply for one if the test pilot positions back on Eriadu, or as a trainer. Mostly work out of one base, have a house and all that.”

He was holding her breath. Looking at that spot he wanted to bring his lips to.

“If you had leave and I invited you to a shindig on Eriadu would you come? Promise I wouldn't start a duel over you.” He tried to keep the tone light-hearted. Just a silly question as they watched a silly show.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


It was a bit idyllic, the mental scene Asmus was painting for himself. Maybe a little naive. That thought prompted Kaile to pause. When did I become so cynical? In the past she had been such a bubble of joy and good cheer. It had often been said that it would be nigh impossible for Kaile to lose her cheerfulness. Perhaps time and mission after mission had worked its toil. Or maybe Kaile had managed to section just a small part of herself off to prevent the hurt.

No, thinking back on it, it wasn’t that Kaile was cynical. She still had a good time with friends when she managed to see them. She was still social and enjoyed a good laugh. The problem was that she drowned herself into her work after her miscarriage. Did everything she could to try and dull the pain. Half the time she wondered if it had been something she’d done, or some small fault of hers that caused it to happen. What could I have done differently?

Swallowing hard, the Lorrdian gave an awkward smile. One that wasn’t too sure of just how to answer that.

“I can’t right say nor answer that right now.” it was as honest of an answer as she could give him. Kaile didn’t know.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Alright,” Asmus replied quietly. He didn't expect any more than that really. It would have been a nice fantasy to entertain, but things weren't what they were. But he wasn't sure why. Was everything so difficult? It seemed simple to him that the world they both inhabited now meant she would see there was no need to run and hide. But he had grown an awareness over the last few years. An awareness that most people didn't see the world quite as simply as Asmus Janes.

Instead he indulged in an entirely different way. It took every ounce of willpower not to kiss her on the way, but he drew her in closer and scooted tighter. His jaw was just an inch over her shoulder now. She would hear every breath.

She would certainly notice that he turned to regard her profile for a few seconds before turning back to the show.

He chuckled at several jokes, trying not to outright laugh in her ear with her pressed to his chest.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It bothered him. The answer she gave. Well, not as much bothered him as it did make him mull over things. Kaile could figure that much from his body language. From the shift he made to the slight tightening of his fingers. However, that concern fell to the wayside when Asmus drew her in closer into his embrace.

Now it was really difficult to concentrate on the show. Every draw in and out of his breath fanned more of her hair right by her ear, the warmth of it flowing over her down to the almost husky sound of his laugh. Immediate awareness came to Kaile. From where her back was pressed against his chest, to where his arms settled around her body, to the way it seemed that the temperature kicked up a few notches.

Her breathing sped up, and another wave of warmth swept over her from the top of her head to her toes. Blinking rapidly, Kaile attempted to focus on the episode. What was going on again? Ah, right the lead up to the fencing fight. The two main characters always had such an interesting tension that bounced back and forth to the will they or won’t they. But then he would open up his mouth and say the stupidest things; like calling the Companion a ‘whore’.

Soon enough they had their own tiff that had the Companion leaving the Captain behind.

“He always says the worst things at times.”

 

[Asmus Janes]

She'd feel him tense up at that. He thought back to when they'd decided - for some reason - to share a sonic. The way she'd visibly trembled at his casual admission.

“Some folk speak a little too easily,” he said. An amused snort followed. He could at least see the funny side. After time that came to mind they'd made up in fairly short order. He had never insulted her though, he hoped as he tried to think of an occasion when he might have done so. What he tended to do was put his heart out on his sleeve.

Asmus was hit by a small revelation. It troubled her because it was a mirror to what she didn't want to admit to herself.

“Some folk are just rude though. And some struggle to admit things to themselves, let alone say them out loud.”

It would have been effortlessly to blurt something out then. Breathe it softly right into her ear.

“Others just need to recognise when something is understood and doesn't need to be said out loud.” Like making her admit she had missed him. Perhaps that had been cruel. He gave a gentle squeeze as way of apology.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

That hit close to home. It was true. Some folk can say things easy. Others just struggle with coming to terms with things themselves, let alone voice them aloud. And then there were the times where no words needed to be said. For Kaile, as a Lorrdian, this was likely the most important method of communication for her. At her core, she didn’t need words to say what she felt or thought, it had a knack of coming out anyways if she didn’t pay attention to it.

All too easy would anyone well versed in kinetic communication be able to tell just what was going on with a frazzled Kaile. LIke the fact that she was head over heels in love with the Wraith, but was unable to do much about it due to some ingrained sense that she was being the responsible one. The series of events that came to be in the past made it so that the espion was hesitant at getting close to anyone. Her job didn’t give her the luxury to be able to lead a normal life; that had been proven years ago. Indulging in the now, even though she knew it was going to be all the more painful when she left, was as far as her mind was willing to go.

“Yeah…” she finally said, although Kaile had shut her eyes for a moment when Asmus had tighten his grip gently around her. It was an apology. In turn, the brunette set her own hand over his forearm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus caught himself opening his mouth to say something else. He closed it again promptly. Too easy to say things out loud. Too easy to say more than she needed, or wanted, to hear. She wouldn't see the smile when she squeezed his arm back, but she would feel it. He was still blissfully unaware of why body language and touch worked so much better between them.

Staying silent for a while, he considered the duel. There had been nobles back on Eriadu who studied swordplay. The merchants of course saw this as further proof that they were indolent, decedent fools who inherited rather than earned their money. No one who worked for their business properly had time for playing with rapiers.

Then of course there were the Jedi. Asmus had even seen some from a distance now. Just blue and green flashes down on the landscape. He'd seen one pull a TIE fighter out of the air. Awesome power.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Things were quiet again, but they were far from being silent. No, things were expressed between them through the way that Kaile didn’t pull her hand away from his forearm. Or the fact that the Lorrdian didn’t draw away from his embrace. Instead, the brunette seemed to slowly melt into his arms, becoming more pliant like wax to the flame.

There was comfort in this. Enough that Kaile kept a half eye on the show and the other drew in and focused her senses just on Asmus himself. At the way she felt his chest slowly rise and fall with every breath he took. How his body gently shook when he found something amusing but tried to not laugh too hard against her ear. The way that he would slightly tense in alertness then relax when a particularly interesting scene during the duel came about.

Like when he would talk fifty parsecs a minute, so would he continue to do so when he said nothing at all. Kaile would doubt that there would ever be a time where Asmus would not be able to fully contain himself and keep his emotions hidden. No, everything was there on his sleeve. Even time had not changed that. Perhaps a little more experienced and a bit more restraint, but it was there.

By the time the end of the fight rolled about, Kaile was amused. “Reckon you’d know more if these duels hold some truth in ‘em?” that was a reference to his upbringing. For Kaile, this was just all show. At least, a duel for these specific circumstances. A duel was altogether different than a real fight.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Alright so don't tell anyone I said this but the noble families on Eriadu aren't actually that bad. Eriadu has always been about economy and whilst the merchant class sees the ruling families and their relatives as workshy old money, they wouldn't still be there if they couldn't keep their wealth with merchants snapping at their heels.

“Now your Tapani noble is a different matter. We had one on Eriadu. Wasn't well bred enough for our nobles to lavished us with his company. Insisted on wearing a rapier at his belt and kept trying to challenge people to duels. Some big brute offered him fists and he went rather pale and left.”

Asmus leaned forwards enough to see the time displayed on the datapad. It would still be fairly busy down in the mess.

“One more before we go and get food?”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]



Hearing him describe the differences was fascinating. It was a completely different world for her. His story about the Tapani noble made her smirk, lips twitching at the mental image.

“Reckon anyone would,” she said in reference to leaving once someone offered a fisty cuff fight. That amused thought froze in place as when she was about to turn to glance at him, he drew close to lean over her shoulder. When he mentioned one more episode before dinner, all thoughts fled as his face was but a few inches from her own. Her heart skipped a beat.

He was close enough to see the gold flecks in his green eyes again. Those gorgeous eyes framed by a thick fringe of lashes any girl would envy. But it wasn't just his looks that had her breathless. No, it was more than that. It was the pressing need itching at the back of her mind that wanted him desperately for her own. To have and hold. To cling close and hold tight. It was more than a physical need; in the past when she'd first met him she'd only wanted a warm body to lose herself in.

This time anyone wouldn't do; hadn't really. Kaile had simply wanted Asmus.

Unable to help herself, Kaile found her lips suddenly dry. The pink tip of her tongue went darting out to provide brief moisture in a sweep over her lips.

Kissing him would be easy. Just a scant few inches. It's the stopping that would be the hardest. Kaile wanted to kiss him; the expression in her eyes and the way they darkened further said that. So there they were, basically sharing their breath for a moment before Kaile quietly replied, “Okay.”

But one would wonder if that was all it meant.

 

[Asmus Janes]

The Tupin family were known as down to the ground people. Well rounded characters who enjoyed a drink and loud conversation that always seemed to verge on argument. Asmus had been about to explain what a burly youth young Brash Tupin had been and describe in greater detail how the Tapani Rake had gone particularly pale - as Asmus did love to embellish stories - when he had everything swept out from beneath him.

No Lorrdian heritage was required. The way her tongue ran over full lips, how her pupils dilated within wide, hazel eyes. He intrinsically knew what she was thinking. He had no purchase to cling to any longer. The show had stopped, he had no stories left in his head, no stupid admissions to blurt out. In the absence of any of these there was nothing to do but succumb to gravity.

His hands had wrapped almost benignly around her. An embrace that could have been between friends or family. But as he shifted his position slightly the flat of one palm came to rest over her midriff. He could feel her warmth through the fabric of her shirt. An intimate contact and one which could be changed very easily to more.

“Yeah,” he echoed back. His whole head tilted back and forth a small amount as he prepared to move. No more warnings came from the back of his mind, that voice had fallen silent.

The inexorable pull brought them together. Lids fell half shut as he closed the remaining inches. Just a brief, delicate kiss on the lips. Testing, but he also made no move to retreat and reflect. Kaile was too close, his heart drowning out any thoughts or concerns with its rapid beating.

A few days ago he would never have considered that weight could have been lifted. To find out that she hadn’t left for any malicious reasons, to have an idea of where she had been these years. To know that she had missed him dearly and still wanted him, even if she struggled to face up to that reality.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It was as if all sounds ceased and their heartbeats increased.

Kaile’s mind was so flooded from missing Asmus for all those years that when he first tentatively brushed his lips upon hers, she couldn’t help but tremble. Truth was, she stopped listening or caring about the next episode. Her mind was somewhere else.

There were so many things that the Lorrdian wanted to say, but couldn’t. As he’d said before, there are just some folk who struggle with wording aloud what the heart wants in conflict of the mind. Her lids automatically fell shut, and she cherished that lingering contact. Her exhales were mixing with his deep inhales, and as both their bodies shook in each other’s hold, Kaile tipped her head up and leaned in.

Maybe that was just the fact of it. Minds got in the way and rationality made it all complicated. In the end, one can’t hide the responses a body makes. From the way Kaile’s palms came up to rest against the fabric of his vest, to the slight strangled sound of a deep inhale through the nostrils in need. Not of lust, although there was no denying that Asmus made her tingle and warm in all the right places, but the sheer necessity of needing him close. Of wanting to almost crawl under his skin, hold him as tight as she could and never let him go.

And as Kaile parted her lips to kiss him so, she was reminded of the yesterdays that had set her ‘verse on fire.