Gravity

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus feigned a pout before looking back to watch the last of the show. “I wasn’t suggesting we didn’t make it a habit…” he replied, tailing off at the end. As he rolled back his hand sought hers out again, making it perfectly clear that he wasn't letting go just yet.

At some point she would leave this ship and they would have to go through the stress of deciding what happened next. That, he knew, would be mostly down to Kaile. She couldn't exactly keep him out of harm's way just by avoiding him. No point concerning himself with it yet.

“I was just thinking we shouldn't be too, you know, obvious and start tongues going. You know what I mean. You could come back over after early night shift is over if you wanted.”

She would feel the sudden wave of tension through just his hand as he stiffened up. He hadn't really intended to ask that question. Because it had a very specific meaning. Will you spend the night?

Damnit.

He couldn't just go and take it back now. He could try and temper the remark. There was no point, he decided. Just had to leave it and try to soothe any anxiety it caused.

What would I give up to be with her? The question shocked him. Of course he was aware of how much he was enjoying her company again, but he hadn't through to quantify that.

A lot. The answer was a lot.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It was hard see, to say anything different. To go and try and ignore what he meant. What went between the lines. Had someone in the past made a passing comment like that, Kaile would have jumped right on it. What's a little fun between long missions out? Everyone had to have some sort of way to pass the time. Finding mutual pleasure was just part of it.

However this was Asmus. Asmus. The one she'd fantesized about loving her for years. The one she'd dreamed sleepless nights and who would hold her close, rocking deep into her while he murmured huskily against her ear, calling our gee name and making her whitely hid in every imaginable way as possible. It was a temptation that was hard to resist.

She read through his sudden tension. Understood he immediately though that she'd back away scared. That she'd clam up, avoid the subject and move on. Yet how long could she stand being beside him, so close and so warm and seemingly engulfed by his scent. His presence. His smile.

Mouth dry, her throat bobbed. It made sense what he said. Not being seen. To kill the gossip. To avoid any other chance of tongues wagging

It sense seemed to jump out of the window then.

"Reckon then one should take advantage of the now then," it was as much of an invitation as a man would get.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus should have checked his chrono. They'd fallen asleep coiled up together after watching several episodes of a show just to keep the atmosphere calm. It had been so tumultuous since they'd found each other. Turning up late to the shift’s brief would be noticed, though not entirely out of character.

His jaw clenched shut as he drew in a sharp breath that felt cold over his back teeth. For a few moments he didn't roll up onto his side again. His grip on her hand tightened. Turning his head towards her, Asmus locked his gaze into her own. The golden flames were dim, hidden behind such a depth of raw longing. Raw. That's how everything felt. As if every touch, word or look elicited a hypersensitive reaction. She was under his skin again, filling his awareness, pushing everything else aside. Instead of being diminished by the passage of time the sudden reunion brought everything into clarity. Whilst at the same time nothing was clear. Like standing an inch in front of a stained glass window at dawn. Every colour clear, vying for attention. Overwhelming. Blinding. It would be some time before he could stand back, fully open his eyes and appreciate the whole thing.

No more words; he'd wasted too many already. Releasing her hand he rolled over onto his side and beyond. He planted one hand on the far side of Kaile, just inside her arm. His other hand subconsciously started to play with the hem of her shirt again. It has started her heart thumping when he'd loomed over her before just to fetch something. This time there was intent.

A pause, then a brief, delicate kiss. Right arm flexed to bring him back up a few inches to separate them. His eyes searching her own, looking to find that shared understanding. He wouldn't come back up again so easily. Gravity. It went the fastest acting force. But it would always win in the end.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Asmus parted his lips.

Kaile parted hers.

He leaned in.

So did she.

Once again the most delicate of kisses went pressing against hers, sending shivers down her spine as electric current seemed to dart through every nerve ending ad back. Lips barely lingered before Kaile felt him draw back, watching her from his hovering perch. Even in the dim light of the cabin, she could clearly see the gold flecks in his eyes seem to smolder within the darkening forests therein. He wanted her. It was etched in the angels of his face. In the growing turbulence of his eyes. In the way, his arms gave a slight quiver as he braced himself above her.

The dark forelocks of his hair tumbled down, casting a slight shadow just over his eyebrow. Kaile's breath caught and her chest rose with the spike of her breathing. The warmth of his fingers barely touched skin as his other hand found the hem of her shirt, belly quivering as anticipation rose like a cresting wave in a deep sea.

There was longing in her eyes. Such deep, anguished longing there. Among something else. A chaotic blend of emotions that was hard for the Lorrdian to even explain to herself. The fear that she might hurt him and the affection that was there. Kaile may not be able to say the words, but it was there. A person didn't simply fall in love. They dissolved into it. One day you were ice, the next day, a puddle.

There was so much she wanted to do. To lean in and wrap her arms around him. To tug him down, trace her lips across the stubble of his jaw and down his neck. To feel the staccato beats of his heart against her own. Kaile wanted all that and more with the boy who had become the man, the one she had dissolved into.

"Kiss me again." she said, a breathy request amidst that ocean of longing. The gingerly slide of her fingertips gently came up to brush the short dark strands away from his brow. A mirror to the past even if it wasn't as long as before.

Kiss me twice.

Kiss me with all you got.

 

[Asmus Janes]

There was a pause, a brief one; her words were a welcome invitation he could not ignore. What crossed his face would have been missed by most, but never by her. His lips turned up in a smile that dimpled his cheeks. His eyes briefly turned down as if her request embarrassed him.

Then he closed his eyes and pushed every other sense to the background. All he wanted was the gentle caress of pressed lips and the warmth of her body moulding against his. Turning in, his mouth parted hers to kiss her deeply. One knee was pushed between her own as he lowered his weight upon her. He would be noticeably heavier than when they had last been pressed together so.

His left hand left the hem of her shirt, a slender strip of exposed flesh left in its wake. He placed his forearm along the bed beside her head, careful not to pin down her hair. Surrounding her, his weight against her. Parallels to that first night whilst also being entirely removed from that experience. No, it took him back to the small cabin on the Quin. The end of the waltz. When the rhythm of the dance had remained, but the music had changed its timbre. Would there always be such an undercurrent of anxiety?

“Kaile,” he whispered with a sharp intake of breath. Her name, how he had avoided saying it over the years. How it felt to breathe it out only for her to draw it in. Why were his feelings for her always accompanied by this possessiveness? Asmus could be a vain and occasionally jealous creature, but nothing had ever swelled within him like the pang he'd felt at the knowledge that Omar had been sniffing around. She wasn't something to be owned; he didn't hold to any outdated concepts that still existed in the galaxy.

But they could have each other.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

How she loved the sound of his voice. The still of the silence as he breathed out and she breathed in. Hovering over her like he did, it left her breathless. It made it seem as if they were two magnets just desperate to latch to one another, barely able to restrain oneself before slowly melding flesh together as one.

Asmus.

Just the sensation of his body sinking against her was enough to have Kaileann give a slight groan against his lips. He felt good. Soo good. Fingers took their own desires for their own and before she knew it, they went diving into the short inky locks of his hair. Kaile, her name a low supplication as much as a wretched need. It filled her eyes with moisture, the sound of him calling her name leaving his lips. How many times had she imagined it so? Had she’d let her mind wander as she replayed those memories on the Quinn over and over again.

That vest he wore did nothing to hide the bulkier mass that the pilot had gained over the years. Sinew and muscle flexing under the growing tension of bracing his arm just over her head. The pillow sank deeper, dark strands of dyed brown hair shifting over it as Kaile brought her mouth up, longing to taste him again and breathe him in.

They’d just done this not a few hours ago before passing out exhausted. A melding of tongues and tentative wanderings of their hands only to stop and curl up against one another. Both wishing they could control the thundering of their hearts as their bodies demanded a type of release that neither were sure was the right moment to cross. They had their flare of passion. Had been engulfed by the flames. Now it was a slow, stoking of embers one knee rose up and the Lorrdian cradled his leg between her own, back arching to press him closer than before.

Again. The word crossed in her mind, little notice that she’d said the single word aloud in turn.

Say it again. Call me by name. Hold me close.

 

[Asmus Janes]

They fell together.

In the dimly lit apartment they rekindled the connection that both had thought they had sought - and failed to find - in the intervening years. In the darkness their words were limited to soft murmurs as they expressed themselves more truly than they could with words. He ignored the hot sting of the burns and everything that wasn't her.

She knows you belong to her. She just can't bring herself to say it. But she's showing you now. Or is this just everything I wanted from her condensed into fantasy? he thought to himself.

One hand gripped her tight, feeling every movement through his palm. His other hand fisted the sheets beside her head, ignoring the hot sting of the burns. It was more of an anchor to reality than for purchase. She came from the recesses of his imagination. Warm, soft and welcoming, accepting him back into her life. She would steal his senses and take him away from this place. The sheets were cool and scratchy. Military standard discomfort. One hand took fantasy, the other took reality and he tried to pull the two together. To let this experience sink in. To force it to be real.

---

“Don't let me fall asleep,” he whispered, but his lips felt heavy and he slurred his words. If he had a regret now it was that they didn't have a full sleep cycle ahead of them. They could have stayed here, skin to skin, in peace. Just the quiet thrum of the engines that any spacer barely felt.


“Stay.” Whether it was question or demand, was referring to the present or had wider meaner was unclear. Just a simple word full of meaning right from the exposed core of his psyche as he fell into a half-sleep. They were good at those.



Stay.

A single word that often made Kaile wonder many a sleepless nights what would she have done if Asmus had said that at the end of their fourth day. Would I have stayed?

Curling up against him, Kaile’s breathing slowed and leveled out. As the Lorrdian drifted into unconsciousness with the heat of his body along her side she found that the answer lay within their silent embrace.

In the quiet, comforting warmth of her fingers lacing against his own.

The same question was approached by both as they drifted. Ever the optimist Asmus silently came to the conclusion that years lost could be made up for. Mistakes were lessons after all, not to get hung up on.


Buh-deep

“Nnng.”

The noise went away, but a little light on the datapad was blinking away. A lopsided grin appeared as he recalled them switching on the show. She'd laughed. The memory of that sound prompted a deep pang of affection. It was almost overwhelming as he drifted back into full consciousness.

A slow blink and a yawn. He mentally steeled himself for parting from her. He rolled to the side, exposed skin suddenly cool and clammy. He found the datapad. Kaile found and claimed him back. He was left lying on his back with datapad in hand, her leg and armed draped across him as she worked her face in against his neck.

Asmus chuckled. The noise would sound slightly strained.

Janes, you up? We've got a quick brief on the situation before our shift. Wilson.

“Ah feth, alright,” he mumbled. “Sorry Kaile,” he added ever so softly as he tried to work his way from her grip. No time left for a shower now. He was going to have to freshen up quick and move.

Kaile merely mumbled in her sleep, rolled onto her side and slept.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

With little regard for modesty - not that it mattered with Kaile sleeping so deeply - he made his way around the small cabin to get prepared. He very carefully slid the basin out from the wall and gave himself a perfunctory wash before getting himself into crumpled uniform. As long as he didn't meet the captain no one would mind. He was only going to get straight into his flight uniform anyway. They were going to be on high alert for the next few hours so likely holed up next to the flight deck.

Asmus kept his head down as he made his way into the locker room. Beneath the surface he was feeling almost distressed. Forced to peel himself from Kaile, where they'd be warm and comfortable beneath the sheets. Hadn't had time to shower, had to rush to get down for his duty shift. All three of his squad mates needed to suite up and be in alert.

Chad and Wilson were already there, stripped down to the waist with helmets sat atop neatly bundled flight uniforms. Asmus pressed his finger to his locker, a light winked orange and he tapped in his code before it went green and opened.

He could hear voices approaching, it sounded like the Ghosts were back. It was an odd arrangement. Each squadron, Wraith and Ghost was split across four ships. One Flight on each. Apparently it was to encourage friendly competition within each small ship.

Ro’vena and Delaney squeezed past in their flight uniforms to get to their lockers. Asmus had been about to ask the twi'lek how their flight had gone (it looked like they'd been launched) when Omar explained loudly from behind him.

“Sheesh. You reek of woman!”

Asmus shook his head and tried to shrug it off, but the routine continued. The Zeltron made a show of sniffing him. “Delaney, Delaney, come here! One day you'll smell this good when we finally make a man out of you!”

Asmus rounded on Omar, looking thoroughly unamused.

“Oi, frat boys! Enough!” Ro’vena called. Asmus opened his mouth to protest that he hadn't even been involved, but her expression suggested there would be no argument on the matter. After all it wouldn't be the first time she'd chastised the pair for inappropriate locker room conversation. She gave them one final glare and returned to stripping down.

There was an interesting tension there. Unlike the others she'd come from a basic maintenance position within the Alliance, with almost no education to her name. Story went she'd challenged a pilot to a sim battle and wiped the floor with him to earn her place in flight school. She was good, but Asmus' trio were the more skilled. She would always see the others as privileged, childish individuals at some level.

Everything fell quiet for a few moments before Omar piped up again: “Hey Ro, you know whiskey girl?”

“Yeah?”

No protest this time, Asmus noted. “Just not outside this room, understood?” They would all agree to such a restriction. They were their own tight-knit community within the ship. But Ro had suddenly taken an interest. Two long strides and she stood before him.

“Huh.”

“What?” Asmus asked in confusion. With a twirl of lekku she turned away again and went back to her locker, grabbing a towel for a post-flight shower.

“You’re an idiot Omar,” she laughed. “You think your nose knows the truth but you didn’t even see it in his eyes.”

Asmus let his head fall into his hands. It seemed he would be the topic of conversation for a while now. “Anything out there we need to be aware of?” he asked the twi’lek, trying to shift back to professional matters.

“Alright Janes,” she said in an apologetic tone, acknowledging his discomfort. “Nothing but an ion storm in a nearby nebula throwing some weird shapes over the tactical display. Looks like a clear run now so I’ll be surprised if they launch you. Odennus wants to give a brief in the flight control room. Apparently the Captain has taken the main briefing room.”

"Alright," Asmus replied. The life in the resistance wasn't for everyone. They had a good number of pilots, but less high quality naval officers who wanted to be out here. Odennus had almost been adopted by the squadrons. He was young, barely out of the academy with only a few years under his belt. Much like Asmus really. He wasn't the best Flight Group Commander and lacked confidence but his pilots all liked him. They worked together to keep the rotations, flight schemes and mission plans in order.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

While Omar was making a muck of himself, Chad zipped up his flight suit and curious studied the Wraith Commander. Last he'd seen him was at the kitchenette chasing the heels of the agent. By the look of things -- or scent as Omar so crudely put it -- things might have gone to his favor if Janes showed up in a rumpled uniform and needing washing.

Their eyes both met and a noticeable curious perk of both of Chad's eyebrows followed the recent gauze bandages wrapped around Asmus' hands.

Unfortunately he wasn't the only one who noticed.

"What happened to your hands there?" Delaney inquired with perplexed curiosity. A finger gestured towards Asmus while the rest began to funnel over towards the flight control room.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus let his head hang forwards, exaggerating his embarrassment for the pilots. Better to have them focus on this than more personal matters.

"I was trying to get through a door too quickly. You know how the boiler in the one room is so hot it burns all coffee and melts some cups? Well I'd just made a cup of caf with it."

"You idiot!" Omar laughed. But his interest had waned and he slipped out the door for the showers.

"You're alright to fly?" Wilson asked in a serious tone.

"If we have to fly, I'll fly." It would sting, but it wasn't going to stop him. He tucked his helmet under one arm and fled for Flight Control. It was a short walk, bringing them to the small room that overlooked the hangar. His lips twitched upwards as he saw his fighter down on the bay floor. Ghost's had been taken below.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

"Right then, Wraiths!" Odennus' voice howled over from the Flight control room, waving the four over so they could get on with the brief.

He could be a right cheerful fellow, if displaying a bit of a frazzeled look about him. His hair had a tendency of having a Nuna lick just along his right temple, which made it appear as of Odennus had just rolled out of bed. More aptly he'd been running his fingers through his hair some.

"Fancy seeing your mugs but better here than with the Captain I suppose." at the very least Odennus was the sort to be straight with you. He also had a sense of humor, which for Janes was a plus considering this was the Flight Group Commander.

"Make this quick." turning on the make-shift display for the squadron to see, Odennus began.

"Had an ion storm not too long back but clear now... "

"Made up with her then?" Chad's voice was low enough only for Asmus to hear. His eyes were focused on the display, arms crossed over his chest with his helmet hanging from his fingers. But Asmus would catch the rather curious glint there in Chad's eyes.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Despite his feeble attempt he wasn't able to keep the smile from his face. There was a quiet buzz as the flight control holo-emitted came to life and they were bathed in a dull orange glow.

"Yeah," Asmus replied. "And thanks, you were right to shove me out the door. Even if I took your advice and the chase a little too eagerly."

He looked down at his hands. Right was more painful than the left when he clenched them. Fortunately his flight stick was a very delicate control. The only real resistance he got from it was when the comouters were correcting his course.

"...we're keeping you all on high alert because if someone was going to try and ambush us before the next slow micro jump they would come from that storm."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


"Figured as much." Chad's reply came, although his own mind preoccupid itself on another woman; a redhead with a tendency at having her own fair share of grease marks over her face.

He'd gone on to see if he could catch her at the mess earlier, only to find out from one of the other crew that she'd pretty much sectioned herself off in the maintenance bay. Since the Bothan had mentioned Lucy had seemed a bit glum, Chad had wrestled with his own self whether or not he should go and find her.

Honestly, he half wondered if it was worth it. Despite everything, Lucy hadn't given him the time of day. Her focus was mainly on Janes and trying to get his attention. With the Whiskey girl around, he'd thought that perhaps he might have a chance.

Didn't seem likely.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

https://youtu.be/H6BEkPzstJQ

"Can I pick the next song?" Asmus asked. It was an attempt to get some normal conversation going. After the brief Odennus had agreed to join then for a round of cards in the ready room that adjoined flight control. They had out soundproofing between the two after Wraith started playing loud music before sorties.

"Feth no!" Wilson exclaimed. "You lost music privileges after that awful whateveritwas you put on last week. That electronic nonsense!"

"Classic Zeltron funk!" Asmus protested, but not too heavily. He had earned great scorn for choosing dancy numbers before flights several times. But his heart wasn't in the banter and it seemed neither was Chad's.

Kaile was back in his cabin, sound asleep. The chances of her still being there when he returned were exceedingly slim. A wasted opportunity. He was on edge, watching the minutes tick by.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

https://youtu.be/eBG7P-K-r1Y​

Odennus laughed, shaking his head as he shuffled the sabaac cards.

"Classic Zeltron Funk? You sure about that? I'll have to ask Omar to see if that nonsense is even considered classic!" they were all well used to teasing Janes, as he was the one more apt to let it slide off without offense.

"Pick something with a bit less bounce." he suggested, nodding to Wilson who immediately took charge of the music control. He went through a few names on the playlists and then settled on one in particular. Less bounce, but certainly catchy. Even Janes couldn't complain.

Granted, neither of them knew that this had been in the Kaile playlist Asmus had created a while ago.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus fell silent as the song started to play. He knew all too well which of their playlists they'd strayed into. Fortunate that it was named "Four day bliss" and not "Kaile". Also a good job that Delaney was on his short shift off. For all his posturing he was particularly sharp. Might have linked his expression, and this playlist often accompanying whiskey.

He took the sabacc cards and turned up the corners to give them a surreptitious glance. Not a good hand and he wasn't in the best bluffing mood.

Feth it all, he thought as he shifted in his seat. She'd wake up soon and head back to B deck. Could he just go calling on her at the end of his shift? If the Captain caught him up there again off his shift... Ah he could blag that. Up to the B floor office to do some extra work on my shift off sir, obviously.

He tossed in two credit chits. They played with loose change to avoid getting told off for encouraging gambling rather than with serous money. Even to the junior pilots a handful of credits wasnt much. When they each returned from a tour with the SIS they'd find their bank accounts swollen.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Odennus tossed two credits into the pot. He bobbed his head up and down to the beat of the song. It was one of his favorites. A catchy tune and energetic. To a degree he had similar tastes to Janes save for that electronic hubaloo he often preferred. Although if there was anything to be said about the Wraith Commander was that he had a very eclectic taste in music.

"Deal." Wilson said, nodding to get another card. With the slick move of a well practiced Sabaac dealer, the Flight Commander sent another card down his way.

Pale green eyes shifted and settled on the crew. They were awfully quiet considering how their normal banter went. That struck him as a bit off. Even Janes were quieter than usual; twitcher even. His knee kept bouncing up and down as if he was restless.

"You're awfully quiet Janes." Odennus sang with mild amusement.

"Didn't think it was possible." he teased, prompting a chuckle or two.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"So you know w..." Wilson was cut off by a kick under the table from Chad and a glare from Asmus.

"Draw," Asmus called. Two of sabres. Now that was interesting. The cards were thrown into one end of his number crunching mind and the odds came out the other. An Idiot's Array was a possibility, but a slim one. "I've got some stuff to work out is all."

"And obviously he's still embarassed about spilling caf down his hands! Burned himself!" Wilson added enthusiastically. Asmus smiled at the man trying to redeem himself.

A yellow light flashed in the corner of the room. Odennus looked up at it. "I'd best go see what that is. No one look at my cards." He pushed up off the table and headed out of the room. Wilson immediately picked up his hand and showed it around.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

https://youtu.be/xGytDsqkQY8​

Odennus strode over to the array. Picking up the comm, he reviewed the update. The Ion storm seemed to be taking a turn for the worse. If anyone were thinking of ambushing the Subversion, it would likely be in the next hour or so.

"Might actually be sent out. Storms took a turn for the worse." Odennus said, sauntering on the back before flopping down on his chair. He eyeballed his cards and then shot a probing glare at the three.

"You look at my cards?" he inquired, although there was no bite to his tone. The next song came up with a familiar strum of a guitar.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus actually looked up from his cards hopefully. "We're going down?" He asked. It was all a bit too much for him and the distraction of flying would be welcome. The playlist was evoking memories.

The memories were so raw. Just thinking of her conjured the visceral images from just minutes ago. His hands clasped and unclasped on the table. They wanted to hold her again. It was hard not to imagine her waking up. Just like the first night looking ashamed at herself, promptly decided to leave.

"Not yet," the flight commander decided. He had a datapad now and placed it on the table next to him. He kept one eye on the external readings and alert channel. "But did anyone check my cards?"

"We wouldn't do that to you."

"Nope."

"Not at all."