Gravity

[Asmus Janes]

Their first collision had been a frenetic dance. They had been exhausted, the filled to the brim with adrenaline and cast back out into the hold of the ship. And she’d been suffering concussion too, which would have made Asmus feel guilty if he had any time for such thoughts.

Instead he was savouring every moment. As she leant back the fabric of her shirt rode up and the pads of his fingers felt her warmth. Every breath in through his nose was filled with her scent. The brief probing kiss was returned and his forehead met hers before he tilted his head and pulled her even tighter. Soft lips parted willingly and he explored the sensations given up by her mouth. Every rustle of fabric and sharp inhalation was memorised.

Suddenly his heart was filled with regret. It caught him suddenly. She would feel the uncertainty radiate off him.

“Enjoy the Academy.”

“You’ll be brilliant.”​

The heart remembered before the mind conjured the image of her turning away from him. She’d told him to be brilliant. And he had been, he realised with a swell of pride. But the lustre of his wandering ways had been forever tarnished. Changing his stars hadn’t felt like freedom when he couldn’t find the place he wanted to go. Where she was.

The tension melted away again as he faced that vivid memory.

I missed you. I missed you so much.

Overwhelmed by emotion he parted his lips from hers. His drew in air in deep, sharp breaths. He wanted, needed to say so much. But he didn’t. Instead he twisted his body towards her and then started to shuffle down the bed, pulling her down with him so they could lie facing each other and continue in more comfort.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Kaile had felt his mental withdraw, the tension that ran along his body when the first wave of regret hit. It was enough to prompt a slight pause were it not for the bittersweetness of his kiss. For the way he suddenly melted back into her and broke the kiss.

The slow shift down and the gentle tug to lay on their sides was surreal. By then her right hand had come drifting up to cradle his cheek, where her thumb swept a gingerly caress. What had he been thinking? Part of her wanted to know while another didn't.

Kaile released a cautious breath, as if a single word would pass between them and shatter the delicate moment between them. Not because Kaile feared he'd ask questions or say all the things he felt, but because it was just so hard grasping even now that this was actually happening. It was real. Not a dream or a fantasy, but the heart that thudded under her fingers belonged to Asmus himself.

In all these years, nothing had erased or even dimmed Kaile’s memories of Asmus. His kiss. His touch. The disorienting intensity of his gaze. She was a different person now, and so was he, but apparently those transformations didn’t matter to what the Lorrdian felt. For her heart, he was a grounding wire, the needle of a compass, a gravitational pull.

Don't think. Don't question it. The chant was like a mantra that echoed the longing to kiss him again. It didn't take much to turn into him, or feel the sail of his hand against her belly. Stars, that felt good. But nothing as much as the emotional wave that swelled up to crash among them both.

 

[Asmus Janes]

He had never imagined their reunion to play out quite like this. That wasn’t strictly true, he realised. Several times he had entertained fantasies where he had come in as the dashing pilot and rescued her from danger. He just hadn’t included the bit where he found out she was a spy and then proceeded to give her a concussion.

The fact that he was thinking instead again caused to him to forcibly silence his own mind. There was no return to the kiss immediately. The hand on her belly slid around her waist before being used to pull their bodies tight together. Cheek to cheek he held her tight, a content sigh escaping his lips.

They had each other again. The maelstrom of emotion that churned as that notion sunk in was difficult to contain. That first night had been an explosion of passion, but followed by uncertainty as neither managed to really process what had happened. Slowly it was beginning to sink in.

Three delicate kisses were planted on her cheek as his lips searched for hers again. As they closed on their quarry she turned in to welcome his return. Choppy emotion waters and idle thoughts all settled down as he immersed himself in her again. They could have been anywhere at any time. It didn’t matter. They simply were.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


The next few hours were almost as if Kaile had stepped right into a dream. There amidst the gentle, emotion filled kisses the Lorrdian gave Asmus, they managed to both find their version of peace. If at least for a little while. It was a lull in the storm, Kaile knew that, but she was willing to take it.

They spent their time locked in a sort of rediscovery of one another. Their hands mapping and tracing familiar and new paths as gentle caresses and cafunes. From the way Kaile’s palm would sail over Asmus’ jaw to the manner that his bandaged hand had followed the curve of the espion’s spine. His injuries were still fresh enough to sting if too much pressure was placed upon them despite the pain killer, so it served as a reminder to not move too fast. Although neither seemed to be of the mind to move it beyond that.

They fell asleep in each other’s arm not long after. As if the Fate’s had so decided to indulge Asmus’ secret wish to be satisfied with just that; the press of Kaile’s cheek against his chest while she slept, her breathing a slow and steady fan against his breast.

About three hours total would pass before either would start to stir. Cradled in his arms, Kaile quietly slumbered. There her expression completely relaxed and free of the tension she so normally held while awake.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Several sensations competed for his attention as his eyes slowly lifted. He had that slightly warm and clammy feeling from having slept in his clothes. That had likely been compounded from the warmth of Kaile draped over his chest. Then his stomach added to the melee by rumbling.

“This can't be real,” he murmured. In his drowsy state it was almost hard to separate reality from dream. They'd been watching the series and then… had to be a dream.

Asmus allowed his hands to move as they wished. One explored the small of her back and waist whilst the other held the forearm lying across his.

He sucked air over his teeth sharply. “Not a dream,” he decided. They didn't tend to sting quite as much.

How much time had passed? It was often hard to be certain on a ship. They dimmed the corridor lights for eight hours for the two night shifts. By the protest of his belly they'd been asleep a while, but it didn't feel like a whole night.

She stirred, serene expression disturbed by his movements. Before he knew it he was breaking down at her with a wide smile. “Hey.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

"Mmm," it was a low mumur, half spoken in dreamy slumber. Shoulders rose in the deep breath she inhaled through her nose and into her lungs, lifting her chest as the brunette buried her face against his chest anew.

A dream? Could very well be as Kaile had them often before only to see them fade as the vestiges of slumber disappeared with the withering dawn. As before she indulged in the illusion, seeking the warmth of his manifested form before it would surely disappear.

However, this particular sight didn't fade nor wane the more she awoke. Instead she registered the slight caress of his thumb along her forearm. The clammy warmth of his body pressed against her, clothes a bit tangled but still in place. One of her legs had slid between his while his arm had held her close. She could feel the slow, soothing rise and fall of his hand at the small of her back, gently rubbing it. No, this was real. Very, very real.

Hey.

For a moment, Kaileann awoke in mild confusion. It wasn't everyday that the Lorrdian blinked away the blurry vision of sleep and the first sight that she'd see be smiling gold-flecked jade green eyes and that haunting smile. Bits and pieces came to the fore of her mind, the woman blinking slowly on her way to full conciousness.

They were in Asmus' room and had been watching YZ-929. His burned hands and how they'd sat on his bed. Intoxicating kisses and --

"Hey." cheeks were pink with more than just slumber, her hair a mused mess across his pillow as she stared up at him.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Her head bobbed up and down as he took took in a deep breath. “I like that show,” he said, just to fill the emptiness with words. His hands were, as always, better at communicating with Kaile. Releasing her forearm he brushed her chin with a curled up finger to tilt her face towards him. Then his hand sought out hers. He coaxed her hand open and slid his fingers between hers.

Hunger was forgotten. Confusion flashed across his expression before his smile widened. In his mind he reviewed the last few days. They'd crashed together and fallen apart. The awkwardness in the med bay stood clear in his thoughts. Clearly she had been struggling to come to terms with finding again. But the pain had been deep.

His hand gave a brief, tight squeeze at that thought. Everything was smothered in the realisation that it was so damn comfortable here. Their interlocked fingers as intimate as touch.

“We should eat at some point.” But the idea of holding her hand through the corridors of the ship was just a fantasy. She would barely allow such a thing herself here in the privacy of a cabin.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“Me too.” came Kaile’s half hushed reply, her nose twitching as she slowly awoke. It was a half uttered commentary, one that faded into comfortable silence as Asmus’ fingers slowly interlocked with hers. Those slender digits went curling within the delicate valleys in between her fingers. The hearts of their palms touched, warm skin against the other as their quiet language evoked a far more intimate conveyance of just how much this simple act meant.

“Reckon we can’t just hole ourselves away…” she added, body shifting a bit despite the fact that it really didn’t want to. Her leg slide against his, a hitch of a thigh and there they were just a little bit closer. Considering they had indulged in tea and caf hours earlier, their breath could have been better, but Kaile didn’t mind. He was a cocktail of the fading scent of the sickly sweet bacta, caf, and that which was Asmus himself.

There were other things that swept through Kaile’s mind, but otherwise she didn’t want this moment to stop. The sensation of waking up in Asmus’ arms had been a constant dream that inevitably faded away from existence when she awoke. This time she wanted it to last just a little longer.

Swallowing, her free hand trapped between them began to lightly skim the tips of her fingers across his right pectoral, feeling the shift of fabric as it did so.

“How’s them burns?” were they painful still or did he need more drugs?

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Sting a little, but not too bad,” he said. It was a dull throb, the analgesics started to subside, but he could push it to the edge of his awareness.

Thinking in her question, he decided he could quite happily go along with the plan of skipping dinner and holing up in here. Just to have her so close again. It felt...there were no words he could use to describe what it was.

It had been so easy to discover, this thing between them. Thinking that she had gone forever he had tried to find it again. Tried and failed. They had easily fallen into this, but it was not something he could just replace.

Asmus smiled as he thought these thoughts. His teeth surely ran across his bottom lip, not quite catching it in a bite. She was almost calm, content. Such a contrast to just a few days ago. That was understandable. He was still coming around to the notion that this was real. It was a marvel he had flown his shuttle straight after the shock of discovering her in a First Order uniform. That made him think of peeling off those grimy clothes. A shiver ran up his spine.

“We can stay a little while…” he suggested. There was a slight shift of his shoulders as he settled into their new position and sank into the mattress. His eyes started to search her own again. Looking for nothing in particular, there were no answers he wanted to hear right now. It was simple, unabridged joy at having her so close once more. Reminding himself that it was real.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“That’s good.” worrying about a caf burn seemed a rather silly thing to focus over, but for Kaile it did. Just her way of worrying over folk. Not to mention it being Asmus and all. It was good to hear he was feeling better.

Even better when he mentioned how they could stay a while.

There was enough irony in the situation enough to warrant anyone a tweak of their lips. Perhaps a bit too good to be true? Kaile didn’t know, but it was as if Life Day came and she got the bestest present one could give her. However, all things considered it wasn’t one that she’d figured would last long. How could it?

Then again… goodness seeing the gold flecks in his eyes and the way he was staring down at her made her tingle from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. So much so that they did indeed curl in delighted pleasure. Not the sort of toe-curling she’s used to, but he also had a way with that -- an image of hot tangled sheets and the rake of fingertips across sweat slicked skin was enough to remind Kaile of that.

“‘...watch another episode?” she was giving him an out. Or was that for me? Goodness things used to be so much simpler in the past. Asmus made things foggy. Heady. Made her feel as if she was spinning round and round and all her emotions were about to burst from her chest cause she couldn’t hold them all in.

Love does that to folk. Crazy things.

 

[Asmus Janes]

She would see his eyes widen a fraction. His thumb stopped strumming out a lullaby across the back of her hand. The rogue hadn't really been considering what came next. Doing so invoked… possibilities.

“Erm,” he stalled. Before his eyes looked away she would see the slow burning desire spread across verdant forests. He didn't want the furious collision of the other night, but to feel the hot press of her entire body against his as they moved together to the rhythm of a slow dance.

“The waltz…” he murmured. A flash of amusement crossed his features. It was shortly followed by embarrassment. Hell the Twins had told her about strip twister. It was now an urban legend in the Sullust academy. Some cadets had incredulously told him he had been lying. A few drinks down the line he had shown them otherwise. In the words of his superior 'if we could prove that happened you'd be out on your arse. As it is, all I can do is make you scrubs those spots off the floor. Hull decal paint is a queen to scrub off without any chemicals.’ It had been worth it.

“Yeah let's watch another,” Asmus replied. It was an act of cowardice in some respects. But he felt that, perhaps, they had started to settle into this gravity well. Not totally stable orbits, but no more eccentric changes of direction. Thinking on it, he decided it would be a lot easier to shift back into their professional relationship in the morning now. If they took another step, he had a suspicion they would tumble. Time. They had plenty of time. It seemed that way when compared to just four days.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Kaile didn’t miss what Asmus had murmured. Nor the way his eyes had seemed to caress every little bit of flesh and sight that beheld him as he held her close. Didn’t help that when he’d mentioned “The waltz,” Kaile felt the flex of his fingers along her waist, reminding her just how good they’d also felt when they’d gripped her a little bit harder. Yup, that waltz. Both in the literal sense and in the figurative. Although it was awfully tempting to jump right into the literal figurative…Oh golly, Kaile you ain’t even making any sense!

So she decided to focus on the now; more importantly, if they were going to watch another episode then they had to find out where the datapad went to control it. Which required moving and searching for it, and truth be told, Kaile wasn’t too keen on doing either.

“Umm…” she bit her lip, managing to pull her eyes away from his own. If she stared any longer then she’d start kissing him again, the thought easily discernable from the emotive nuances that ran over the Lorrdian’s heartshaped face. Uncurling her hand from his vest, Kaile tentatively brushed her bangs away from her face.

“Where that datapad go?” she barely rotated back a bit, appearing as if to search for the small square pad. However, with the way his arm had held her close at the small of her back, she didn’t make it far. Clothes were rumpled, slightly slack against her chest. With her hair lightly mused and the slight puffiness of her lips, there was no hiding the long make out session they had earlier.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Green eyes took the scenic route to look to the bed down by their feet. The datapad wasn’t there. That meant it was behind one of them or on the floor. That, in turn, meant he had to loosen his grip on her. Her appearance hadn’t escaped his notice; it would have been impossible to at this proximity. Her ruffled clothing did not to detract from the way she made his heart skip, especially when she went and tucked her hair back just so. Asmus had on several occasions drawn back his long hair at the right moment to draw the eye.

He didn’t want to let go. For the first time in years he had her where he wanted - desperately desired - her to be. But practicality was what it was. Not making a move for the datapad would lead them down a different path. Yet before he let go, he leaned in without hesitation. Asmus drew himself up just a few inches so that he almost came down towards her, forcing her to lean away slightly as he let his eyelids fall shut. A brief, reverent kiss, accompanied by a small murmur and a squeeze from his arms. A possessive gesture before he allowed his hand to slip from beneath her.

There was an awkward shuffle to draw up and crane to look over her. Her wide hazel orbs seemed to follow him instead of joining the search.

“There it is,” he sighed. His tongue traced over his dry lips as he uncoupled their hands to grasp the pad. The pilot loomed over, broader and more muscular than he had been before.

He fell back down on his side facing her, the tablet held impotently in one hand, resting against his knee.

Probably need to say something or start the show again.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Why did he have to do that?

It would have been easier if she’d moved out of his way. Or maybe if he’d taken a different direction. However, seeing the flex of the muscles of his arms as he braced himself and how he had hovered over her for a moment made Kaile catch her breath. Maybe if he hadn’t done that then she’d wouldn’t be feeling the tightening sensation at the pit of her belly. Or maybe she wouldn’t have bitten the corner of her lower lip just so. Maybe then she wouldn’t have found herself breathless, lungs starving for air until he managed to scoot over onto his side and stare at her again. Watching her with those jade green eyes that she knew could turn a dark, stormy shade of malachite as he held her against her.

Think happy thoughts. Think happy --

Those traitorous fingers went reaching out, gingerly brushes that came to rest against his chest again. Once there she remembered how to breath again, cool air rushing up her nose and down into her lungs, bringing with it that unique scent that always came with him. Didn’t matter that it was edged in bacta. From there her right hand went tracing up and across to his shoulder, coming down over the slight tremble of his bicep, and lower still over his forearm.

Swallowing hard, the Lorrdian went reaching a little bit lower -- until her fingers brushed against the cool plastoid of the datapad.

“Umm..” her finger tapped against the display, a quick rap. More of an incentive to remember the broader picture of the entire reasoning on why she shouldn’t lean forward and kiss him senseless again.

“What episode?”

 

[Asmus Janes]

I don't care. I'd rather make love to you.

Kaile would be witness to another little struggle playing out over his features. One hand tilted the datapad up towards them, the other gave a gentle tug at the hem of her shift before he could rein it in.

“We can just watch the next one,” he proposed. Kaile bit her lip a lot, he reflected. A firm bite in the centre when she was nervous or upset, sometimes enough to draw blood. A bite on the corner could show a range of amorous intentions.

Why can we communicate so much better with body language?

Not only did he tap for the show to continue, but he pulled down a drop down menu and told the screen to move. The sensor followed his eyes as he rolled onto his back and looked up. Within a few moments the show was being projected onto the ceiling above them.

“Lazy mode,” he whispered.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Lazy mode indeed.

That was one way to watch the next episode. Kaile could see the benefit of it. It was projected comfortably at an angle that wouldn’t put a crink on her neck. There had been times in the past where she'd imagined that they'd lay side by side, snuggled close.

Would it be too bold to shift closer? To line her left side along with his left? Would the drift of her fingers that had sunk along the bed transverse the space between and connect with his own?

The telltale familiar tune resonated throughout the small cabin, the soft melody of the title credits washing over them like the warm rays of the sun.

Whatever thoughts percolated and went dancing through her mind, her pinky finger moved on its own. Darting out, it gingerly would reach, a tiny quiver of a motion that ended up stroking along the edge of his hand. Warm skin touched warm flesh, tracing up towards his knuckle to rest there.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Through most of the episode he spent his time juggling strands of thought in his own head. Wispy, nebulous things that refused to let him grasp them, or stick to holding just one. His attention switched between the show, the sensation of her hand against his, to all the possibilities and memories.


With a slow shift he took her hand in his own, before shuffling closer until her hip and shoulder pressed against his own. It was almost an out of body experience watching them both in disbelief. Would she be deployed again soon, taken away from him for another few years? That sent a cold shock through his gut and he pushed the thought away.


He laughed as Simon accidentally insulted the ship’s mechanic. Which in turn made him think of balls. He could finish teaching the waltz. His lips twitched as he considered the fact that he would never see a First Order uniform in quite the same way. Those memories were also quickly smothered lest they affect him in ways which would be obvious to Kaile.


“I'd best get some food after this one. I've got the next four hour emergency response shift.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

He wasn’t the only one who had work to do.

There were other briefings she’d have to take, not to mention discussing with Lieutenant Vo about the alias she’d be using. Considering his sense of humor, the Sullustan likely thought up another uniform gimmick that Kaile would have to put in some research for. While the Lorrdian was gifted in mimicry, there were still a few facets that required her to put in some work to perfect. Nothing was immediate, and it was a skill that she had to constantly keep fresh with.

“Yeah, reckon by now Vo might be wonderin’ where I went off to.” not to mention checking up on Darak at the medbay as well. Ship life didn’t pause for them just because they were here side by side watching a space opera show. Asmus also had his own responsibilities. He was the Wraith Commander after all.

And if someone were to stop by looking for the Captain, it wasn’t like one could avoid seeing she was here. A ship this small would talk.

Like they weren’t already talking? A voice in her head reminded her. Her little stint in the mess hall would not go unnoticed. How Chad had picked up not only on her banter with Omar but also stumbling upon them in the tiny kitchenette was enough to send any tongues wagging. If they were the sort of course.

Then there had been that redhead in the corridor…


[member="Asmus Janes"]

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Oh,” Asmus replied. That thought hadn’t really crossed his mind. The pilots were really a sub-community within the crew. They weren’t necessary to the operation of the ship and spent a lot of time studying manuals, flight plans and action replays on their own or in small groups. Hardly the rock stars some people thought they were. More like studious nerds at times.

The same concerns went through his mind, but as usual he couldn’t help but vocalise them. He drew her hand up to his lips and gently kissed the back of her fingers. Then he let go and rolled onto his side to face her.

“You should probably make sure you keep a comm on you in case they come looking,” he mused. “It’s a small ship. I’ve enjoyed this. Really, really have. Want to spend more time with you too. But people will end up talking.”

He offered no solution on the matter. He merely voiced his thoughts.



Lucy perked up from the conduit she’d been replacing. The flat durasteel panel still on the deck beside her. She thought she’d heard…

“So they’re really…”

“I don’t know.” That was Omar’s voice. That hedonistic zeltron from Ghost squadron. “But I’m pretty good at reading people and there’s a history between them. Asmus wanted to keep quiet about it, but we all had a quick chat with our new agent.” There was that arrogant tone in his voice, the one Lucy couldn’t stand. At least he’d taken her rebuke promptly when he’d come sniffing around.

“Huh. Never took Asmus to be one for history.” That was De’nar. A female bothan and one of the senior engineers.

“So what are you up to later?” Omar asked. His tone spoke far more than his words. He’d missed out the part of the story where he’d been asking after Kaile’s intentions for his own reasons.

“Don’t you feel like you’re a bit of a cliche? On both Zeltron and pilot grounds?” They were just around the corner, Lucy thought. Silence followed, but Lucy assumed he must have answered with an expression or gesture as De’nar responded in a hushed tone.

“I get off in two hours. I’ll come round yours.”

“I don’t mind if we go to…”

“I do. Quex and Jettle started sleeping together and they think they’re being subtle about it. In a room of eight bunks there’s no subtle trust me.”

“Alright, catch you later.”

Thought De’nar had better standards than that, Lucy mused before realising footsteps were coming her way. She tried to bury her head in the hatch, but did so too late. De’nar must have seen the expression on her face as she dropped down onto her haunches next to her.

“Oh Lucy you heard all that didn’t you?”

The redhead scrunched up her face and continued to work.

“I’m so sorry.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Yeaah, that was the problem. There were at the most one hundred souls in the Subversion, not adding into account those who would come and go depending on mission parameters and if they needed to be completely dark. Posts like these generally went on for a year or more, and that made for a small, cramped space where everyone knew everyone. Boredom arose and any bit of small gossip was a bit of news fulff to stave off the daily grind. While Kaileann had no doubts that Asmus’ reputation was already colored enough, the last thing they both needed was to be under a higher level of scrutiny.
Especially if...no, no sense in diving into that, the Lorrdian mused. An awkward half smile lingered with an upturn at the right corner of her mouth. There was a brief measure of indecision in those tawny depths, as if the agent wasn’t quite sure how to properly reply to that.

There was the bit where she also enjoyed spending time with him. With feeling the warmth of his body, at being able to hear his voice, taste his lips and just let herself forget. Forget that this likely was all going to be a brief indulgence that she couldn’t claim for herself. I have no right.

Taking a deep breath, her shoulders and chest rose. The stray locks of the fringe of her bangs slightly slipped away from her eyes with a small shift of her head, as if trying to get a better view of the pilot.

“I have one.” comm that is. A small twist of her hand gestured to the chronowatch. “ Built in.” feeling his lips close to her knuckles and the brief kiss had left them tingling. There were other places she’d like him to…

“But even then, yeah…” a glance back up towards the ceiling where the episode continued on.

“Reckon I can’t stay long or make it a habit.” in more ways than one. “We’ve a mission to look over.” was she reminding that for Asmus’ sake or for herself?