The Demon Within (Siobhan)

[Cora Passek]

"I promise. Not all of them, just some." Cora said with a cheesy grin. Though truthfully she hardly felt like even attempting such. She closed her eyes, letting the Priestess stroke her head. Such a simple action and such power she could now feel and recognize that helped to soothe her pains away.

Cora's smile soon faded at the question. "I honestly don't know." She gave a nod, "I was just thinking upon that. I have been." She managed a shrug as one hand drifted down to her pocket, lightly touching the communicator. Such a large connection to the past, filled with temptation to resort to her old ways. "I've not exactly had the opportunity to really think about it until now. Not exactly having the freedom of thought without Vahri interjecting his thoughts and beliefs into it. Confusing as hell if you ask me. Short answer, I don't know. It's far too easy to fall into old patterns, habits. And that's not exactly a road I really want to walk anymore."

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


If Eileithya noticed what was Cora was fiddling with, she hid it well. Then again, maybe she did not. However, temptation was something she knew of. "You could go back to your old ways. Smuggling, bombings, fighting a desperate struggle with monsters whilst teetering on the brink yourself. Always looking over your shoulder due to fear of betrayal." Her tone, so at odds with her words, remained gentle and soft.


"I am not here to judge. 'Tis not my place. But I do not think that path will make you happy. What path do you want to walk?" There lay the crux of the matter, what Cora wanted in her life. As opposed to what she might have believed she needed to do, either to accomplish vengeance upon the Sith or because there seemed to be no alternative. "Forget Vahri, forget the Sith. Just ask yourself that."

 

[Mirien Valdier]

"Glad I could help." Mirien said softly, not really used to the praise. "I know." She whispered. "I remember it too. There's a reason I fought so far to keep him out of your mind. I don't want you to have to go through that again." Carefully she stuck close to Siobhan, helping to support her as Sio would allow, and ready to catch her should she fall.

"They just have good tastes in powerful force users." She said, teasing a bit. "It's entirely possible that you were gifted some of his knowledge." Mirien sighed, "Not that it's something you want but it could be useful. I'm just pleased the nerf herder is sitting in a crystal in my vault until I can find a better more torturous prison for him." Yep, Mirien had plans in mind to make sure he suffered and could never escape.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"Make sure you give me a call when you get around to torturing the bastard. I'd like to make suffer and never get out again." Wanting vengeance was dark side blahblahblah...she was fething dark side. Ergo she did not care. However, she would be lying if she claimed that the Sith's knowledge did not intrigue her to a degree. After all, he had clearly mastered transfer essence. Of course, she was not so foolish to think she could become immortal - nor did she want to.


But...she lived a rather dangerous life and wanted to be there to see her daughter grow up and keep her safe. It could be useful. Slippery slope...she cast these thoughts aside and, gratefully accepting the support from Mirien, headed off to the cantina. "Come on, love."

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora sighed heavily, her eyes dropping to the floor. That old life, it wasn't what she wanted. However, it was the life she hade known since she was a teenager. It wasn't an easy task to set any of that aside. She gave a tiny shrug, trying in some part trying to put aside the thoughts but it didn't seem the priestess was going to let her.

Breathing out slowly, she tried to compose herself a little more. "I've been walking this path for so long, I'm not sure I'd know another. Or even know where to start." Lost, and far from home certainly could be used to describe Cora in that moment. She was lost, caught somewhere in between and still was trying to figure it all out.

That communicator in her pocket, seemed to be the lifeline to that other life she'd been leading for so long. A connection that Cora was starting to realize she might need to break. After all, she'd been very close to becoming the monsters she loathed so much. "It's not that easy, to let go, or forget." She said quietly, not looking up at the redhead.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Mirien Valdier]

"Oh believe me, I will. After all he did to Cora, he deserves what he gets. And the stars only know how many others he managed to do that to along the way." She said with a shake of her head, firmly believing the bastard was getting what he deserved but right now it was hardly enough.

"Of course, darling." Mirien said following along. Entering the cantina, Mirien was quick to wave a waitress over and ordered a drink for herself. "Martini, please." After the day she had, she certainly needed one, and a strong one at that. Food was second to that. Though she did order that too. Leaving the waitress to Siobhan to select what she wanted.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


The blonde was lost and far from home. Willing to change, but uncertain how. Perhaps even afraid of trying and failing. Eileithya gently patted her hand. "No, it's not. It's frightening even. You may think I've spent all my life being a kindly Priestess who heals people, but that's not true. Once upon a time, many decades ago, I was a slave on a planet in Wild Space. After one act of abuse too many I killed my owner in a fit of rage. That was just, but it was not enough for me. I fell into the abyss and embraced it. One day I wiped out an entire town of innocents to fueld my power," the Priestess admitted.


"The Goddess humbled me and took my power away because I could cause more suffering. I suppose it would be easy to say that daemons had clouded my mind and, indeed, that was how I rationalised my actions. But the truth is, it was all me. I wandered for decades, trying to change and make amends because she had taken pity on me. Long story cut short, change is possible. Real change, not that nonsense the Yedai consider a 'redemption programme'," she said with a degree of scorn in her voice. "You just have to seek it out and you have people who care about you. The Goddess forgives, dear."

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"Shaken, not stirred, right?" Siobhan asked teasingly. "Martini for me as well. Strong one. And sausages and potatoes please." The waitress took their order and presumably if Mirien wanted food, she noted that as well. Then she turned on her heels and departed. Presumably Siobhan took some time to oggle her butt.


"I'll go visit Cora after we've eaten. See how she's holding up and whether Eileithya has already gotten her to sing Ashiran hymns. And, well, I do think you and I deserve some alone time," she winked at her lover, then reached over the table to stroke over her hand.

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora seemed a bit shocked hearing that from the priestess. "But you seem ... You seem so .. I don't know exactly but you hardly seem capable of such." Cora said quietly. And for her part Cora realized she needed to change, just there was that uncertainty, the unknowns that made her hesitate. After all she'd just really gotten a grip on her former life. Then again, how much of a grip and understanding could you have when a Sith Lord helped to color your mind, thoughts and desires. That also made her question a few things.

"I had no idea." Though the blonde did snort at the Jedi redemption program part of things.

"I suppose so." For a change, she did have people who actually cared and weren't apt to put a blade into her back when she wasn't looking. The priestess was right on that. And the people she had, that cared so much, was a huge change for her already.

"I guess you do have a point." Though she didn't sound that enthusiastic about it. For a start it would hardly be easy. Change never was. This was more of starting her entire life over, breaking every last old habit and pattern she had. And while she liked to think she didn't know where to start, she in fact did. The start of change was sitting in her pocket, Cora just had to get brave enough to smash it for herself. And she was getting awfully close now.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Mirien Valdier]

"Actually stirred, not shaken." She was a tiny bit of a martini snob. The woman had to be different, always. Never could be quite normal with anything.

The brunette nodded, "Probably a wise idea. I imagine I'd be going stir crazy if I was over there in the healing shrine, but then that is me. Though I'll suffer through a hospital stay if I must. It's just part of life." She said with a shrug, then another nod, "I think we do." Mirien was finally smiling. "Perhaps a small vacation somewhere?" Mirien was actually suggesting that, a vacation. Though her version of a vacation meant like a weekend on a beach where she was back at work come Monday.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"Cora, dear, you don't need to have all the answers now. You have all the time you need to figure it out. If you allow yourself to," Eileithya spoke firmly, emphasising 'you'. It all came down to Cora giving herself the chance to change, rather than returning to the old, familiar road. Redemption did not consist of waving a magic wand that magically made all your problems go away. Nor was there an absurd 'Five Step Programme', contrary to what the Jedi seemed to think.


"You said you had religion once. What did it teach you? What would it tell you to do in this situation?" the Priestess asked. Time for some ecumenical discussion. "Just purely hypothetical. You're the one who decides where your life goes."

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


Siobhan looked dumbfounded. "Mirien...did you suggest going on a vacation? I don't believe it. Tatooine must've frozen over. It'll be a proper vacation though! Not just a weekend. And you're not bringing any work with you," Siobhan insisted resolutely. She had the feeling that she would have to be sly in order to keep her lover from working.


However, unfortunately the moment of levity passed soon as she looked thoughtful, nervously tapping her fingers on the table. Meanwhile the waitress returned and served them their drinks. Mirien's martini was stirred, not shaken. Finally Siobhan took a deep breath and spoke up. "I...need to tell Tegs...about us. I can't look into her eyes and say it's a fling. That's not the truth and it's unfair to..you and her." Her voice sounded hesitant and uncertain, even a bit afraid.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien nodded, "Yeah, I said it. And no! No no! Just a weekend! And you mean .... No, that's cruel." The woman protested highly. This just would not do. Not for her, not ever.

Then things grew more serious and Mirien could only sit there, her concern growing. The Inquisitor's eyes dropped to the table, the last thing she wanted was to be the cause for breaking up their marriage. "I think," She started but stopped, taking a large gulp from her glass. "That it might be for the best." She already felt bad enough as it was. Reaching out, she took Siobhan's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We'll figure it out, somehow." Though admittedly she had little clue where to start. This wasn't exactly a situation she'd ever been in before and there certainly was no training that could have ever prepared her for this.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Cora Passek]

"It doesn't feel like I have all the time in the galaxy to figure it out." No, to her it was more pressing than that. And something that already was constantly bothering her.

The blonde sighed softly and nodded, a flood of memories coming back to her as she thought about it. "To be truly sorrowful for the sins I've committed, to seek confessional and unburden myself. And to do penance for my sins." She said softly. "And not repeat them again, to start anew." Said with a slight shrug. It had been some time since she'd given that any thought at all. Eyes drifted to Eileithya, wondering where exactly this discussion was going.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


"I see," Eileithya spoke, still stroking across Cora's hair and face. "Then there are some similarities to the tenets of Ashiranism. Granted, the old guard would deny that, but they can go hang." While quite conservative in some ways, there were many areas where her views were unorthodox, which might be one of the reasons for her low position in the clergy. "And do you feel sorrowful for the sins you committed? Would you...like to confess to me?"

 

[Cora Passek]

Cora nodded, though couldn't help but chuckle at the Priestess' choice of words. "Funny how that works out." The blonde said quietly.

She then grew quiet for a long while at the questions asked. This was a little more uncomfortable for her than she imagined. Not that she ever expected this kind of thing to happen. A soft sigh came, and Cora nervously wrung her fingers. "Yes, and no. Some I do. Some I don't." It wasn't really a direct answer, more like her was of avoiding dealing with the uncomfortable reality that she did regret the majority of things she had done looking back, people she'd killed, and so on. "If I say yes ... are you willing to be here for a very long night? The list, is .... kind of... long." Cora still wasn't entirely sure she wanted to do that, but ... it seemed something she needed to do.

[member="Tarissa Cadalthor"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


The conversation had become considerably less pleasant. Siobhan felt bad about ruining the sweet moment, but she knew it needed to be said. "I know. I don't want to...but I have to. Anything else would be unfair. I...don't want to lose or hurt either of you, but I...think I will. I hate causing anyone in my family pain," having said these words her voice seemed to crack. In her perfect fantasy she would not have to choose, but she knew that this was not a utopia. "I'm afraid." She looked very embarrassed at the admission and quickly took a deep gulp from her drink.

 

[Vaena Askari]

[member="Cora Passek"]


Eileithya kept stroking the blonde's hair. "That's alright, dear. I still have about two centuries to live, so one night is not a sacrifice," she said dryly. "I have the time, if you want to tell your story. I'll make myself comfortable," she said encouragingly. One might get the impression that this was not the first time she had done this. Her view of Ashiranism and especially her emphasis on redemption were rather unorthodox, but she still stuck to them.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien sighed heavily. This was not what she had been expecting at all. "Look, Sio I know it is going to hurt, but one way or another there is no avoiding someone." Another sigh, and she stood, coming around to hug Siobhan, "I know you are."

She shook her head slowly, knowing what she wanted to say and knowing in no way was Siobhan going to like it. There was a sense of responsibility on her side, and there were after all, children involved. That was a deciding factor for her, whether or not Sio knew it. "You know I love you. Which is what is complicating matters, and I know it." She stopped herself there from finishing that thought. Which is why I would like to make it easy for you. To protect you and your marriage. But those were not words she voiced or shared through the bond.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"Yes, you do, and gorram it, I love you. Don't act like this all on yourself. Or that you have to be all noble and walk away," Siobhan spoke, her tone harsher and fiercer than intended, though she looked apologetic. She lowered her chin, looking down at the table.


"Things with Tegs...aren't the way they used to be. I don't know, it just feels like we're distant. What's between you and me, our love, is a symptom, not the cause of it. But I still love her...," she trailed off, unsure about how to continue.