Wanderlust

[Jairdain]

As Karl smiled, Jairdain felt the movements under her fingers and she could picture what he looked like when he gazed at her. He had done a really good job the night before of showing her what they looked like together. The images they had shared of potential futures before them. It brought more smile to her face.

"Ah I can look back in time and see what I was when I joined the Jedi, but I still feel like the same me. A little more weathered and scarred now though."

She would move one of her hands for a moment and tap her head. Her captivity had only left a few bruises and cuts that were too shallow to leave scars. Trauma of the mind was different and left no visible scar. Letting out a sigh, she realized she had never really told many people what happened. Only short versions like what she had just told Karl. Maybe the time had come to tell it all.

As these thoughts crossed her mind, her smile faded slightly, but perked back up when Karl answered her question.

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He smiled at her and sent her some pictures of them, at the beach holding hands, meditating together with the rest of the Order. A young child running around in the field as they walked behind watching as the child ran ahead laughing and giggling. He smiled as he gave these images over to her to look at too.

"I can remember the day I joined, I have grown a lot since then, but It never feels like I have, but I know I have, you just have to look."

Looking at her he could see that she had gone through a lot, and even if she had no visible scars, her brain had a lot of scars that were going to plague her for the rest of her life. He knew that he wasn't getting her whole story, and he didn't expect it, at least not for a while. He watched her as she tapped her head and he sighed softly.

As her smile returned he smiled back at her and just looked at her softly.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Images flowed into her mind from Karl again. Grouped with other Jedi, on a beach and then with a child running through a field. Each one had them together, side by side. Jairdain joined in the smile, but only half heartedly.

"When did you join? What drew you?"

It seemed as he revealed a little about himself, she did about herself as well. It worked both ways and just the sharing of little details made her comfortable with him. More than anybody else she had met.

"Do you know how you have changed?"

Her voice was soft and gentle, but did not really express joy at the moment. Curiosity was apparent in her emotions and speech.

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He would send these photos and then see her smile, but not fully as if something else was on her mind, it made him sad, but he understood why. He continued to look at her as she asked him her question.

"My teacher told me to join, it had to be a few years ago now, 3 to 4."

Saying this he thought about it, it had seemed so far away but it really wasn't but it was a good time to be in the order, he remembered a lot of his first year, it had been hard for him.

"I'm a lot stronger in mind and spirit then I used to be... a lot more in tune with the force."

He felt her wave of joy as she learned about him, he just smiled at her as he tried his best to answer her questions.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Her hand just resting on his cheek, so she could feel his expressions, Jairdain listened to Karl's answers.

"How long were you with your Master?"

She had only been with hers a very short time before being sent on her mission and well, they both knew that ended.

"Did you have to face a trial before being a Knight?"

Not being familiar enough with how things worked, she wondered if she was unique or if everybody got tested somehow.

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He would smile softly as he listened to her question and lost it.

"10, 15 years probably..."

Saying this his eyes glanced down and he took a long shaky breath listening to her.

"I faced my trials differently from others but yes."

As he said this he sighed and kept his eyes down, thinking about his old master.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Apparently dragging this up about his past was still painful for him. Though Karl tried to keep his feelings hidden, their connection revealed them to Jairdain.

"In time, another, different one, we can continue this. For now though, I think enough has been said about our past."

She traced a finger tip along his brow, around his down cast eyes and to the end of his nose where she stopped to give him a small tweak.

"I know we can lay here and talk about the saber forms, functions and theory craft behind them. Later if we're up to it, practice more. I need to learn how to fight better than what I could learn in one night."

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He knew that she wanted to learn more about him and his past, but this was a hard topic for him, she had been his mother for a long time, and he was her son, and he remembered her that way.

"I'm sorry.... It's just.... hard for me, don't take it the wrong way, okay?"

Watching her as she traced his brow and his face some more he would keep his eyes down until she got to his nose and he would chuckle softly at her as she tweaked his nose.

"Yeah I know what you mean, Form I the one I taught you is the basis for all the forms, so the more I teach you, the more likely you can learn and pick up other forms quicker."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Only able to really give her head half a shake while laying on the pillow, Jairdain did this as Karl apologized.

"Maybe sometime it'll be easier and we just met yesterday...seems like it's been longer the way I feel with you."

Getting that little chuckle out of him, made her smile slightly and she placed her hand back his cheek. Being able to read emotions, but not see the face of the person involved, her touching him like this allowed her to see him in her own way.

"Was the a Form that one came from?"

Everything started somewhere and she wondered what her own people had used, if it was even related to the lightsabers.

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He would just look at her as he went and grabbed her hand and rubbed the top softly.

"It feels like we've known each other for a long time... and that we know a lot more about each other then we do."

Leaning his head into her hand he rubbed against it softly and would look into her eyes and softly let go of her other hand and placed it over the one on his chest looking at her more.

"It didn't come from a form but it did come from combat with a sword."

He said pulling this information from the depths of his mind, he knew a lot about lightsaber combat.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Karl took a hold of her hand and rubbed the top lightly. Agreeing with her that he also felt they had known each other longer. Maybe it was all the personal talk they had been doing or the more intimate activities. Letting out a sigh, Jairdain felt Karl rub his head on her hand and let her keep it on the side of his face to keep feeling his expressions. Her other hand, he placed on his chest, allowing her to feel his heart beat under her palm.

Her school had swords so very likely that was where she was at in knowing how to fight.

"So it's used to fight swords?"

They had spoke a little about it the night before and she had picked up some of the basic and easy moves. For once she hadn't even tripped over her feet while going through a kata.

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He just watched her, looking into her eyes as he felt her place her hand on his chest. Giving her a slight smile he just looked at her rubbing his cheek into her hand some more. He sent her more and more emotions, his feelings, he wanted her to know how much he cared for her, and wanted to be with her as they laid there.

Smiling at her he saw as she came up with a thought and he nodded as she asked.

"Yeah it was originally designed to fight swords."

He looked at her and remembered the previous night when he had helped her learn to get used to the style of the form, it was a easy form but it was essential to learning the rest of them.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Her face looked thoughtful as they talked the Form. Her hand did not rub on his face, but just rested there feeling it as he spoke and as his features changed from moment to moment. His emotions continued to flow and she returned them back to Karl.

A jumble of questions were swirling around in Jairdain's mind as they lay talking. She would start to ask one, but not find the words to phrase it and stop. Doing this a few times and eventually just letting out a sigh, she gave up on it.

"I just don't think I'm meant to be a fighter like that. Instead I focus on things of the mind and those powers."

Even if she would never be a proficient blade master, she would put up a good fight of the mind.

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He always got deep in thought when he talked about lightsaber combat, he loved it. Learning everything about it was an important goal for him, and every day he got closer and closer to knowing it all, but he knew that he never would.

Smiling at her softly as she tried to ask so many questions at once and switching from one to another just trying to pick one until she gave up with a sigh. He would extend his hand and place it on her face softly looking at her.

"You don't have to be a fighter like that, there is other ways to fight... you don't always have to use your body."

As he said this he gave her a soft smile as he looked at her.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

Jairdain could feel the smile on his face as she stuttered to even ask one question before giving up. His hand on her face brought her out of the little funk she had dropped into while thinking and he pointed out one didn't always have to use their body.

"Yes, but one should be able to use both...maybe even at the same time. I can barely do beginning moves...though I guess I know enough that the Jedi testing me felt me ready to be a knight."

That had been within the Dominion, recovering from being a prisoner. She wondered what happened to Master Dune and that was one person she missed greatly from her time there.

"I want to learn how to at least not hurt myself or an ally if I have to use it."

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

Karl just smiled at her as her thoughts cleared a little and she could make a understandable sentence for him. He would caress her cheek softly as he just listened to her and thought about her words a bit.

​"One should be able to be proficient at both, as in the ability to use them, you do not have to be a master at it. I will teach you as best as I can, but there are better people more qualified then I."

He could sense her thoughts drift as they talked and he just waited for a moment before she continued to talk and he nodded softly to her and then pondered it for a moment or to.

"Then, the only thing we can do to help you achieve your goal."

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

"I'm going to be learning stuff until the day I die, Karl. If there passes a day where I don't, that means I'm dead."

She spoke the words seriously, but since she was so young there was some humor inside her that Karl would probably pick up on it. He nodded before he spoke again to her and said he would help her with her goal.

"How do you propose doing that?"

Raising an eyebrow, it almost appear she was looking at him.

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

"Well, that's a dark way to think about it, but okay then."

He looked at her with an eyebrow raised before he started to wiggle them for her and then chuckled softly holding her closer to him laughing a bit more as he just looked into her eyes.

"Tomorrow, obviously."

Saying this he gave her a big wide grin.

[member="Jairdain"]

 

[Jairdain]

The hand she rested on his cheek felt his facial movements and now she joined in with a chuckle of her own. He pulled her in closer for a hug which she returned. The little warmth inside her flared again at this and she enjoyed the feeling it brought. She let out small sigh and got comfortable being closer to him. Their noses were almost touching.

"I didn't ask the when I asked the how, silly man."

She playfully smacked at him not intending to actually hurt him with her light finger slap to his shoulder. Returning her hand to his cheek, she rested it there to feel his grin.

W​hat do you want to do now?

[member="Karl J. Winters"]

 

[Darth Arkanus]

He smiled softly as he felt her emotions flare up like his own, he loved being close to her, it made him feel warm, and loved, something he hadn't had for a long time. He pressed his lips softly on her forehead as he held her closer. He placed his chin on top of her head and breathed in her scent giving a slight smile as he did so.

"How did you know?"

Smiling at her he pretended to be hurt after she had hit him. He gave her a grin again as he looked at her and smiled more, sending her some more emotions that he was feeling.

What ever you want darling.

[member="Jairdain"]