You Got Something I Need II (Coryth)

[Mirien Valdier]

I know, Mirien had know idea those words could have ever brought her so much relief. Just knowing, knowing that she loved her, without ever the need for her to speak those words meant so much to her.

It was getting harder to breathe through her sobs. Her crying slowly tapering off just by the sheer need for air. Her head aching too along with everything else. But the contact with Siobhan above all else was soothing, the pattern traced across her back, lulling her into a calmness. Still, she didn't move as she clutched at Siobhan's back, pulling her tighter to her.

Then finally she spoke, "I don't ... " A sniffle, "Think I can handle who I was. Knowing ... is so painful. Irony that now I want to forget it all. Forget everything, except what brought me to you and all the moments I've had with you. The rest hurts so much. Who I was ... the things I did. It hurts. Feels like a knife in my heart, just twisting there. It hurts." For a moment she panted for air, getting frustrated how much simple tears took from her. "And ... I know there's a part of me, that is still capable of that. Capable of that kind of horror. A monster lives in me and I know it. She, the old me.... She terrifies me. Because I know there is still a small part of her that lives inside me." It wasn't something she ever thought she'd admit. Mirien had always wanted to find her past, to know the twenty years of her life that were missing. However, the small glimpses that she had now ... It was the past of a monster so evil, so terrible. Was it possible that she could let it go now? Was she done looking for who she had been? It might finally be coming to that.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


I've known for a long time. Words aren't needed...your actions show it. Every time you smile at me, make me laugh. You have a heart, you care, Yes, Siobhan was setting new standards in telepathic mushyness, but it was how she felt.


The pain that Mirien was almost overwhelmning and Siobhan winced as it radiated through their Force bond. A heavy sadness set in on her as it almost seemed like she was sharing in the pain her lover was feeling. You see, Force bonds are not just fun and games. Nonetheless, despite the urge to pull away, she held on to Mirien, for she would not leave her. "It terrifies me as well. That...a woman I love could turn into something so monstrous as well," she admitted aloud. "But...I don't believe you will. I know you won't. You're strong, Mirien, one of the strongest women I know. That's why I love you. You chose not to be her a long time ago. You have a darkness inside you...so have I...but you don't have to be ruled by it. I won't let you...never. You want to know how much I trust you? I let you inside my mind twice...and the first I did not even remember you, yet I just knew I could trust you."


Love was not just about crochet, candlelight dinners and corny romance. Above all it was about acceptance. Of course, in most cases that did not translate into accepting that once upon a time your lover had been a sadistic serial killer before going amnesiac, but though this romance was probably a hell of a lot more complicated than most, the point still stood. It was about accepting the bad and the ugly and having the strength to pull through. As nice as sappy fairy tales where two people instantly fall in love after one date and never once experience conflict were, they were not realistic. Or even particularly interesting, when you thought about it.


Was Siobhan letting Mirien off the hook because of her feelings towards her? Perhaps, but she did not care. Fact was the woman had been nothing but good to her since they met. "I trust you," she repeated again, kissing Mirien on a tear-stained cheek. "And...if you can't trust yourself at the moment....trust in me. And know that I love you. Remember...I carry a part of you inside me...and you of me." They were bound together.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien managed a nod into Siobhan's shoulder at the mental words spoken to her. Siobhan knew before she did, knew by action and deed alone. That in itself meant the worlds to her.

"But, I don't trust me. I can't." Mirien breathed in deeply and squeezed Siobhan even tighter. "There are thoughts .... whispers... in my head and in my heart and that ..." Sniffling she bit at her lip. "I am so afraid that that voice is going to win out someday, and I'll do something you can't forgive." Her worst fear, the thing that scared her more than anything else in the galaxy was herself. A fear she hadn't spoken aloud until today. She never could admit it to herself before this moment. "I love you, too. I'm just really am afraid, of me, of everything. The only thing I am certain of is you."

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


The words Mirien said, the fears she expressed...these were painful to Siobhan. But they were things that needed to be said. It would be all too easy to sweep the uncomfortable details aside, to pretend as if Mirien's darker side did not exist. But that would be ridiculous, stupid and frankly demeaning. Love was not about ignoring the ugliness and looking upon each with rose-tinted glasses. At least not if things were supposed to be healthy.


Rather it also meant accepting the ugliness but being able to see the beauty that lay behind it. "Then trust in me, dear...in us," lost for words for a moment Siobhan raised a hand and placed it upon Mirien's chest, feeling her heart beating against it. "I have a darkness inside me as well...you helped me come to terms with it. Our bond helped me do that. I can't promise that things'll...ever be perfect or you'll ever be free of guilt, but if you fall...I'll be there to catch you. Please, just give yourself a chance." This scene was probably extremely awkward for Coryth to watch.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien laid a hand on top of Sio's upon her heart, just holding it there. "Us. In us. I like that, word. Us.." The slightest hints of a smile showed through on her tear-stained cheeks. A nod followed, acknowledging the darkness inside of Siobhan. She knew it was there, but a part of her simply did not care. There'd been so many dark deeds in her past, so for her... She was in no position to judge. "Promise? Promise you'll be there to catch me?" She had to ask, had to know. One did imagine this conversation was more than a little awkward for Coryth.

"I just ... need to sit down. Need time. Need more than just a few minutes to let this sink in. Still ... in shock. That woman... is ... terrifying."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"I will catch you. I'll never let you fall. Promise," Siobhan said immediately...firmly. With a confidence that had so often escaped her. Though she might not know, Mirien had helped her in so many ways. "Take what time you need. That woman is terrifying...but I'm not afraid of her...I'm not afraid of you," she gave Mirien a gentle kiss on her cheek and then led her to a chair.



She gave Coryth a rather apologetic look. This probably was not the sort of scene the little redhead wanted to be party to. Never mind the fact that Siobhan would not know how her beloved friend felt about her feelings for Mirien. Oh, and Siobhan figured that she really needed to get new panties because the ones she was wearing were very, how shall we put it, sticky. It did not mean anything! "You have been nothing but good to me. This...wasn't the way I wanted to tell you that I love you. There was supposed to be a candlelight dinner, corny music, me in a sexy black dress showing lots of cleavage and with no panties. But I guess I wouldn't have had the courage then."'


Millennia ago, Yoda had said that once you walked the dark path, forever it would dominate your destiny. Did that mean Mirien was damned to succumb to her old ways again? Did that mean Siobhan would inevitably fall with her? Siobhan found that he was full of bollocks.

 

[Coryth Elaris]

And so the dynamic duo was having a rather intimate moment to themselves. One she really had no choice but to listen in on and watch ... Mostly because they were between her and the stairs. For her part, she was so uncertain about the women who had been so cruel to her so long ago. So cruel and heartless. But the woman she saw now so full of fear, terrified of what she might do or had done. With her empathy she could not entirely ignore it, forced to feel some of the powerful pain and terrors Mirien felt. While she didn't particularly like her at the moment, Coryth found her hatred fading near completely. In this moment, nearing indifference with the woman. I feel bad for her. Memories lost, learning she is a monster... Afraid of herself, entirely. I can't imagine what that must be like. I only know what I am feeling .... sensing from her. Because this is just too powerful to block out.

"Look, I ... I hate to interrupt this moment, but maybe we should wait and finish this tomorrow. Mirien seems to need the break to handle this." Finally breaking her silence. As for Siobhan's love for Mirien, she wasn't too sure how she felt about that. But at least, she was passed her wanting to murder Mirien stage it seemed.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Those were exactly what Mirien needed to hear in that moment. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she shyly wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You have no idea, how much I needed to hear that." Closing her eyes she took the offered seat.

A nod followed, "Yeah, wasn't exactly my plan either. But I suppose we both needed to have the issue force, because ... attachments...." Taking in a deep breath she did her best to compose herself. "Attachments, I've avoided for so long. As a ... spy....attachments get people killed. Attachments, love. ... is used against you, as leverage .. as revenge... Never really could have admitted it any other way that I love you. I needed to be pushed." Finally admitted. Even women like Mirien were not always as strong as they appeared. Even women like her needed a push every now and then.

And the redhead broke her silence! Mirien seemed almost startled by her now. A sigh fell from her lips, "Coryth's right, I really .... can't do this right now. I need a break, time to think, pick up the pieces and put me back together again." Boy, did she feel like she'd shattered into a million pieces on the floor and only just now starting to collect herself a small bit.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"], [member="Coryth Elaris"]


"We'll put you back together, piece by piece if needed," Siobhan said gently, nuzzling Mirien's neck for a moment. "We're in this together and no way in hell is that changing," she gave her fellow brunette and lover a last hug and then turned away from her, now finally looking upon the short stack of fire who had broken her silence!


"Yes, a break sounds good. Thanks, Cory. I'm...sorry things went this way. I'll just take Miri to her room and then we can...talk if you want. After I've...had a shower." For some reason Siobhan looked terribly flustered and her cheeks had flushed a bright pink. Her panties were also feeling terribly sticky, to a point where her thighs had gotten rather creamy! Maybe someone needed to explain the concept of bisexuality to her.

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Coryth only shook her head, "It's okay. Chit happens." She said with a shrug as she rose to her feet.

"Also .... about Andreas...." Coryth just had to go there. "Didn't really think about that before we started this. It's not something I talk about much. But uh ... yeah ... Sorry about that." The said with a scarlet hue rapidly spreading across her cheeks.

"But yeah ... talk, upstairs .. I'm heading that way now." Before this all gets more awkward than I really want to deal with. With that in mind, Coryth quickly headed towards the stairs, keen on leaving the basement quick as she could.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien nodded slowly, a sigh escaping her lips. "Thank you, Sio." She purred softly as Siobhan nuzzled her neck. Hugging her tightly in return before letting her go. "We most certainly are." Though she really wasn't too sure how she felt about everything. This being attached thing, was so new to her. So very new.

The former Bando Gora acolyte smirked slightly as she picked up on the conversation between Siobhan and Coryth, and found herself rather amused. Though she thought it best she say nothing this time, and let Coryth let the room unimpeded. After the redhead was gone, she slowly rose to her feet with a heavy sigh.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"], [member="Coryth Elaris"]


Those few words from Coryth had the result of turning Sio very, very flustered. Her cheeks also turned scarlet, to a point where she bore a resemblance to a lobster. "Err...yeah, it's ok, not your fault. Just, uh, awkward. Didn't expect things to be...vivid like that. Or that you were so adventurous. You put straight thoughts in my head...so I'll just be scarred a tad. " she could not look any more embarrassed even if she tried.


Then again, saying 'While I was surfing for your memories, I had sex with your very male fiancee. And despite being a lesbian I enjoyed it. I'm sorry, I won't do it again. But it's sort of your fault anyway!' was probably rather awkward. Anyhow, fortunately Coryth left the room and Siobhan managed to compose herself a bit. Then again, the little redhead might have gotten...images of Sio's time with Adril or Tegaea!


Anyhow, Sio finally managed to get over her angst and focus on Mirien again. "Anyhow, let's get you to bed. Come on, honey," she said, tone warm again as she took her lover's hand and gently guided her up the stairs out of her basement, supporting her along the way.

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Coryth wandered to her own room. So many thoughts racing through her mind, between Mirien and Siobhan. What they all had seen and felt. She pitied Mirien, for sure. For the experience, being an empath she had felt it all. There was little to do to escape it, such powerful emotions. With a sigh she closed her door behind her, and went to her bed flopping on her back to stare at the ceiling just thinking through it all. Can't really hate her after that ... But I still don't like her. Well.... I guess I'm more indifferent than anything else.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Squeezing Siobhan's hand, she followed along beside her leaning against her shoulder as they headed up the stairs towards her bedroom. "Bed sounds so good, you have no idea." She said softly as they headed upstairs to her own room. Rest was all she wanted, to somehow work through what was happened, and rest. She sighed softly, "What a mess of a life."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"Come on, sweetie," Siobhan sighed softly as she guided Mirien to her bedroom. "There, if you need anything...call the maids. And now rest." If Mirien needed suppot she would help the former Inquisitor lie down in bed, and presumably tuck her in under the covers because Siobhan was mushy and caring like that.


She bent down to plant a gentle kiss on Mirien's lips, whilst her hand reached out to cup her cheek. "I'll be there when you wake up tomorrow...and the day after and, well you get the picture. Never doubt that I love you. Even if at the moment you can't love yourself. You're my Miri, I'm your Sio" As she spoke these words Siobhan tried to concentrate as she sank into their bond. It took a good deal of concentration, but soon Mirien's mind would be receiving some rather interesting images and feelings, specifically of some fun time the two lovebirds and Tegaea had spent together.


Siobhan let out a long sigh before she withdrew. "You're the woman who healed my mind. I don't hate you," she said again, tone softer. For now at least the part of her that questioned all this was silent. For good or ill, they were bound together and it was a connection she did not want to break if she could help it. Even if Mirien could not trust herself, Siobhan did. When one thought about it, being bonded like this was sort of like being married a second time. Then she turned away, quietly walking out of the room because her panties had become unbearably sticky and she wanted to hit the showers before chatting to Coryth.

 

[Mirien Valdier]

Mirien sighed too, stepping into her bedroom with Sio. "I will, but I don't think I'll need anything. I just want sleep." The woman shook her head slowly, still not believing what had transpired all of it was still a shock in her system. Her body slowly catching up to her mind.

Laying and tucked in, she smiled softly to Siobhan. The kiss reminding her of the love they shared. "I promise Siobhan, I won't doubt it. Hell I can feel it between us. There is no denying it with the bond we share." A soft chuckle came, "Your Miri. I like that." A thought that warmed her hard, Sio's Miri. She belonged, and was loved. Finally. Finally Mirien belonged somewhere, and had found love. Something she'd been looking for her entire life and now here it was. Right in front of her.

Mirien smiled softly, "That means the galaxy to me, cause right now I sure as hell hate myself."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Mirien Valdier"]


"Then I'll just have to love you silly till you realise how much you deserve it. I am your Sio after all," Siobhan spke softly, before she left the room. Needless to say her first destination was the shower. After all, she had been contaminated and really needed a wash, which meant that she could finally remove her sticky panties. It did not mean anything not at all! That said, Coryth's fiancee had been a good kisser...and, well, great in the sack. No, so not going there!


Anyway, suffice to say that eventually Siobhan was thoroughly cleaned and managed to get over her sexual identity issues, which frankly could easily be resolved though she might require some prodding, and headed over to [member="Coryth Elaris"]' oom. She was so polite to knock on the door before entering. "Hey," she said, feeling a bit awkward as she stepped in. "I feel I should apologise. This...really wasn't the way I expected things to go. On many levels. Chit happens I guess," as she spoke these words she sat down on the bed.


"Still...I'd like to thank you, for, well, holding off on Mirien. I saw what she did to you when I was in your mind. Actually, that's not quite true, I felt your pain your there, as if it was me," she admitted. "That's actualy another thing I feel we should talk about. I think if we continue with the memory procedure as before, there's a chance...we may end up linked. Us three really. It was similar when Mirien and I bonded. I didn't mention it before because I...didn't think things would be this vivid when I entered your mind. Guess I overestimated myself a bit."

 

[Coryth Elaris]

Coryth rolled over, and sat up slowly. "Hey..." She replied with equal awkwardness felt. It couldn't be helped after everything.

For a moment she was quiet, then finally nodded. She sighed heavily shaking her head. "No, it's alright. I didn't ... didn't expect this to go the way it did either." Another sigh. "I didn't know I knew her. Didn't know that was her. But yeah, chit happens."

The redhead closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose for a second. "I shouldn't have hit her. Should have been in better control of myself." Coryth said firmly, knowing her ethics and morals didn't let her just kill on a whim. It had to be the last resort. It had to be after she'd tried other methods, and lastly her opponent needed to be armed. She was a Jedi for a reason, still sticking strictly to those morals that had been so driven into her. "I'm sorry you had to experience that pain. I know it couldn't have been easy." Another sigh, "The fact is ... I can't hate her... After feeling all of that, the conversation between you two... Siobhan, I pity her. To learn like that, that you were once pure evil and not remember ... Not know your reasoning, why you were that way .. I can't imagine her pain but I sure as hell felt it."

Silence passed between them as the redhead thought about Siobhan's words. She wasn't certain she wanted to be bonded, force bonded to Siobhan, much less Mirien. Mirien she was just now to indifferent with and Siobhan, well she loved Siobhan. But her mind was at stake. "Siobhan, my mind is on the line. I can't lose what I have. While I don't want to be bonded to Mirien and the idea of being bonded with ... anyone frightens me... It's a risk I'm willing to take. My mind has to be protected." Her confidence growing a little more as she spoke. "Some risks have to be taken and this .. this I am willing to do."

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]

 

[Siobhan Kerrigan]

[member="Coryth Elaris"]


"Cory, sweetie, please don't be so hard on yourself. You're a Jedi, but that doesn't mean you're not human. You stopped yourself when it mattered. I wouldn't have had the same self-control if it had been Kaelin. There's a reason I was a piss-poor Jedi and you're a great one," Siobhan said, blunt as usual, but then some things were best expressed that way. Being a very emotional woman, it was obviously always difficult for her to see two people she cared about so deeply at odds.


At Coryth's following words, after the awkward silence had passed, she nodded, gently taking one of Coryth's little hands into hers. "Ok. If you're fine with it, then I am. I just...don't want to make you uncomfortable. Because we'd share everything...there's plenty of things I've done I'm not proud of. We're also...kind of opposites on the Force alignment scale. This is supposed to be a home...a safe place for you after all you went through. It was awkward for me at first after I realised I was bonded to Mirien. Had difficulty separating which were my real memories and which had only bled over from her. Of course there are...advantages," she gave Coryth a wink at that, then she planted a soft, loving kiss upon her lips.

 

[Coryth Elaris]

The redhead sighed, "I'm trying. It's just hard, and damn conflicting. I'm not supposed to hate, or want to murder... but those thoughts are there sometimes." She gave a shrug, "It bothers me, a lot." You see, Coryth was still human and still had the same thoughts everyone else did. Somehow, someway she managed to resist. Most of the time. Finally she nodded, "I guess so, still feel bad for hitting her. It was .. just almost instinctual."

Coryth nodded again. "Yeah, I am okay with it. If it happens, it happens. I'll figure out how to manage it from there." A sigh again. "I know. It could be ... complicated." That was the understatement of the century. Gently she returned the kiss. "I'm sure there are." The wink returned as she pulled away.

[member="Siobhan Kerrigan"]