Alderaan, Shades of Grey

[Verrin Ris'To]

Verrin nearly jumped when she moved her face to help him blow on it to dry it, but he kept working trying to keep his eyes on the gel as he wasn't sure what to do or say in this situation. It was... truly a new experience. "Uh thanks..." Verrin looked up to meet her eyes again, "Y-Your welcome," he whispered very aware of how close their faces were.

He slowly let go of her arm and straightened up putting distance between them once more. It was dangerous... too dangerous, "I.. should go," Verrin said, his bright blue eyes swept over her face again.

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"Uh right... sorry to keep you here... uh is there anything more that you need help with, or need help getting back to the compound or anything..." She rubbed her neck as she still didn't look at him fully, honestly she had no idea why she was acting like that, normally she didnt find anything like this embarrassing. It was just odd that he was spending the effort to help her with the small wound and then himself getting a bit embarrassed himself. "Only if you need help that is as repayment for helping with my wound. @Verrin Ris'To

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"Uh right... sorry to keep you here... uh is there anything more that you need help with, or need help getting back to the compound or anything..." Verrin shook his head, his long hair flaying a little at his sudden motion, "No, I don't want you to get in trouble if the other Jedi see you, I can make it back... Will you be okay to get back your home?"

"Only if you need help that is as repayment for helping with my wound." He blinked a few times as his mind wrapped around what she had said, "Oh, you don't need to repay me for that. I owe you if anything. Helping you with it was because I caused it... don't feel like you owe me anything."

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"Dont worry about the Jedi doing anything to me, i know several of the masters well like men named Dragonsflame and Vulpesen... and i know these forest like the back of my hand, its the least i could do for helping me none the less as you didnt have to." She rubbed her uninjured arm as she stood there, waiting for the answer from the man. @Verrin Ris'To

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"Dont worry about the Jedi doing anything to me, i know several of the masters well like men named Dragonsflame and Vulpesen... and i know these forest like the back of my hand, its the least i could do for helping me none the less as you didnt have to." Verrin wasn't sure as he was still worried she may get in trouble, but if she knew some Jedi Masters then maybe she would be okay, "I don't mind the company."

Hesitating for a moment, he offered out his arm as that was the polite thing to do when walking with a woman, wasn't it? He held out his arm so that her uninjured one would be the arm to take it as he didn't want to make her feel any pain or discomfort, "When your ready," he said offering a small smile.

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

She nodded and took a second before taking his arm and turning her head again as she reddened. Her voice sounded though and she masked her reason for looking to the side by staring at her arm and talking about it. "How long does it take for the gel to work by the way." Her eyes glanced back at him as she said that, her eyes staring at him for another moment as she walked with him.

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

He gave her a small nodded, but he didn't think she saw it since she suddenly looked away from him. Had it been wrong to extend his arm to her? The closeness was a little embarrassing and intimate, but he hadn't meant to insult her or make her feel uncomfortable. He just thought this was the polite thing to do when walking with a woman outdoors. Her arm and hand seemed so... small compared to his. Verrin had noticed something similar when he was putting the gel on her wound, but they were so close; the difference between their sizes was made obvious. Despite how she felt more mature and experienced then him, so felt so small holding his arm.

"How long does it take for the gel to work by the way." Verrin was shaken from his thoughts, "Not long. The pain usually fades right after, and the burn should go away in a few hours to a couple of days depending on how bad it is... yours shouldn't take too long," Verrin said, at least, her wound should't take very long to heal.

The walk wouldn't be long, but he still wanted to know more about her, "Why do you live alone out here?"

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"I dont belong with the Jedi, i am not like you or your masters, nor am i like the Sith. I do make trips to cities often and meet others but its nice out here... i live alone because i have no family, or those that are close enough to me to live in the same place." She looked at him as they walked and thought to herself for a few seconds before speaking. "Why did you join the Jedi... or did they bring you at a young age to the temple?" @Verrin Ris'To

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"My mother gave me up to the Order a little after my younger sister was born," He said closing his eyes for a second to remember, "That was over a decade ago." He still wasn't sure why he was given up while his sister, another force sensitive that he had yet to truly meet, was kept home. Was it because she was a hybrid, and so didn't face the same problems he did? He didn't know much about hybrids like his sister, but he doubted any one, even his other kind on his home planet did, they were very rare. It had been awhile since he last thought about that...

"Doesn't it get lonely out here by yourself?" Verrin asked, even if she went out to town and had visitors he couldn't quite grasp sleeping with no one around then she was pregnant, didn't the father come to visit? He had a feeling asking about that would be crossing some line.

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"I see, a victim of the child stealing then... excuse me, i shouldn't have said that, i just find such a thing to be wrong." She looked at him as she said that. "Its just, i don't see the point of taking a child before it has the right to decide for itself and to understand what the Jedi order meant. And its commitments..." She walked, though she had never been a Jedi she had seen them enough and read a good deal. "As for why i am alone. Yes it gets lonely, there are nights where i sit out and just study the stars of the night or just meditate. I get the occasional visitor... and have a few students, but that is not the same thing as otherwise visits from my friends in the Jedi order..." He took a moment to pause and thought about something. "If you have another question you can ask it, i will answer it, don't worry about your insulting me."

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"I see, a victim of the child stealing then... excuse me, i shouldn't have said that, i just find such a thing to be wrong." Verrin turned his head to look at her for a few minutes, not sure what to make of that. Some of the children he met hadn't had a choice as they were orphans, but child stealing? That was... a way to look at it, "Its just, i don't see the point of taking a child before it has the right to decide for itself and to understand what the Jedi order meant. And its commitments..." There was a lot of commitments, he couldn't deny that. So many that it was a little suffocating at times, but it also gave him a purpose.

"My mother gave me up," Verrin said looking away as, for some reason, it always hurt to say that, "They gave her a choice... like most parents, and she agreed. But it is probably for the best as I have to spend hours every day centering myself, so I can control myself from my races more... baser instincts."

"As for why i am alone. Yes it gets lonely, there are nights where i sit out and just study the stars of the night or just meditate. I get the occasional visitor... and have a few students, but that is not the same thing as otherwise visits from my friends in the Jedi order..." He wasn't sure, but he did take comfort in knowing she did have visitors more often then he thought. Being alone all the time would be... well, he didn't go out of his way to talk to some of his fellow Jedi, but they were still there, within reach.

"If you have another question you can ask it, i will answer it, don't worry about your insulting me." Had she felt his hesitancy? Or was she used to the question? Taking a small breath, he voiced the question that had been tugging at the edge of his mind, "Doesn't the father of your child visit? I mean, there has to be something special right. A bond?"

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"Well, to tell the truth the way in which the whole pregnancy thing is going is not natural, i made a deal to hold a baby for an old friend. Its growth is accelerated and to be honest i probably wont do it again unless truly a child that will be mine... i know, it probably sounds horrible doing such a disgusting thing, i honestly held no reserve against it though in the beginning." She paused for about a minute, just walking with him as she did. "I hold no attachment for the person i am doing this for, not to the degree that something like this will go to the point of true commitment... but i still am doing this for her none the less." She had slipped the gender of the person without revealing the name or person in the least.

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"Well, to tell the truth the way in which the whole pregnancy thing is going is not natural, i made a deal to hold a baby for an old friend. Its growth is accelerated and to be honest i probably wont do it again unless truly a child that will be mine... i know, it probably sounds horrible doing such a disgusting thing, i honestly held no reserve against it though in the beginning." Verrin nodded to show he understood... kind of. How was the growth being accelerated? "It won't hurt the child will it?" He asked as he would never want a child to be harmed, unborn or not, because someone else wished to have their child's growth accelerated.

"I hold no attachment for the person i am doing this for, not to the degree that something like this will go to the point of true commitment... but i still am doing this for her none the less." Her? If it was a woman, was there a reason she couldn't carry the child? Was she unable or was it dangerous? He did feel a little better that it was a woman who wanted the child, he wasn't sure why, but it fit better, "What did you want in return for carrying her child?"

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"I know not if the child will be harmed by the process, though i have a pretty good feeling that it wont be. The person that this is for is on the opposite spectrum as you though... a Sith, and before you begin preaching remember i shy from neither side, light nor dark..." She sighed, having to look up as she spoke to him. "As for the knowledge in which i am doing this force is that of force lightning, that is the only reason. Not for money or power, such material things for what i am doing would make me just as bad as them."

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"I know not if the child will be harmed by the process, though i have a pretty good feeling that it wont be. The person that this is for is on the opposite spectrum as you though... a Sith, and before you begin preaching remember i shy from neither side, light nor dark... As for the knowledge in which i am doing this force is that of force lightning, that is the only reason. Not for money or power, such material things for what i am doing would make me just as bad as them." Verrin stopped walking... he wasn't sure what to think about that. She had just been talking about Jedi stealing children, and it being wrong, but she was willing to hand over an infant to the Sith... If he had a child growing inside of him, even if it wasn't his own, could he really hand it over to someone who would, most likely, use it as a tool? A means to gain more power? And just to learn to fire lightning from his hands? To force the child to walk a path of darkness with a mother who refused to carry them?

"A-Are you sure... you would want to do that? You really think that is right?" He asked trying to keep his voice level.

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"I never said it was right... and i really don't know if i want to do it but to tell the truth its not like a child of like you and perceive as such will be born. Its some bio-engineered thing..." She sighed and detached herself from him so that she may sit down and breath in deeply before letting it out slowly. "Sorry, probably shouldn't have mentioned any of that, let me guess. You're thinking that i'm a monster, no better than the one that asked for me to do this, no better than the Sith as a whole. Right?"

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"I never said it was right... and i really don't know if i want to do it but to tell the truth its not like a child of like you and perceive as such will be born. Its some bio-engineered thing..." Verrin sat down opposite of her to face her, "Sorry, probably shouldn't have mentioned any of that, let me guess. You're thinking that i'm a monster, no better than the one that asked for me to do this, no better than the Sith as a whole. Right?"

"You haven't done anything yet," He said, watching her with his blue eyes, "But this child... is yours as well. It may be created artificially, and it may not hold your DNA, but the life is growing within you. You are carrying it, and you will be the first thing it sees when it comes into this world. It is your child as well... You will be a mother."

Verrin looked up at the sky then back to her, "I am not a master, and I am not the wisest or as well traveled as some... and I don't pretend to know everything, but light or dark... If you are going to do this then I hope you do it because you think it is the right thing to do. I can't, and won't, try to stop you from doing this," Verrin reached out, stopping for a second as he didn't know if he should or if it was wrong to, but he reached out to grab her hand, "But I won't lie to you. I hate the idea that you are willing to sell this unborn child, your unborn child, no matter what shape it takes, just so you can use a power that will only be able to destroy. Trading life you helped created for a tool that you can only use to destroy... doesn't feel right."


[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

She closed her eyes as he spoke, saying nothing the entire time that he spoke on her choices... the very things she herself wondered. When he finished she said nothing and just looked down at her hand that he was holding, her eyes shaking ever so slightly as she sat there before speaking to him. "Have you ever heard of the Sith ability to transfer their souls into a new body?"

 

[Verrin Ris'To]

"No, I haven't," Verrin said, but his heart told him that it didn't sound good. Was that what the Sith was going to do? To crush a new life to perserve their own? He never knew such a technique could exist, but then, it didn't surprise him that he never heard of it as that wasn't the kind of technique he would have been exposed to as, well, it was wrong.

"Is that what she intends to do?" He asked, but he felt he already knew the answer.

[member="Alexandra Cinthra"]

 

[Alexandra Feanor]

"Did. Past tense." She glanced at the bulge she contained, the implication very clear as to what she meant as she sat there and sighed to herself. She still didnt seem to pay mind to his hand holding hers, no instead the thought of if she ever should have accepted running through her mind as she contemplated her options for a few good moments.