Corrupt A Wish

[Jalek Ares]

Granted: You multi-task so excessively that you die from exhaustion.

I wish I could become the Sith Emperor.

 

[Fabula Caromed]

You are now the Sith Emperor. Unfortunately, you're dyslexic, so you continuously misspell "Sith" in the most insulting manner possible.

I wish my friends weren't using my couch as cover against their own C4 escapades.

I shouldn't wish while gaming...

 

[The Hound]

Granted they use you as cover against their own C4 escapades.

I wish I was the best pilot in the Republic fleet. Oh wait ;D
I wish I was the Dragonborn.

 

[Sienna Vekarr]

Granted but on your adventures you are devoured alive by a horde of skeevers in some crypt no one has ever heard of and you die a slow painful death. Alone and in the cold darkness.

I wish I was rich again....

 

[Axiom]

granted- You are now known as Rich Again..and have no credits to change your name back.
I wish I was invincible.

 

[Serana Onyx]

Granted: But while your body is invincible, your age isn't. You grow so old you turn to dust. But are still alive. You are forced to live forever as all those you love die around you.

I wish I was Morigan from Dragon Age. <3 I am a lesbian for her.

 

[Onrai]

Granted. Her child becomes the Archdemon and devours you all.

I wish every woman in the universe was fit and sexy.

 

[Serana Onyx]

Granted: You are the ugliest man in the Galaxy, thus no one wanting to be with you.

I wish for the most creative death possible.

 

[Jack Sparrow]

Granted: you die by falling out of an airspeeder onto the back of a Krayt dragon. The dragon flies thorough a fireworks display, catching numerous rockets before they explode. Off-balance and angry, the dragon swoops down and collect two fistfuls of clowns who are in the process of spraying each other with seltzer bottles. One of the clowns kicks the disc jockey who dies instantly of a broken neck, but not before his digital system auto cues "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince. With seltzer and clown blood spraying everywhere, the dragon rises into the sky, reaching his apogee just as the fireworks detonate and the now-pilotless land speeder somehow crashes into him, blowing up on impact. The clowns explode in a riot of color, drenching you with their entrails and confetti as you finally fall from the beast's back. You strike the ground with a wet thump just as "Let's Go Crazy" ends with it's final power chord/cymbal crash.

Unfortunately, this was a private rehearsal, and anyone who might have seen it is dead.

I wish I had a beer that was less filling AND tasted great.

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Granted. It's sadly poisonous.

I wish I wasn't out of cokes, dammit. :\

 

[Sienna Vekarr]

Granted, but they are all rigged to set off a nuke that resides under your home if you open one.

I wish Animal Crossing: New Leaf would download faster...

 

[Menoetius]

Granted, but there's a virus in the download that makes your computer explode.

I wish I could eat raw chicken without getting food poisoning.

 

[Fabula Caromed]

Technically granted. You can now eat raw chicken. You just get actual poisoning instead.

Wish my sammich would cool downn enough that I could eat it.

 

[Serana Onyx]

Granted: It becomes so could you freeze upon touching it.

I wish for a good anti-joke.

 

[Wolan Tsomcren]

Wish granted: Yo momma's so fat, that even if we cut her head off she'd still weigh as much as Barry White!

I wish that feminists would dissapear from the face of the Earth.

 

[Fabula Caromed]

I really, really don't want to corrupt this one.

Ah well. Feminists disappear, but afterwards you discover in horror that Joss Whedon, Niel Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Hugh Jackman are gone. I hope you're happy!

I wish for absolution.

 

[Serana Onyx]

Granted: You die. I got nothing else in my mind lolz

I wish I wasn't single and my boyfriend was the most handsome man in the galaxy.

 

[Menoetius]

Granted, but he turns out to be a womanizing prick.

I wish I was an egg.

 

[Verz Horak]

Granted but you get fried ad eaten.

I wish I had some cheese.

 

[Wolan Tsomcren]

Wish granted, You receive cheese made over 300 years ago and mold is clearly being shown.

I wish that Ryan Gosling was gay