Cosmic Castaway

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Kurt could be cocky, but he rarely ever thought about how things could swing in the worse way. Well, more like he simply did his best to try and move past them. To not think about them.

Much like Kaile was doing now.

"Alright..." although her tone of voice suggested that Kaile wasn't one hundred percent certain of this.

"You taking any protection just in case?"

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

He frowned for a moment, glancing at her. Kaile had always been careful, but never overly so. Generally she trusted him, she wasn't ever brash or careless...but she'd also always been the one most hopeful of adventure. When they'd found that bunker she'd wanted to explore it just as much as him.

Was this another part of what had happened? Was she more careful now...cautious?

For a moment Kurt said nothing, then finally he motioned towards the glove-box right in front of her. "There is an emergency beacon in there. If we hit it my father will know something is wrong, if we're gone longer than six hours it'll activate automatically. My father can use it to track us."

His father wasn't stupid, though in truth the beacon was more of a preparation in case of sandstorms or Krayt Dragon attacks rather than the Tuskens. Still it would serve the same purpose, and hopefully it would put Kaile's mind at a little more ease. "There's also a survival kit in the back."

Another thing his father had provided.

"I have my blaster too." Though if they needed to use that he doubted it would be much help. "So don't worry."

He smiled at her again. "Meyer's always come prepared."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Meyers always come prepared.

Yeah. They did. Guess in Kaile's situation, they didn't back in Bimmsaari. The Lorrdian became quiet, her head turning to glance outside of the pod's viewport.

What else was there to say?

What else was there to do? Bobo gave a small nudge with his jaw alongside the woman's neck. Kaile didn't respond.

One hour. This was going to take one hour. It was an hour out of their day. Didn't stop any of the hurt.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

The trip was spent in dreadful silence, at least most of it.

Kurt wasn't really entirely sure what to say after his comment, and by the look of Kaile she didn't exactly feel like talking either. Part of him couldn't blame her, but another part felt a slight hint of anger. It wasnt her fault of course, she couldnt help it and she had every right to feel as devastated as she did, but Kurt missed his friend. He missed her smile, her laugh.

He missed who Kaile was.

His fingers tightened on the controls of his speeder, but he let none of the emotion show on his face or anywhere else. Kaile could read him. Had always been able to read him. It was a fact he was very conscious of, and he tried his best to give off only feelings of calm and confidence.

”Look.” He pointed to his left.

There atop one of the great dunes rested a Krayt Dragon Skeleton, white gone having long since been bleached by blazing sun.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

This was all making Kurt uncomfortable.

Kaile bit her lip. He might be doing his best to hide his emotions but the Lorrdian was able to read him better than most. Even when he was shining her a smile, Kaile could tell he was upset. Hurt. Confused and angry.

He wasn't the only one.

Part of her wasn't sure how to respond. Silenced ended up being the sea that went wedging between them. At least until Kurt gestured for Kaile's attention.

It took a moment for her to register the great form, the Krayt Dragon bones were set in a way that allowed it to blend into the dunes so well. It was the slight shift and the angle of the light that finally did it that cast a light to the sun-bleached bones.

There was wonder in her gaze, a bit of fear as well. It was enormous. What could have killed it? Were they more?

"Would there be more near it?"

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Kurt shook his head. "Not likely."

To begin with Krayt Dragons were solitary animals. They really only met up with one another when they were breeding, and even that was a rare enough event given that the monsters lived for thousands upon thousands of years.

Kurt had no idea how long that one had been there, mostly because he'd have to get quite a bit closer to actually do that. The bleach white bones and the general disrepair of the skeleton were clue enough however. Still, it was something to see. Krayt Dragons were magnificent creatures to say the least.

"They're solitary." He explained. "And that one's been dead a while."

He gave it one last glance as they passed by. "Probably got uncovered by the last storm, that happens a lot out here. The tuskens sometimes use the skeletons for stuff."

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

“Oh.”

So the remains were reused in some form or another. Turning back around to watch the fading bleached bones as they flew on, Kaile bit her lower lip.

Bobo gave a poke of his head through the strands of strawberry blonde hair, watching the view. He would only be able to wander upon her shoulder for about an hour or so before needing to go back into his nutrient tube. Any longer and he would start to starve. The numbness of the Force Kaile felt when he was with her was a welcome reprieve, but it also made her feel all the more disconnected to the ‘verse. To Kurt. To everything.

Kaile felt herself mentally recess into a sea of turbulent thoughts.

Would there be another sand storm? What else would they find out here? There seemed to be just an endless mass of sand with only a few scattered sage brushes and Womp Rats roaming free. The deeper they went into the Wastes the less likely they were going to be able to use sensors or coms. Natural ores within the ground would distort long range scanners. Another reason why so many could just disappear on Tatooine.

Swallowing hard, Kaile took a breath.

Just what am I supposed to do now?

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Silenced reigned in the speeder, and this time there was no Krayt Dragon skeleton to break it.

Kurt had never minded sitting in silence with Kaile before. She was one of the few people he could be around and not say a single word, but right now? Right now it felt almost painful. This wasn't his Kaile, this wasn't his friend, this wasn't the person that he'd been living with. In a way it felt like she was a foreign entity, a ghost that was just standing in the place of his friend. It hurt him, even more so because he knew there was nothing he could do about it.

He coughed slightly, some dust catching in his throat for a moment. He patted his chest a few times, glancing over towards Kaile.

"I Uh.." Kurt trailed off almost immediately.

What the kark was he supposed to say? What the kark was he supposed to do? Everything felt upside down, and he just wanted things to be right side up. His grip tightened on the controls again and slowly he glanced at the desert in front of him. His teeth sunk into his tongue.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

Here it was again. The silence. The uncomfortable cloud that seemed to linger between them. There was no hiding how uncomfortable Kurt was feeling now.

His aura of uncomfortableness was making Kaile hyperaware of it all again. Her eyes began to blur.

“I think I’m gonna need to break away for a bit.” words that would break the silence. But what it meant, well, held a measure of definitiveness.

“I ain’t doing anyone any good being here. I’m not myself. Don’t know if I ever will be.” the hum of the pod seemed to grow louder while Kaile’s voice waned.

It was a tragic amalgam of feeling restless and utterly lost. And honestly, all she was doing was making Kurt feel worse.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Kurt's heart sank in an instant.

Sure he was frustrated, maybe even a little mad...but not at her. Kurt didn't want Kaile to go anywhere, he didn't want her to leave and he most certainly didn't want her to do so because of him. For a few moments Kurt remained quiet, his mind running with half a dozen thoughts, and then suddenly he pulled the speeder to a stop.

The noise of the engine died, reduced to a quiet hum.

"No." Kurt's tone was quiet, terse, just loud enough to hear over the muted thrum. He couldn't control her of course, wouldn't want to even if he was forced to the very edge, but he couldn't allow for this. He couldn't let her leave or go anywhere. She was barely getting up, barely walking around. Kurt couldn't stand the idea of her leaving. The Courier tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his eyes cast down at the dash board just beyond the controls.

"You can't." He said as if it were simple fact. "Not now."

Not when she was still in a thousand little pieces.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

"I need to." the reply was quiet, barely a whisper and half choked in the end. She felt lost. She felt as if there was floating along the black with no real guidance on what to do. It was troubling her. It was troubling Kurt. Heck, her mind was a funnel of dark thoughts and to be honest she wasn't quite sure where to go with it.

Emotions felt under siege, and her eyes began to water. Hot pin pricks stung her eyes and bore her gaze outside the viewport to the distant beyond. Nothing but sand and dunes out there with the intense baking heat of the overlooking Twin Suns.

"I'm all out of sorts. Got no direction. I ain't feeling like doing anything but settling on it just makes me want to..."

Run.

Her throat felt as if she swallowed a massive apple core. It bobbed, her shoulders shaking as a deep breath filled her lungs.

"I can't stay here."

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

He frowned.

The grip he had on the controls felt tight and loose at the same time. His hands were shaking, his knuckles were white. What was he supposed to do? Say? Kaile wanted to go, she wanted to be away, but where? How? Was she going alone? Did she want to go alone?

She had said break away, but did that mean break away from him? Would she throw herself back into the SIS, work for the Galactic Alliance and get herself killed doing one undercover mission after another? Kurt couldn't stand that, he couldn't let that happen. A violent breath finally filled his lungs as he realized he couldn't breath anymore, his head swimming for a moment before he finally looked at Kaile, his expression a mixture of disbelief and anguish.

"What will you do?" There was no bite to his tone. "Where will you go?"

He couldn't just let her get herself killed.

She was a trained operative, he knew that, but the galaxy was dangerous and she...she was his best friend. "You can't just..."

Kurt trailed off, biting his tongue.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

It was ironic. Kurt Meyer had spent the past few years of his life running away from his past. From the mass of death and guilt and the blood on his hands during his time as a Republic Naval Officer. He had also been wrent in two. He had also gone through the turbulent nightmares and emotional uphurdels and had decided that his best option was to run. To not think about the past. To try his best to forget.

To keep on flying and fly as far as he could so the past could never come back to get him.

Now it was Kaile who was suffering much as she. Now it was Kaile wanting to run.

Each knuckle white flex of Kurt’s hands on the steering wheel were like an ice dagger to the Lorrdian. His entire body language was screaming in confusion, despair, residual anger, and fear. It was almost too palatable.

“Sullust.” where else could she go? Her home was with Kurt, but right now after all the preparations they had made only to have lost Quinn…

It was painful.

Kaile’s throat gave a heavy bob.

“It hurts, K-kurt.” a choked sob and her body seemed to crumple against itself again.

“I can’t. I just can’t.” and her being broken to pieces was only hurting him more. Who else will she end up ruining in the end? Kurt is her best friend… but she was hurting him as much as she had in the past. Everything was just falling apart.

Not now. The grief was too real. Too consuming. To dark.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Kurt's already injured hand slammed into the steering wheel.

Pain lanced through his fingers, but he didn't care. He slammed his hand against the controls again, and then again. There was a loud crack as the plastic eventually buckled and gave way, part of the control panel breaking off and shattering onto the floor.

The Courier had never been one to display anger, not like this, but what else was he to do. His rage wasn't direct at Kaile, in fact he wasn't even really mad at her. The thing that enraged him so was the situation, the fact that she was right, the fact that he couldn't do anything at all to change it. The fact that he was worthless.

That he had let her down.

His fingers curled in agony, drawing into a fist as he reached with his other hand and opened the door of the speeder.

Kurt took a step out, half stumbling as he wrapped his shattered hand around his stomach. He wanted to say more, do more, but he knew he couldn't. He knew that Kaile was right, that she couldn't stay here, that she had to do something to occupy herself. Sullust meant the Alliance, and the Alliance meant the SIS, and that meant danger for Kaile. He couldn't stand the thought of it, he couldn't stand the idea of his friend throwing herself in the midst of danger after all of this.

He was losing his best friend.

Without a word Kurt stepped into the desert, stepping away from the speeder as a deep sob pulled form his lungs.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Kurt Meyer"]

There was no halting the visible jerking flinch Kaile gave at Kurt's slamming of his hand against the steering wheel. The sickening crack along with the bruising and the savage, wretched scowl carving the pilot's face was that last bit that made Kaile fall apart. Through blurry, red rimmed eyes, Kaile watched her best friend wretch himself from his seat and storm outside.

His entire body was carved in lines of despair, agony, and edged with anger. At the situation. At faith. At everything that managed to get them to this exact moment in time. Kaile felt absolutely terrible. One hand rose as if to go reaching out towards Kurt only to pull away. This was worse, far worse than when she had first left Tatooine.

How does one even fix this? Would it ever?

Part of Kaile knew she was just pushing Kurt away, but another said that she was just making him feel worse. Her lips gave a tremble, big fat tears rolling down her grimy cheeks. Bobo gave a little pat along her neck, but for once, Kaile just felt inconsolable.

It just felt as if her 'verse was falling apart.

"I'm sorreh." sorry. So sorry. Sorry for hurting him. Sorry for Asmus who would never even know the truth.

Sorry for the life that never had the chance to be born.

 

[Kurt Meyer]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

For a long time Kurt was quiet.

He knew Kaile was behind him, he heard her voice, what she said. It stung him, hurt him, but he knew that she didn't do this to him. She wasn't leaving because she wanted to get away from him, she was doing this because she wanted to get away from life, get away from what had happened. He frowned for a moment, his hand still sending rippling tides of agony up his arm. Over and over again it pulsed in pain.

She was going back to it, undercover work. She was going to fight for the Alliance, fly around in freighters, fighters, doing stupid things that would get her killed.

Kurt wouldn't be able to help her anymore. He wouldn't be able to aid her in escapes, he wouldn't be able to pick her up after a mission. He wouldn't be able to protect in in any way at all. His unbroken hand curled into a fist, his eyes closing as he took deep breaths. He tried to calm himself, he tried to make his voice as even as possible. Kurt was angry, he was sad, he was every emotion on the negative spectrum, but Kaile was still his friend.

His best friend.

"You're taking The Messa." His voice was low, almost too low for her to hear.

"I can't go with you." This time he trembled slightly. "I...can't protect you."

No, he couldn't. She wanted to leave it all behind, throw herself into her work, but Kurt couldn't just let her run off. The Alliance didn't care about her, not really. They didn't care that she lived, only that the mission got done. So while Kurt couldn't go with her, he could at least ensure that she had one of the best tools for the job. More than that though, The Messa was home, for the both of them. It was a little piece of the life they had lived together. "But The Messa can."

In an odd way at least.

"It can outrun any TIE Fighter, any Star Destroyer, anything you might encounter." That wasn't a boast. "You take The Messa."

His voice trembled again. "And remember it has only one Home Port."

Tatooine, him, Kaile's family.