Still The Same, But Different

[Connor Harrison]

Connor sipped his water, little but often, letting the days gone by sink into his memory and now facing another surreal moment – having Taeli in his quarters. Time moved so fast, and for Connor it seemed to be moving faster; always someone to talk to, to teach, train or fight with. He never seemed to just…stop.

”I always preferred holo-recordings as such, but I agree you can’t beat sinking into a good book. The touch of the page, the smell, reading the words and taking it all in – it’s like having history in your hands."

He swirled the glass of water and looked at his feet for a second.

”How’s...how’s Corvus, and the Jedi doing? We Silvers are on another map to you it seems. Hope everything’s ok."

Of course he meant more for Corvus. He couldn’t help it. Last he’d seen of her it was leaving her homestead on Tatooine after probably making another embarrassing fool of himself. He hadn’t heard from her, and felt the pang that she’d let him move on by leaving him in her memories – she did, after all, have a job to do that Connor didn’t seem to do very well; being a Jedi Master.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Corvus is well . . . Corvus," Taeli sighed a little, looking at her water glass before taking another sip. "She's been teaching me a few things, like Force Barrier and Force Light, and she showed me her place on Tatooine. Gave her new robes too, cortosis-weave in them so they can actually take a lightsaber hit and keep on protecting her. She might not have a solid idea about emotional attachments, but I think she is slowly coming to realize that stuff is important too."

Sighing, she swirled the water a little.

"The Jedi need help, Connor," she said slowly. "We're tired, they've been beaten over and over again by the pure onslaught that is the Sith. The Jedi need time to recover, to adapt to the time. We're hoping to at least blunt their momentum with a small offensive. It's just . . . we need more support, more allies. We need a unified front against them."

 

[Connor Harrison]

”Cortosis-weave? I could use some of that. Sometimes it’s a bit of a pain lugging the armour around if you don’t always want to appear like a Jedi juggernaut."

He took a sip.

”Corvus is trying to be the pinnacle of Light, and she can’t do it alone. The Silvers are always going to stand by the Republic, as best we can. Negotiations we had a while ago with Council members haven’t seen light of day, not that I complain but we spend so much time talking and not doing – that’s why the Sith are swift in their butchery. They just do. They know what their goal is and how to get it. The Jedi? Clueless."

His voice didn’t carry bitter venom at all, but he was careful with his words and not afraid to speak his mind to Taeli. She’d heard worse. Looking past her to the window, he sighed and rolled his tongue around his mouth.

”Masters we may be, but sometimes it’s easy to feel as useless as a Padawan. Not there is anything wrong with Padawans, but we should do more, but we don’t. Or can’t."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"That might be because plenty of Jedi don't receive proper instruction on valuable things," Taeli sighed as they waited for the meal to arrive. "Or it could be that the Sith evolved with the times, relying on and developing new Vong biots for them to use. The Jedi, especially traditionalists like my sister, don't seem to want to change and adapt to fit the era. It's going to reach a point eventually where we will have to or face complete destruction."

Sighing, she looked down at her water glass.

"It always goes the same way in history," she said, still looking at the water glass. "The Jedi dither, they somewhat put up a fight against the onslaught but they still dither and debate, but it takes some large event of some charismatic leader to rise up and unite them in actually doing something about the enemy at the door. You Silver Jedi are somewhat lucky that you haven't been fighting the war yet, but it's coming. The storm of the dark side is gathering in the northern spinward side. The time to talk and debate is over, but you understand that probably better than most Jedi, Republic or Silver."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor was fascinated by hearing Taeli speak about issues he felt strongly about, and didn't hear the door knock the first time. Looking back at the door, he placed his water down and moved to welcome the protocol droid with a tray of warm food. He hardheartedly thanked the Silver Jedi aid whilst listening to Taeli, and brought in their dinner. It wasn't much, but it was something.

”Here," he indicated to food for her to dig in. ”Sounds like you're warming to my idea of acting first and talking after. Too many people talk first and then forget to act because they forget what the main point of their talking was in the first place."

The Jedi Master helped himself to a good dose of pasta and a few spoonfuls of sauce and two chunks of bread - his favourite, and sat on the edge of the bunk by his glass.

”When that war comes, I'm going to be there fighting it. Even if I have to sacrifice myself to make a dent in the Sith warmachine, I will. I know I have my faults, but my intention is nothing but good. I know that, and I don't care what anyone else things."

He toyed with the pasta, speaking directly to Taeli, before shrugging a little.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Connor, I'm a former Sith," she said, helping herself to the food and filling her plate. "I was trained to have that mindset that actions speak louder than words, but I recognized quite early on information and knowledge is key. I like to act when I know more about a situation, about an enemy. Thinking actions through helps mitigate some of the more unpleasant consequences, even in the heat of battle. Rash decisions never end well."

Twirling her fork around, she slurped up some of the pasta in a very unladylike fashion. She didn't particularly mind, this was one man who wasn't going to judge her for eating pasta this way.

"I'd rather you not sacrifice yourself for the greater good," she replied, sipping her water. "Generally it's better if you make the other guy die for his greater good, not your own. When the war comes to the Silver Jedi, I'll stand alongside you all as well. The Jedi need to begin to form a more unified front, and this is how it will begin. Bonds forged in war are quite strong after all."

Taking a bite of the bread, she allowed silence to stretch for a moment between them.

"What do you think is the most important thing for the younger generation of Jedi to learn?" she asked. "Do you think they should be tossed into the crucible of war as soon as they get ahold of a lightsaber, or do you think they should be properly trained and tested before fighting against a Sith?"

 

[Connor Harrison]

"I will do what I must, Taeli. You know me. I bring nothing but pain to those I care for, so how about I give it to those I REALLY don't care for."

He grinned a little, before dipping his bread into the sauce before tearing it off and eating hungrily. As with the Jedi before him, Connor knew he could be himself. It was informal, way too casual and lacking any decorum; but it worked, and he enjoyed the way he could be himself around this Raaf. Reaching down for his water, he thought about her question.

"Well," he said, mouth half-full of bread and washed down with water, ", mm - excuse me - I think they need to be trained and tested to the full here within the safety of the Temple walls before taking on a Sith. But, saying that, I would not hesitate to have them accompany with me on an assignment where danger was present. The Force comes naturally when you don't think, and if they saw danger present, they wouldn't think - they would just act, and hopefully learn a lot more out in the field."

He let his words sink in.

"Does that make sense? I wouldn't abandon them of course, never. What do you think? You've been on both sides of the fence so you can speak freeily."

A little chuckle escaped his lips.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

One of her eyebrows quirked up when he said he brought nothing but pain to those he cared about, but she would hold her tongue from saying about that. If there was one thing that would reignite their fight, it would probably be her saying anything related to that comment, and she really didn't want to revisit that.

"Accompanying a Padawan into battle is the right thing to do, if they join a battle," she replied, taking another bite of bread and swallowing before continuing. "I've given thought about it, having seen if firsthand, but new tactics need to be brought into the fold. If Padawans are going to be on the field of battle, they should be in groups of no fewer than three so they can support one another, but a Knight or Master should be present as well in case stronger opponents start to arrive. The problem I see, having as you said been on both sides of the fence, is that Sith acolytes are constantly being tested . . . constantly prodded to become fighting machines. They revel in warfare, in breaking Padawans before they know what they can do."

She took a moment to pause and eat another forkful of pasta.

"Actions do speak louder than words sometimes," she continued. "Padawans need battlefield experience, but if they go solo, they will most likely be confronted by a Sith who has more experience and lose, and possibly even fall to the dark side. I've seen it too often. The Sith employ dun moch to a great degree and Padawans, even Knights and Masters, don't have the right . . . lessons so to speak on how to handle emotions and taunts such as that. They get angry, they get frustrated . . . and then they are ripe for a Sith to claim."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor looked up as she said her final few words, unsure if this was a cool little retort from his comments about her fleeting from Dark to Light. He nodded, however, because she was right as usual.

"Breaking Padawans in faster is important, as you say the Acolytes are put through situations that don’t give them time to think or to question or query. Good? Bad? I don’t know – a little of both. But at the end of the day, the Sith are expanding and the Jedi are…well, I don’t know. Deliberating. That proves to me one side has got something right."

He was sounding more anti-Jedi right now, but he was with one of the few people he could talk to about such feelings as he toyed with his pasta.

"Still. I’m doing all I can with the ones I guide – not that I do it much because I’m not the best to learn from. But if they do learn from me, they learn hard and not without a few sharp edges to get by first. Are you training anyone? You spreading that Raaf knowledge out there yet?"

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I only just recently took my first Padawan, we haven't begun training yet," Taeli replied as she also toyed with her pasta for a moment. "It's going to be strange teaching a Jedi Padawan after teaching Sith acolytes for so long, being one of those Sith that pushed and prodded my students to be as strong as they could be while still retaining control of their emotions and not the other way around. Guess when your own master throws you into challenges like fighting a terentatek on your first day or killing an adolescent Leviathan for a trinket, you figure out to swim right quickly."

She caught the underlying frustration with the Jedi in his voice, and she could understand that from him perfectly. He was part of a Jedi Order that was mostly sticking to their own sphere of influence/protection, and not really focusing on the larger problem facing the galaxy. That was likely to change soon though with the Primeval in the north beating a drum of war.

"I doubt the Jedi will be deliberating much longer," she said, taking another forkful of pasta and eating it. "The luxury of time is gone, replaced by the urgency of desperately needed action. I suspect your approach to things will soon become the norm, well the action speak louder than words part. Not the harrowing off into danger and situations without a care one."

The last bit was said with a smile to take the sting out of it.

 

[Connor Harrison]

He looked up from his food as Taeli touched upon the growing threat of the Primeval in the North of Silver Jedi space. With the impending merger with the Levantine Sanctum, it may have happened at the right time for the Jedi to show some muscle and resolve. He would be ready, as always, and just had to keep his eye on others. It wasn’t just his own head he was allowed to care for now. Padawans could be a pain at times.

Taeli’s last comment made him narrow an eye slightly.

"Yeah, I get it. Look, I’m not planning anything else soon don’t worry. My old Padawan Syala is going on peace talks soon and my new one, Chastity, is doing well in training so, just, have faith, ok?"

He rocked slightly from side to side and smiled that little mischievous smile tapping his fork on his pasta which was going down, ready for the bread to take away the spicy sauce on his plate.

"Have I ever let you down before?"

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Well good, wouldn't want that handsome face of yours getting all messed up," she said, winking a little to show she really hadn't meant her comment as a reprimand. His second comment though was one where it was best to just hold one's tongue because it was one of those phrases that just floated over the plate for nice good swing.

"True, and even if you did ever let me down, I'm still here aren't I?" she said, deciding it was safer bet than to list the times he had used Force Lightning and she had smacked him for it, or Saleucami . . . then again Saleucami had been a game changer for her too so she could easily let that one slide. "I guess that is one thing I definitely got from both sets of parents, I'm quite stubborn and loyal to those I care about."

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a submissive nod of the head, Connor chose not to push his luck too much. Placing the pasta dish on the floor, he leant over and used his last bit of bread to take up some sauce to chew on. He sighed contently.

"It’s a trait that’s been the making of you, for all your past. Honestly, it shows and the Jedi are lucky to have you."

He started to eat and leant on his elbows, looking at her, and then frowning, glancing to the small kitchenette.

"You want anything else to eat? I’ve got a few sweet biscuits in for afters? It’s been very infrequent that I’ve been here so often, I need to stock up on things so my quarters are a little more…liveable!"

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Sweet biscuits sound delicious," she said, smiling at the compliment he gave her. She knew her faults, she could be a little temperamental when it came to some things, sometimes borderline obsessed when it came to a new thing to research, but she knew her virtues too. The fact he appreciated that was still a nice thing.

"You know, a good coat of paint and some knick-knacks and books and stuff would go a long way in making your quarters more livable," she said, finishing off her meal with a content sigh. "You should see my actual quarters on Ossus or Erilnar sometime. They can get a little . . . cluttered from time to time, but I swear they are still quite nice. You just have to not mind the stacks of books and datapads and circuitry and well you get the idea."

That was when she realized she had practically invited him to see her quarters some time and she almost facepalmed. In his confused state of mind about his feelings towards her and this Padawan, she had no idea how he might take that.

 

[Connor Harrison]

A small clap of the hands and a nod signalled Connor and Taeli’s dinner was over and to start a few sweet treats for after. He rose, clearing the bowls and left them on the side – washing up? It had been a while. Usually it was just tumblers. Saying that….these weren’t his plates. It was from the canteen. Still, it was no worry for him to take the stress out of the people and droids down there to wash and return them.

"That would be nice, yeah I’ll do that one day. If it’s anything like you’re ship than I’ve seen the worst of it."

Fumbling around for the box of sweet biscuits, he popped open a couple of small red and yellow jam a jars from the small refrigerator under the worktop – a Connor speciality. Jam and biscuits. He took them through to Taeli.

"Home-made jam. Yes, you heard me. Ask your sister when you see her next you sampled some of Connor’s sweet biscuits and jams and I’m sure she’ll be full of compliments. If not, don’t tell me."

With a silly little smile to his own amusement, he took one and sat back on the bunk.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Home-made jam?" she asked, her eyebrow raising. "Well, I suppose everyone needs a hobby."

The fact he had agreed to see her quarters sometime left her feeling slightly flustered, but she fought that down for now. It wouldn't do to bring that subject now. She would be here for him, and maybe a few hugs or kisses might be in the future, but she wasn't going to press him for a relationship until he was either ready for one or decided not to pursue one with her. Not that she wanted the second option of course.

"Well, here's to finding out whether your bravado about them is warranted," she said, sitting down on the bunk next to him. Layering a bit of a red jam on her biscuit, she took a bite and immediately found herself enjoying the flavors.

"This is really good, Connor," she said, smiling widely as she took another bite.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor gave a mock mini-bow and popped the last of his biscuit in his mouth and rubbed down his hands. He was a sucker for sweet foods, he had to admit.

"Nothing major, but fruit from the orchards out the back of the temple has their own natural sugars so I simply wash, chop and puree. That’s it. As I say, nothing major but it’s a little pleasure of mine."

He drummed his fingers on his knees and turned to Taeli, a curious look to his face as he just realised she was sat beside him and moved from the seating by the table.

"Where did you learn to hit like that anyway? I know you said you’d done fencing in your youth but anything else? That punch landed with purpose and you knew where to hit!"

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"It certainly works, these are quite good," she said, finishing off her first sweet biscuit. "I might need to take a few of these back with me whenever I head back to Republic space."

It felt nice to sit next to him on his bunk, but she noticed the curious little look at her as she asked his question. She couldn't stop the slightly mischievous smile that broke out across her face. Guess it was only fitting that she gave him full disclosure on that.

"Well fencing doesn't really teach you to punch," she said slyly, the smile still on her face. "My adopted mother on Lorrd was a Mandalorian, Connor. When I wasn't studying from books, she was teaching me how to fight. I got my fencing skills from her, she taught me how to punch and fight. Something a former apprentice of mine from the Sith didn't realize when we fought. It came down to a brawl with fists and feet. Needless to say, I know where the exact locations to hit to incapacitate or remind someone. They didn't teach you that here?"

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor nodded and listened, still fascinated to hear more about her past and the stories she had that made her the woman she was today. A woman who was always there holding him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Interesting – you had a good upbringing at least."

He panicked a little, not wanting to bring up old ground.

"But here it’s all just your basic training; however I do try to inject the more hand-to-hand side of combat into things. You can’t always count on the Force and the lightsaber, because when you do that’s when you’re at your weakest. I just didn’t expect that to come from you."

His nose tingled slightly as he felt the pain again, reliving the hit. A little sniffle ended it.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Yeah, I did have a good upbringing," Taeli said, staring off into the distance for a moment and a single tear slid down her cheek. With a sniff, she got herself back together as he made his comment about the training they did here for the most part.

"Connor, as much as we know each other, you still really don't know that much about me," Taeli laughed as he finished his comment that he was surprised she understood that the lightsaber and the Force could be crutch if you relied solely on those in a fight. "For example, I have this little toy."

She slid the bracer on her arm off and handed him to it, rolling it over to reveal the hidden blade that could emerge out.

"I got this during my time as the quartermaster of the Sith Assassins," she said, smiling a little. "Unlike other Jedi, I understand that sometimes it comes down to the cool toys and your fists if it comes down to a fight."