Still The Same, But Different

[Connor Harrison]

Connor let out an inaudible breath and closed his eyes. Two tears fell down, a race to reach the bottom of his cheek to move and tickle his neck under the grease stained vest he wore. Always there, she was always there to support him.

He turned, and nodded, a pained look on his face – not pain, but one of just exhaustion at the constant wall he built up.

"I’m sorry."

Moving close to her, looking at her shoulder, unable to make eye contact, he reached out to hold her and feel the comfort embrace she had done the last time he had fallen to the Dark Side but been pulled right back.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Her smile was all he needed to see about whether she accepted his apology or not, but just to make sure, she stepped into his embrace and held him close. Waves of comfort radiated from her as she held him, before she leaned back to wipe the tear tracks away from his cheeks. Just looking into his eyes, she smiled again and went back to the embrace.

"Apology accepted," she whispered, just to make doubly sure he knew. "You don't always have to build a wall, but if you do, I'm going to keep scaling them. I apparently am quite good at climbing."

It was a little levity, but she didn't let him out of the embrace. He needed this, she knew that. She reached up to place a gentle hand on his cheek, her purple eyes once more seeking his eyes.

 

[Connor Harrison]

It was a little easier for Connor to compose himself, stemming his upset which was frequent around her it seemed; upset derived from guilt or sheer frustration. As she kept hold of him, like a caring mother wiping away tears and holding his cheek, Connor found the violet eyes of the Raaf gene.

Surprisingly, Corvus didn’t enter his head once as she used to, one thing he was always concerned about around Taeli being the substitute sister. He wanted to kiss her – a new found experience that was thrilling to him as he knew it would be reciprocated now - temptation was there. He didn’t belong to anyone, but…she was worth more than that.

"You will find someone one day who can give you everything, I swear to you. Because, that’s not me."

Connor brought up his fingers and kissed them, before gently placing them on Taeli’s lips for a second.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

As he made his little declaration, she almost wanted to burst out laughing. Honestly, their whole situation was like the second season of holodrama now. The guy was trying to push the caring and supportive woman away, he had confusing feelings so was at a crossroads . . . which meant the season finale was just around the corner.

"Do you know what the problem with saying something like that is?" she whispered quietly, bending up on her tiptoes to whisper that in his ear before pulling away a little bit so she was only a hairsbreath away from his lips. "When someone loves someone, and they know who they are and their faults . . . and still want to be with them on an emotional and physical stage . . . they will always wait for the one they want."

With that, she kissed his lips gently and pulled back to whisper again, "No matter what ups and down, no matter what heart ache and pain I might go through . . . no matter what idiocy results in me punching you or us arguing, I'll wait for you, Mr. Connor."

 

[Connor Harrison]

As soon as Taeli parted, and her voice fell to a whisper, Connor knew what was going to happen – and it did. She lulled him with comforting words, and kissed him. It was gentle, a caring kiss that his lips returned for a split-second before she stopped.

Blowing out a big breath from the side of his mouth, he squeezed her arms that he held as he wanted to just pack her up and send her away right then and there. It wasn’t easy, and it probably wasn’t going to get any easier.

What was it about the Raaf gene that would seem to haunt him in all his life?

Without thinking, he continued to hold her arms and he kissed her back, half-way between a kiss and frustrated sigh, and when he began to lose himself, he found it within him to stop and rest his chin on her head, eyes closed as she couldn’t see him. He was clamping them shut, but keeping his voice calm as if trying to ignore everything going on around him.

"You’re a curse on me Taeli Raaf. You really are."

Of course, soon she would have to leave for her own business, and then it would be nothing but thoughts and memory, which would then be replaced again by the next angel or demon sitting on his shoulder, whispering into his ear.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"If I'm a curse, then you're lucky to have me," Taeli said, a soft teasing lilt to her voice. She was glad he had kissed her, and glad of the embrace, but she meant every word she said. If there was one thing she had learned throughout her entire journey, it was to never let those you care about go . . . even if they sometimes could be so exasperating to the point of bashing your head off of a desk.

"If I wasn't me, and if I wasn't so . . . wrapped up in you . . . think about where you might be right now," she said, a shudder running through her body at the thought of what Connor had been close to becoming. He wasn't out of the danger either, not with the baggage he had of having feelings for her and his apprentice, whatever those may be. He still had plenty of healing to do too, the scars of all his sacrifices and events in his life were only now slowly healing.

"Even if . . . you . . . choose someone else, I might cry, I might scream, I might punch and challenge you to an actual fencing match . . . even then, I'm still going to support you in the end . . . because that's what love does," she said, just quietly embracing him again. "And I'd still wait."

 

[Connor Harrison]

A confident sigh, a gentle sniff to stem any more damn emotion and a shake on her arms signalled that Connor had listened, and trying to pull himself together.

"Thank you - thank you."

He stepped back, and looked at her. Violet eyes again looking as rich as they did months ago, and so dream like.

"Your support means a lot. You know it does - I will never be able to repay you for what you did for me, but know that I will try one day. Even in becoming the better person you want me to. I will try. My former Padawan, Syala, has faith in me - even after everything. So...I must be worth fighting for, right?"

Connor suddenly remembered that may sound more ominous than it sounded, and shook his head gently, a little laugh escaping.

"Hey I hope I've not kept you from anything?"

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I did what I did because I believe in you," she said, smiling a little and keeping eye contact. "I didn't ask for repayment, and I'm not looking for it. Syala is right, you might get exasperating sometimes . . . but you are truly worth fighting for."

She pretended to look at an invisible chrono on her wrist, her smile turning a slight teasing one.

"No, I made sure my schedule was clear for several days when I came to Voss," she said. "My right hand man, Jaxson, is overseeing some company stuff and I ducked my sister about teaching a class. Something about younglings and attachments. Guess she thinks I should teach our younglings about relationships and emotions and all of those sticky things that life throws our way. I promised her I'd handle it once I got back, so I'm good on time."

Her purple eyes would be sending a clear message that she would be around Silver Jedi space, or Sanctum if the rumors were true, for the foreseeable future and that he would probably be seeing her more often than before.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor took her hand in his for a second and held it, just looking at it. There was so much he wished he could but, it just wouldn't...feel right? Decent? Honest?

"Corvus wants you to each emotion and things? Teach it to her first, that'd be a start."

Probably sounding a little bitter, he smiled and dismissed the comment.

"I'm pleased things are working out for you both - as sisters, and Jedi. Please pass on my regards to her."

Maybe one day he could prove to the one who mattered most he wasn't a bad person, and she could believe in him.

Then, a few noises outside caught his attention. Letting Taeli go, Connor moved to the door of his quarters and opened it, to see a couple of Padawans walking by giggling, as if hurrying away as not to get caught. He was about to say something, but just laughed a little and turned to Taeli.

"I think rumour is spreading about Master Harrison and the dark haired lady in his quarters from off-world."

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"I've been trying, but she's just sooooooooooooo stubborn," Taeli huffed as her sister was mentioned and her problem with emotions and being a human being as well as a Jedi. "But beyond that . . . it's been a much better time than when I was a Sith. Definitely more relaxing, and I get to see my sister almost every day now."

Hearing the giggles, she wasn't surprised in the slightest when a few Padawans ran off laughing. Normally, she would be embarrassed for Connor, but the whole situation just reminded her of being a child. It was sort of refreshing to see that some of the kids were able to still be kids here.

"Maybe we should give them something else to talk about," she said, coming up to him slowly, enticingly, until she was right up next to him. Her purple eyes were full of a teasing seduction as she whispered in his ear, "Want to invite some of them to your sparring area so they can watch two Master level Jedi? Would be very educational for them and maybe, just maybe, for you."

It was incredibly teasing, and just to add something else to it, she kissed him on the cheek and patted his other one.

 

[Connor Harrison]

Shaking his head as he watched them move away quickly, he didn’t move as Taeli kissed his cheek and almost mocked him in open. When they vanished, he turned and went back in.

"You’re a bad lady Miss Raaf, rumour spreads like wildfire with the Padawans. We’re going to be all over the place soon. Master Harrison had a dark haired lady in his quarters…ooooh."

He scoffed and sighed, pondering what she said, but aware he had work to do over the two days Chastity was incapacitated.

"Well, sounds tempting – but I do have my ship to tend to. I’m emotionally weak now you see so I won’t be a good opponent for you…good excuse, right?"

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

Taeli smiled as he made his comment, silly Connor. Padawans and children in general would always gossip about their teachers, it was just a natural part of being young. She hadn't been too interested in gossip in her younger years, she had just never seen the point when books were to be had and solid information for the taking.

"Are you sure you don't want me helping with your ship?" she asked, still smiling but innocently now. "I am pretty handy with a hydrospanner, and I promise not to mess with anything on that antique you call a ship."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor tapped his chin, thinking as he came back into the quarters.

"Well something is up with my cleaning system, the wipers aren't working on the cockpit and I was thinking of trying to re-arm the weapons system...I mean, it could come in handy."

He rolled his tongue around his gums for a second, looking out the window at the back of the room.

"Hm. That can wait because I don't know how long it'd take...I doubt I'll need it online."

Then he found Taeli's gaze and smiled.

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"You have the weapon systems deactivated ... on a starfighter?" Taeli asked, her eyebrows raised as he debated about bringing them back online. "On a starfighter that you fly around as your personal transport and take into situations? I mean they can take a little bit to get online and calibrated, but it doesn't take too long."

Then again, his E-Wing was an antique. It might take a little longer, but she just saw this decision ending poorly for him in the future if he never got around to it.

"Hold on, your ship has wipers for a cleaning system?" she asked, holding up a hand for a moment. She couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped. "You know, they make electrostatic repellers for starfighter viewports so you can just zap away any particles that accumulate on it. I think I have a spare you could use on my ship. I could even install it for you, it wouldn't take long at all."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor shook his head as he ignored her moaning about the age of his ship. He had a fighter in the hangar he had only used once, but would use again. The Clutch was a nasty fighter indeed, but the E-wing, for Connor, did what he needed far better.

"I’m not going to fly into any battles on my own am I? The Silver Fleet is good for that. Besides, I have resources should I need to. Don’t worry yourself!"

He moved to his wardrobe and rooted around in the bottom drawer for a code that would be used to take his ship offline to work on and pull apart if needed.

"You can fix the zapper thing on if you’d like, that wiper system IS giving me a headache and I think I broke one before you arrived. It did the job good enough before but, yeah, maybe this is just a sign it needs a little upgrade."

Standing, Connor indicated to the door.

"Come on then, go get your hands grubby and make yourself useful."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Then give me a sec to go get it and change, not ruining a dress or robes with grease," she replied, winking before she opened the door to his quarters and ran off through the Temple. She might have only been here just this once, but she remembered the way back to where she had landed her ship. Getting inside, she quickly found the replacement repeller she kept in the spare parts compartment and changed into something a bit more work appropriate.

Dressed in a simple blue shirt with tight sleeves and tight fitting pants with plenty of pockets, she walked down the ramp holding the repeller. Looking around for Connor and his E-Wing, she expected them to be nearby.

 

[Connor Harrison]

It didn’t take Connor long to lock up his quarters and return to the hangar. He took a slow walk, thinking on events passing and what people may say about him. Part of him wanted to explain himself, part of him didn’t. He didn’t owe anyone anything about whatever he did.

He took the back way to the hangar, jumping up the steps and coming up from the floor to the place he spent most of his time. His E-wing by the ear wall, Connor walked over and saw a freshly changed Taeli looking more like a greaser and suited for the job.

He smiled and patted the nose of the ship.

"Come on it’s not that bad. This beauty does the job, not full of noise like that giant you call your own, a disguised hunk of junk."

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"But here's the difference between my ship and yours," Taeli said sweetly, stretching before getting to work. "I can live out of mine quite comfortably and it has a stygium cloaking device ... your's has maybe a maximum range of several star systems before it runs our of fuel and supplies. Regardless, we aren't here to argue about ships, we're here to fix yours up."

Looking over the cleaning unit, she really wanted to facepalm so hard. Wiper blades that had rusted through ... oh Connor.

"When was the last time you serviced this thing anyways?" she said, walking around it slowly to look over every inch of the ship. "It looks like it needs a serious upgrade or cleaning or both."

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor folded his arms and watched, letting her evaluate his ship and making obvious quips here and there.

"Not been serviced in…ohh, since..." he squinted upwards, "…I’d say…3 to 4 years. I think."

He shrugged.

"The work that is done gets done, and I keep an eye on it with the tecchies here. Upgrading a little here and there, fix up the engine and things. It’s never let me down. Except the wipers, so yeah replace those and I’ll give you that one."

Connor walked forward and rested on the right wing, trying to be distracting.

"So what you up to next with the Republic? Any information you can leak to the Silvers?"

[member="Taeli Raaf"]

 

[Taeli Raaf]

[member="Connor Harrison"]

"Honestly, you really should consider servicing it more often," she said, tapping one of the engines. "These could easily be tweaked and tuned up to provide you 12% more speed for example, but I digress. It's your ship, and that is just my suggestion."

Hopping on top of the vessel, she started working with a hydrospanner she summoned with the Force to get the rest of the wiper system off.

"Hmm, next big thing I'm doing in the Republic is I'll be overseeing the rebuilding of the Ruusan Academy," Taeli replied, twisting the wiper out and throwing it on the ground. "Research and development academy for Jedi that are more inclined to study things like biology, technology, medicine, that sort of thing. Military grade defenses since it needs to protect the Academy and the Valley of the Jedi. Meditation sites, the whole shebang."

She grunted as she removed the last of the obsolete system, looking at how rusted it was. She raised an eyebrow at Connor while holding up the remainder of his original cleaning system, clearly saying why is it like this before tossing it aside.

"Okay, need to get inside this section of the hull to integrate the electronics," she said, pointing at the section directly beneath the cockpit. "And I promise I won't do anything else while I'm in there."