Responsibility

[Asmus Janes]

His shirt seemed stifling; he was glad to be rid of it. He arched his back and brought his arms up, before lifting his shoulders from the floor. Another comfortably awkward moment ensued as it caught on his jaw. His right hand came down to pull it free but Kaile caught it in a grip and planted a kiss on his lips through the fabric of the shirt. He laughed softly again before the shirt was freed and discarded.

There was a genuine warmth in the smile that followed their giggling, spreading from his lips to his eyes as he allowed her hands to roam free over the defined muscles of his chest. He cocked his head to one side just a fraction and something between a sigh and a moan escaped his lips.

“Oh Kaile.”

The hot desire that they’d been caught up in several times already was overwhelmed by something else. As his hands met her waist, fingers splayed around her sides and thumbs pointing towards her belly button, he started to lift that camisole off excruciatingly slow.

Asmus desperately wanted her, not so that he could get off, or revel in the pleasure he gave her, as he used every technique he knew to drive her wild. But so that there could be nothing between them, to become as close as any could become. Not that his eyes didn’t hungrily drink in the view of the curves revealed by the soft slide of fabric. His bare chest heaved as he took deep lungfuls of air, his jaw quivered. He didn't know that her ribs were more obvious than usual because she hadn't been eating properly, but it would have brought him great comfort to know that he was responsible for her sleeping contently and putting away three proper meals in the day. Tonight they would perhaps sleep as peacefully as they ever had.

If she would let that garment sail over her head he would immediately pull her down to him. is hands at her back urging her ever tighter to him. An almost needy grip as he plunged his tongue into her mouth again, kissing her deeply and softly moaning. That felt good. So fething good. Nothing in the way.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


Small chortles of laughter would give way to a low throaty sigh, reeling with the feel of his body in direct contact with hers and the heady scent of him filling her senses, feeling the soft curves of her body melting against the defined muscles of his chest. The needy press of his fingers against the growing slick heat of her skin at her back gave way to white indentations, streaking across the breadth of her shoulders and her ribs as they wandered.

Their kiss grew in passion, and all the Lorrdian could think about was just how good he felt. His heart hammered against her own, their breathing spiked. Every drift and caress given by slightly trembling fingers, as if barely reigning the self in, rearing it back. They were both well aware of what precipice they were walking the edge of. Of what each could do if they fully let go and spun themselves into a dizzy state in this waltz.

He led them now. They had started out with those first cautious steps; a one, two three. Now his hand had her set flush against him, drawing her in as if he could absorb her into his very being. Left. Back. Left. Each step taking them just a bit further, just a bit more fluid. Kaile shut her eyes, her stomach tightening in response, the surge of feminine awareness charging through her veins. Every kiss, every sweep of his tongue, every low, hoarse whisper of his name evoked one of her own. Lips parted, breath caught.

”Asmus.” she purred, her voice laden with desire, edged in wonder.

It was hot. Blazingly hot, and growing in temperature. Up she drew him, encouraging him to follow, and if he would she settled herself with one knee against each hip, sitting astride, the upright position allowing her own hands the same access as he had to trace the line of his spine and feel the slick sheen of his skin. Fingers would splay, one diving into his hair, pressing his lips closer to her, her kiss both tender and shockingly seductive. The other would tighten its grip along his side, guiding him close. Another spin, quicker steps, that concert of growing discovery guiding them further.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Now take your partner by the hand

That quiet murmur of his name evoked a sudden churn of emotions. Just one word, but the way it was said cut through everything: the warm press of her skin; the dance of their tongues; the heady scent of their bodies tinged with lavender; the soft light catching her curves. He couldn't say what that mix was comprised of. His spirits soared at the way she expressed her desire in that word, but there was so much in that mix it made him giddy. Asmus almost felt like he could cry.

His muscles quivered as he followed her up. At her encouragement his hands moved more urgently across her back. His fingers continued their strokes, painting criss-crossed white over flushed pink.

He softly murmured between those tender kisses, her name a whisper at the back of his throat. One arm slid low down to anchor himself by wrapping around her waist. The other came up to run through her hair, encouraging her to lean her head back and expose her neck. Again, the silent internal battle before dictating the pace of the steps. He could tell she had the measure of him, could sense his direction and follow his lead. She was more responsive to touch than anyone he had met before.

Now circle slow the other way

He kept to a slow and graceful glide across the floor. Instead of urgent suckles and bared teeth, he planted a series of tender kisses from her ear to half way across her shoulder. Nearly a second separated each kiss, his moist lips left to linger against her warm skin each time.

The left arm slid from her waist to find purchase on the sheets beside him. His right knee drew up. With a gentle tug and an upwards press of the hips that elicited a low moan at the contact, he rolled her off him and carefully laid her back down.

As his lips continued their quest, crossing the top of her chest to pay attention to the other shoulder, his back arched, hips tensed and he slowly bucked against her before he could stop his body from doing so. There was just her, there was nothing but her.

Where she ends up you won't know

That instinctive shift of his body against hers gave him pause. His chest felt tight, it seemed like he had to force air into his lungs; she'd stolen his breath away again.

Hands splayed out just above her shoulders, framing her head with his tense arms. As he lifted his shoulders up his eyes darted across her face, as if searching for something in her expression. The search narrowed as he focused on her eyes, plunging into those hazel depths. One hand came up, pausing just an inch from her face. Ever so delicately he pulled some strands that had stuck to her face and chest back. A warm smile spread across his face as he did so.

Asmus didn't know for certain where this dance would lead, or who would end up following. But the last items of clothing were beginning to feel like restrictive barriers, preventing them from becoming as close as they possibly could.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Kaile couldn’t help but feel a nervous flush flood her face, the soft orange glow of the wall panel reflecting against that sheen of sweat that now lay upon it. Bits of strands of her hair clung to her neck and shoulders, the ones on her cheek ever so carefully plucked away.

Her gaze was hot, heavy. A near half-hooded smolder that stared up at Asmus with quickening need. It took all she could to calm her breath and not wrap limbs round to lock him close. Instead, her hands had sank back from his hair and took a firm grip at the coiled, tense muscles of his upper arms, watching him as he hovered over her, caging her in.

Feeling dizzy and kiss-drunk as if she’d been twirled round and round across the dance floor.

Like a woman-child, those flashing brown eyes stared up at Asmus and saw not just desire, but something more. It made her tremble and evoked a rush of pooling warmth below. It was by far the most arousing and intoxicating of sights that made her breath catch and her chest heave, a pebbled rush rising in its wake amidst that sea of tiny speckled marks. Neither of them knew where this was going, but it was getting harder to focus. All Kaile knew, is that she now desperately had a desire to sink her fingers against his flesh. Press her lips along his neck and trace her way over his chest. To taste the salt of his skin.

So she did.

Up, with a flex of her abdomen, she drew towards the scoundrel and pressed those bruised lips right against his throat. Soft, lingering kisses that barely whispered amidst the sighs and deep intakes of breath. The flat palms of her hands went trailing up and over his shoulders, kneading and fingers flexing. Short, half nibbles that traced their way onto the other side of his neck, nuzzling her face against the crook of his shoulder. Not hard enough to mark, but strong enough to let him know what she could lead up to.

One could feel it. The undercurrent of this dance pick up the pace. Their hearts the drumming beat that had started out slow and inquisitive, but now swung them into jovial merry thrum.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Some did say that the eyes were a window to the soul. That all sounded a bit overly poetic to Asmus, not that he wasn’t fond of a bit of poetry in the right circumstances. What he was certain of, was that her glossy hazel orbs showed a reflection of her desire. Mutual discovery crossed the distance between them as they held each other’s gaze.

Asmus could see her plan before she even started to move. You lead these steps then, he thought to himself. He felt a light flutter as she curled up to meet him. Neither of them were giggling any more. He felt almost exposed to her here. It was his arms that surrounded her, yet he was locked in place holding himself up, subject to every kiss and caress she wanted to place.

There was a slow, stuttered intake of breath as he revelled in her lips gently kissing the sensitive skin under his jaw. Her touch at his throat just heightened the sensation of being exposed and giving himself over to her. Her hands were always moving, always touching. It evoked memories locked into flesh of nearly every touch, tender or otherwise, she’d placed on him over the day. Kaile was like that, it seemed as if touch was a means of discovery for her, as much as an expression.

Above her, he still had the option of taking control back. He could have broken step, held her down firmly and started exploration of his own. But this was a dance to a tempo that gradually built, not a sudden switch. A wince on his face accompanied the low groan as she nibbled across the side of his neck. Asmus turned his head aside, encouraging her to continue. Each touch was a small jolt that ran from the point of origin to every corner of his body.

Shifting his hands slightly he lifted one arm from the bedding, feeling the other slightly tremble. He cradled the back of her head with his left hand, fingers kneading her scalp before stroking down the length of her hair. This was a heady cocktail of emotions, made all the brighter by the rising sense of europhoria. He never wanted to come down from this high, but they hadn’t reached the top yet.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Kaile felt every shudder, every tremble resonate from Asmus as if it were her own. Mercurial in every touch, she flowed and ebbed against him in response. Half slit dark eyes stared up at him in hypnotic quality as she blazed that trail of soft kisses across the line of his jaw to his ear. His hitch of breath evoked a rush of goosebumps, and when her lips captured the soft lobe of his ear, she felt his grip tighten within the waterfall of her hair.

Her mouth tugged gently upon that flesh, sighing her need against it a second later. A nuzzle of her cheek against his followed, the damp flush of their skin sliding against the other. Skill, borne of experience had her fingers round the bulge of his shoulders and over his upper back. There, the light rake of those blunt tips went painting white lines as they dragged down. The combined pressure of Kaile’s fingers raking down and her upward surge of her supple body sank him into her embrace, that elation returning as her nerves seemed to dance in the thrill of him against her.

Cheek to cheek, she breathed him in. Is that me shaking so badly or was that him? The question went racing through her mind, she couldn’t tell. She couldn’t tell much of anything anymore. Addictive, the very same quality each bite of that chocolate cake had given her earlier before. There were no giggles now. No flutter of tickles. No silly tidbits aimed to distract.

It wasn’t a waltz. It wasn’t even a light-hearted jig. The pace had slowed to euphoric sensuality. Bigger than her body, that growing energy a sultry wave barely kept in check. Her head twisted, a stuttered breath that found Asmus’ half parted lips.

There she captured his mouth with a gentleness in the stirring maelstrom of what was turning into a savage need. More, her mind echoed. Drinking him in, the tips of her fingers finally reaching the small of his back. There they flirted with the line of his pants, until they slipped under and followed the firm curve up.

Don’t rush. Don’t rush. Don’t -- but it was so terribly easy to tighten her grip. That singular action elicited a choked gasp and it grew more difficult to hold herself up. She wanted him. Terribly so. Yet at the same time Kaile was struggling to not get lost in the haze of lust. She didn’t want it like that. Not right now. But it was difficult when a tiny voice in the back of her mind grew louder by the second.

Touch me.

The thought blazed through her.

Touch me.

Her body sang.

Touch me.

Every nerve trembled.

“Touch me.” Kaile rasped.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Asmus was beginning to find his battle less challenging. He was losing himself, but in the experience of her not with wanton desire to simply take her.

“Yes,” he whispered hoarsely into her ear. His left hand came up again to gentle hold the back of her neck. Down they went together and from shoulder to hip, he allowed his weight to press against her. Affectionately, he nuzzled the side of her cheek as his left hand twisted around to plant on the sheets.

Slick bodies peeled apart as he drew himself up, spreading his legs to give himself a base to lift high. Hands finally free to roam, the distance also allowed him to drink in the sight of her. Yet that burning gaze kept returning to her half-lidded eyes.

His hands delicately cupped her face before moving across her shoulders. In one smooth motion he dragged the soft tips of his fingers across her chest, down either side of her navel to her waistline. Treacherous hands took a firm grip of that hem and gave a slight tug before he could stop them. It brought an amused smile to his face as he caught her eyes again. A playful statement of intent, if not entirely intentional.

Now the flats of his hands returned the stroke with a firm pressure, fingers still exploring as they went. Her skin was smooth, soft, the sheen of sweat allowing his hands to glide easily enough. Faint pebbling raised up as her skin was left exposed to the cool air. It felt cool anyway, Asmus was fairly certain it was only their sultry heat that made it seem so. He wanted to touch every single inch of her. As he leant forwards once more, such that she’d feel his hot breath across the top of her chest, his left hand slid around her side and up.

As he lowered himself down, her head rose to meet him. She needed another kiss just as much as he did. He drank deep from that well, as both hands continued their travel upwards, drawing up her arms over her head and continuing their explorations until they met her fingertips.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Asmus.

His name raced through her mind, the half chuckle she gave at his playfulness caught when he did exactly as what she’d been thinking. Or did I say it? It was hard to keep up. A token note of anxiety kicked in, but by then, he had successfully managed to wipe her mind blank with what he did next.

The rapid suction of breath through her nose cut through the din in the wake of his caress. It was just the first stoke of the embers that evoked a fire, and she couldn’t help the shut of her lids. Sight was a fantastic sense to revel in, but there was nothing that compared to the tactile sensitivity of touch. It was an essential part of communication for the Lorrdian, and in it she basked in it. Relished in him.

Her head fell back in a pant right before he found her again, kissing him back as those skimming fingertips found the sensitive valleys of her own. Arms up, curves of flesh augmented by her position, and those slender digits gave a slight tilt against his palm and slowly interlocked with his own. Her body wanted him, it was clear enough as each second that ticked by stimulated her all the more. At any other time, any other place, with anyone else, this would have progressed towards the main event, with the former Yum Bunny well within the throes of a new fantasy to play through her mind. Each interaction had been playful, but ruled by lust.

This wasn’t the same.

Kaile would mull about it later. Days and weeks from now when she would consider back on it and it would saturate her mind. There her calf drew him close again, as if now that he’d captured both of her hands, her body was trying to find another means to keep that contact going. Maybe that was the oddest thing out of this. Besides the crazy-making kisses and the gooey way Asmus made her feel when his hands had sailed over her in concert with his mouth.

She felt content. Safe.

Whole.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Kaile kept on shifting beneath him and in his mind his attention shifted from the feel of her on his hands, to the full range of contact. Removing the hands from the equation almost heightened every sensation, perhaps too easy to have the focus drawn to those sensitive pads.

She did feel good pressed to him. This was what he needed. Nothing on the horizon of his awareness but her. Asmus wasn’t sure how long they’d been kissing, but once again he was running out of breath, his lips tingling on the edge of some strange barrier between pleasure and discomfort.

Slowly he released his grip on her hands, fully expecting - perhaps hoping - they’d bolt from the gate. His mouth had found the crook of her neck. Another trail of gentle kisses down to the top of her chest. His hands sailed down her back, exploring the ridges of her shoulder blades. They carried on down, holding her waist tight before giving a squeeze and continuing across her thighs, attempting a slow, gentle massage. It wasn’t right. He was as skilled in massaging the legs as back, but it wasn’t right.

Hands slid up, gently lifting her rear, fingers clawing one by one around the back of her waistline. He stopped gently kissing her and looked up for any sign of protest. None was given. One smooth lift and tug followed. He allowed his nails to gently scrape against her soft flesh as he went. As he slowly shifted his chest down over her and arched up. his arms gathered her legs behind the knee and pulled them up and together.

This still wasn’t about giving or deriving pleasure. It was more. Now his hands trembled faintly as he lowered himself back down on top of her. As he kissed her waist his hands resumed that firm massage across the tops of her thighs.

Better. Much better.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

I love his smile.

The thought was easy to come to the fore of her mind. It always held a bit of mischievousness to it, as if Asmus was never too far away from becoming playful at the drop of a credit. It was infectious as it was charming. Yet it paled in comparison to the combination of the expression with the deep, smoldering emerald of his eyes. It made her feel beautiful, and desired, and fully, intensely wanted.

Oddly enough, Kaile didn’t mean only in the physical.

Watching him peel her pants away from her hips and up her legs could very well be one of the most erotic sights the Lorrdian had ever seen. Those big brown eyes drank in the sight of his body, watching the shadows play along the subtle definition of his muscles with every flex, drowning in the deep set of his eyes through that fringe of dark hair that feathered over them. Yet it was that smile, that playful kiss and nibble that shot tingles of pleasure down her limbs, making her twitch with the grazing tickle and give a slight giggle.

[SIZE=10.6667px]“Asmus.”[/SIZE] That low rasp seemed to run down the spine as desire shot through her veins and her breath caught. Thrusting her fingers into his hair, Kaile struggled to catch herself in her small hands, his long, dark hair would easily transform into reins, using it to lead him where she wanted him to go.

Firm hands would knead her quivering thighs, massaging them with the faintest of trembles that told her she wasn’t alone.

Breathe.

Kaile told herself as his hands slid over her soft thighs.

Just breathe.

As her fingers tightened their grip.

Oh. My. Stars!

When his lips sailed over her navel.

Breathless, her head went tipping back against the pillow, eyes closing as her legs unconsciously began to tighten along his flank in a writhe.

A chuckle forced its way nervously from her mouth. “... slow… “ came her plea, “ Please.” She shuddered. “I.. can’t…” help myself. Curves swayed as her breaths came faster, but deeper. The soft, slick sensation of fresh sheets against bare skin heightened Kaile’s sensitivity and awareness of it all. Of him.

Of Asmus and how she desperately wanted him pressed against her until she couldn’t tell where one began and the other ended.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Slow…yes,” he echoed between shallow breaths. It was clear from the tone that it was as much a reminder for himself as it was an agreement. This wasn't about the end goal, they were lost in each other, not the rush to crest that wave they'd been riding all day. As he looked up to her his mouth opened and then closed, his jaw set tight.

“Slow,” he repeated, before a low chuckle. His eyes turned down almost in embarrassment at what he had done, and he bit the corner of his lip. This little internal strife had been overcome for now. An entirely new experience for him that kept him swinging between nervous and excited. Yet through it all was the constant desire to be as close to her as was possible. Again he came to pause above her, turning his head into the gentle touch of her fingers.

Once more his eyes mapped the contours of her face, ever drawn back to those eyes. The surge of emotion at that locked gaze was far more overwhelming than that of arousal just moments before. He breath caught, his smile was genuine, but nervous.

Slow, this time the word was mouthed, but not spoken. One arm slipped under her shoulder blade and came to grasp her shoulder from behind, pulling her tightly to him. His heart thundered and his breath caught again.

Like a magnetic force that could only be resisted for so long his mouth sought hers. First his other hand gently raked through the long, smooth strands of her hair, then the tip of his nose gently brushed against hers. Tentative, searching. They shared breath for a few seconds more, lips barely parted by any space.

Delicate contact as they closed the gap at last was almost immediately followed by a more forceful press and stroke of the tongue. A throaty sigh followed the deep, slow kiss. His fingers held tight, pulling her against him almost painfully tight.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Asmus caught her soft mewl of pleasure, as Kaile withdrew her grip from his hair and wrapped her arms tightly about his shoulders, drawing her up and against him. She rolled her tongue against his, each sweep of her tongue increasing in passion as she reveled at the press of his hot skin against hers. And oh, he was sooo good. Lids parted into half slits and she could see him cast against that pale orange glow.

Sweat glistened over his cheeks, shoulders and chest. Their combined heat was hiking the temperature up, making her feel as if she was burning up. Stars, he felt so good. All Kaile could focus upon was on him; his breath, his touch, the weight of his body, and the thundering of his heart. There wasn’t anything else in her mind, he encapsulated her thoughts.

It made her feel nervous and a bit self-conscious. Anxiety clenched at he belly, and she felt that creating wave of lust swell in her. It would be so easy to let go. Soo easy. Not just for his pleasure. Not just for her own, but because she truly just wanted to --

What? What did she want to do? No, Kaile, stop. Don’t think about it. Don’t fret about it. She cast those thoughts to the side, pushing them back where she didn’t have to analyze them. Where she could just simply enjoy being here, with Asmus, without worrying about what was right or wrong or if she was still taking advantage of him. That thought alone made her pause, drawing back from his kiss.

Panting, Kaile pressed her forehead against his, trying to calm down. Trying to blank her thoughts again. But just the threat of the thought that she could possibly be using all of this, using him, to forget, sent such an overwhelming shudder of anxiety through her, that it swamped her. For some stupid reason, tears welled. Kaile felt like such a ninny, I am never like this.

It never mattered before. It wasn’t a concern. Yet it was here.

“Sorry.. sorry . I --” she began to stammer, feeling ridiculous. Her arms would tighten further. Kaile struggled with the desperate need to hold him close and the overwhelming worry that she should, for once, be the adult.

 

[Asmus Janes]

He kept his forehead pressed to hers. His chest heaved as he drew in air, each expansion came with the press of her skin against his. Both were damp with sweat now, each press followed by a peel as if their very skin balked at being parted. His eyes widened a touch, his expression shifted. His pupils were once again searching for something in her eyes. He found tears. His burning arousal was suddenly dunked in ice water.

Wider awareness seemed to return to him as he processed what she'd just said. For a long time - he wasn't sure how much had passed but it suddenly felt like a lot - his awareness had narrowed to the space occupied by their two bodies and nothing beyond.

His whole body shifted. It was just a subtle movement, but the pressure of his weight against her was lessened. The grip on her shoulder loosened and his other hand twisted about. With his eyes still just inches from her own he allowed the backs of his fingers to gently trace the side of her face.

“Okay…” he said in a breathy sigh. He smiled. No lines graced the corners of his eyes, yet the expression could still be read there. He wouldn’t take things any further without being certain she wanted to follow.

“I can stop if you want,” he whispered, before planting the most tender kiss on her lips. “Take a break from the dance floor,” he added with a soft chuckle. She'd asked for slow, he'd agreed. Perhaps he'd been taking things too quickly. Asmus managed to hold still there, just his hand gently stroking her cheek. The internal struggle was all too real, but more than anything else he didn't want to see Kaile upset.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


He didn’t understand.

Nibbling her lower lip, Kaile took a deep breath, feeling the cool air hit her hot lungs. She had felt him tense, had felt the long pause as he registered what she had stammered out. No, no! Not like this. That isn’t --

Kaile shut her eyes tightly, feeling the drops of her tears squeeze out from their corners. There they would bead, only to get caught and gently be wiped away by the back of his fingers. Anxiety grew, and she wasn’t sure just how to explain. The Lorrdian in her instead seem to make helpless gestures with her hands, finger dribbling along his shoulders and upper back, for once lost at how to exactly proceed. On what to say.

“No.. no.” she began, voice breaking. As soon as he seemed to be pulling away, Kaile’s arms grew tighter around him, unable to let him go. The tips of her fingers gingerly brushed over his lips, the space between them mere inches. As she trembled, he held her with care.

“I.. “ Kaile began, trying to explain again. Why was this so hard? His hair tickled her cheek as her right hand came up, barely hovering over his jaw as if trying to make him understand. His kiss was achingly sweet, and the expression he gave her said he would do whatever she wanted. It made her heart ache and convicted her all the more at the same time.

“I lost someone.” She finally told him. He at least deserved that. “My best friend.” Her voice quivered. “I was dumb, and stupid and… “ she swallowed hard. Just thinking back on all of it brought that wave of melancholy again.

“.. and I just didn’t want to be alone.” Her tongue felt thick. Foreign. The pads of her fingers came to rest against his lower lip. Stars, it was hard to breath. To say it aloud. To admit it. “...it didn’t matter with who.” Saying that just made her feel terrible, and oh so small. So wretchedly small.

A sharp pain seem to strike her chest, and it took all she had to open her eyes then. To look at him. In those brown eyes poured out a wealth of warring emotions; melancholy and anxiety. Confusion and desire. Yet, above all that, the genuine depth of her affection for the scoundrel who held her. It didn’t make sense, but it was there.

“But it does now.” Her voice was a hoarse whisper. She’d said it before, but the entire circumstance, the events that had brought Kaile here made her feel hyper aware of everything. Of Asmus.

“You’re...” her throat constricted, working out the words as her hands helplessly gestured to try to explain, but it she found herself unable to fully explain it.

She didn’t know how to.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Confusion was evident in his eyes. Yet at the same time that warm smile never left his lips. Several times he opened his mouth as if to interrupt, but his lips never quite found the words. Instead at her insistent tug his hand that was wrapped behind her shoulder gave a firm squeeze. He wasn't going anywhere.

At first he thought his theory was confirmed: that she had lost someone to the plague. However it became clear she didn't mean lost in that manner. His furrowed brow softened as she struggled for words. Oddly, he knew what she was trying to say even though he had no notion on how to express it himself.

Another tender kiss. This one lingered, bringing her search for words to a halt. The hand that had been stroking her cheek slowly ran across the top of her shoulder, down her arm until it found her hand. There it interlocked with her fingers and squeezed it tightly.

“I get bored on my ship, you looked pretty and available,” he admitted. His jaw did a little side to side dance as it was his turn to try and pull his garbled thoughts together. There was a dull haze of lust and a flare of other emotions directed at Kaile that his logical mind was trying to work though.

“I've never felt like this about anyone before,” he said, words coming quickly. “Never.”

“I know you feel something for me,” he added with a gentle squeeze of her hand. No one set out to find a firm friend, or the love of their life, he reckoned. Well maybe those people who posted those holo-ads. “I'm not one for thinking on how I get somewhere, but I'm sorry about your friend.”

Then his eyes dropped. Suddenly he looked confused, almost embarrassed. When he spoke next his voice was small.

“I know that I…I mean.” His eyes turned up to Kaile's searching again, before they hid themselves by turning down. “Please don't think I'm spinning tales like I did before. To get you. I'm not.”

Eyes came up, a hint of a smile back. “‘sides if I was smooth talkin’ I'd find a more eloquent way to say how much I've fallen for you Kaile. But you get my head all spinning.”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


His anxiety was a mirror of her own.

Asmus didn’t have to worry about Kaile believing he was working her just to sleep with her; she could read the truth in his expression and in his body. In the subtle nuances that ran across his face and within the fathomless depths of his eyes.

A small awkward half laugh bubbled between them, nervous as her fingers oh so carefully cradled his face. The other squeezed his hand, interlocking digits held tight.

“I know.”

It was a low acknowledgement, barely loud enough for Asmus to catch. Yet the softening in her gaze and the subtle smile said that she believed him.

It was also why Kaile was all the more worried about the situation. About everything. A deep breath lifted her shoulders and chest, filling her lungs with cool air. She shut her eyes again, pressing her forehead against his, nuzzling along the left side of his cheek much like a cat would while purring in affection.

“I know…” she swallowed hard, that knot still lingering. “You make me all dizzy.” she confessed again. Flutters ran in her belly that were both fanned by desire and that silly nervous, tingling sensation that ran up her toes and tickled everywhere.

“I … just... “ Stars, how can I even say this? How to explain? Her thumb ran across the high ridge of his cheekbone, wiping the cooling sweat off that warm flesh, feeling the brush of his hair. Guilt mushroomed between them again, those trembling fingers drifting over his mouth. A mouth that she so desperately wanted to kiss again.

No, I have to do this right. I have to…

“I’ve an awful fear, Asmus.” she uttered hoarsely, that fine tremble in her body shaking against him.

“I can’t right say where I’m at right now.” her tongue felt thick, and fear twisted within her, icy shards of it making her painfully aware of her situation again.

“And I--” she took a breath, biting her lower lip again, threatening to cut it like before. “I can’t stop thinkin’ I’m doin’ what I’d been intendin’ since the beginnin’...”

Stars, she felt as if she was just blabbing about and not making any sense. That frustration just made another wave of tears flood the corners of her eyes. Frustration at herself, at the situation, at the confusion of it all. It was a hovercoaster of emotions and desires, all clashing with her conscious that fed into a guilt she just couldn’t seem pull away from.

 

[Asmus Janes]

Having just struggled to put his thoughts into words, Asmus was content to give her the time to try and speak herself. Despite wanting to spend the night wrapped up in her under the cover of the blankets, there was something between them that needed resolving first. Perhaps a barrier that couldn’t be resolved; not everything was a problem to be solved. It just was.

Relief was evident in his expression when she belayed his fears with that hushed confession. His head cocked to the side a fraction, his smile widening. The hand that held her shoulder so tight, started to slip down to hold her waist. He adored her exploring fingers, the way they so softly brushed his lips. His free hand relaxing and sliding up and down her waist gently. He really shouldn’t have indulged himself. The taste of her on each intake of breath brought a heady arousal.

Her tone was sobering; his body silenced.

“Oh Kaile,” he sighed. “It matters so much that you don’t think that of me.” Another squeeze of her free hand, then he brought it up to his mouth and kissed the back of hers. Such a tender kiss, barely brushing the skin.

“Now I...I don’t think you’re taking advantage. I don’t. I see it, I know it. I want to be with you so very much but...but it’s not that simple is it? Not about what I think, if you’re not sure...you’re not sure. That’s okay. I’d give my other arm just to hold this hand another few minutes,” he said. He held up their interlocked hands and shook them together. He chuckled quietly, looking down such that his hair cascaded over them both, surrounding them in their own private world. Even in the darkness she’d see the light catch his eyes. Those burning gold flecks reflecting the depth of his desire. But if she didn’t know if she wanted this, then talking her into it would be taking advantage as much as she feared she was, he decided. He wouldn’t ruin this, this powerful thing between them that took his breath far more than any salacious act could. She didn’t want him to go, but perhaps she needed a moment without the hot press of his body to clear her head? Asmus didn’t know, was as lost as she was.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


Lids cinched tight, and her expression contorted into one of intense longing. Kaile wanted him, just as much with the desire that burned within the gold flecked forest of Asmus’ eyes. He would feel the goosebumps that ran along her flesh.The pressure of fingerprints along her hip and her waist gave her a taste of what he could do. Not forceful enough to leave marks, but hard enough to leave her dizzy. Hard enough to give her a sample of what he could make her feel. Asmus fed her imagination, where fantasy was Kaile’s bread and butter, and the strangled whimper that rushed from her lips was proof enough that she was close to breaking.

It was the low, breathy sigh of her name that managed to reel her in. To focus. By now her hand had slipped from his cheek to sail down to his neck, gliding to cup his nape. There her fingers tangled in his hair, flexing in their grip as she trembled in his arms.

His low laugh managed to wane some of the anxiety and the haze of lust Kaileann felt. A wobbly smile shone up at him, cheeks flushed pink and her brows knitted in a sheepish expression. The kiss he grazed against the back of her hand gave her shivers, drawing her heavy-lidded gaze to their interlocked hands. Flexing her fingers, she relaxed the slender digits, fanning them before clasping against his anew.

There was something about the way he held her, how he softly massaged the curve of her waist and gently sheltered her with the cascade of his hair. Abruptly, everything came into sharp focus: the feel of his hot skin and the compression of his weight and the strength in his muscles. She felt the pillow under her head and the make-shift mattress she was on. Staring up at Asmus, her breath caught again.

Stars, he was beautiful. One typically wouldn’t describe a man that, but Asmus was beautiful. More than just handsome, it wasn’t quite the right word. Not for him. Her eyes lovingly traced over the high cheekbones, the sculpted lines of his lips, and more importantly, the dark blaze of his eyes.

“I want to be with you too, Asmus.” Kaile finally managed to murmur out in a low hush, voice cracking at the realization of just how much that well of emotion rose with the confession. He brought her a level of peace she hadn’t seen in some time. And it made her feel selfish, holding him tighter, because she wasn’t ready to release the feeling of not being alone. Of not having him near. Within these moments with Asmus, her mind stopped reminding her of how lonely she was. In these moments, she found the comfort she’d been missing.

She thought of kissing him some more.

“I… I’m not ready to move on.” She could never forget Kurt. He had been such an important part of her life. Still was. “I can’t forget.” Her throat worked as she brought their intertwined hands up against her cheek, where she nuzzled against it.

“But I do want this.” Kaile sighed, lifting her lashes to study the scoundrel hovering over her. The sharp lines of his narrow jaw and the impossibly long lashes any woman would envy. To the way his breaths would saw in and out when she caught the flare of desire fan in his eyes.

For me.

“I want you to be here with me.” She said almost embarrassed, dropping her head low.

 

[Asmus Janes]

His head dipped down as if following her, gently nuzzling the side of her face with upward strokes as if trying to encourage her back up to eye level. He drew in the scent of her skin, closing his eyes and listening to the sound of her breath. He felt the cold touch of a tear on her cheek, wiping it away with his own.

“I wouldn't be anywhere else,” he whispered quietly in her ear. She'd been hurt, badly. The one she'd lost as a friend, or something more, had clearly been dear to her.

She'd feel his fingers leave her waist, coming around the outside of her shoulder to softly stroke her hair. His hips held impossibly still. Part of him considered pulling away, moving to a different position to remove the temptation they both clearly felt to rock against each other. But he couldn't abide the thought of pulling away from her, not even a few inches. The body sometimes had a mind of his own, but he consciously wanted her too. Wanted to take her to a place of pure sensation where there was nothing in the ‘verse, no qualms, no concerns, just them and their physical expression of their feelings.

“Thank you, for being so honest,” he sighed. “I…Kaile.” He couldn't wait for any more of a response, the urge was too great. Two kisses he planted on her cheek softly, until his lips brushed the corner of hers. Eyes closed, he sought them out and kissed her again. Softly, slowly, but an edge of hunger still there as his lips parted wide. That last quiet uttering of her name carried far more meaning than any single word had a right to.

Asmus knew he'd been searching for something in those beautiful hazel orbs. Perhaps more a reflection of himself than something in Kaile. He'd seen it there, seen it clearly. But seeing wasn't always understanding. Whatever powerful hold she had over him was reflected there. Perhaps it was alright that he didn't understand it, nor her. They just needed to know it was there and explore it together. The hand he clasped tightly relaxed, fingers stretching out as he guided it down to the sheets beside her head and laid his upon it, palm to palm.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


There was just something about the way Asmus would kiss her.

Maybe it was the combination of reading his body, hearing him sigh out her name, and the way he now captured her mouth again. Her mouth parted under his, tongue rolling to join in that intoxicating dance he led her through. With her arm now set by her head, it allowed him to dip lower. Closer. There was a rush at how their palms slid against the other. In how the sensitive valleys between her fingers seemed to hum and twitch at the fan and press as they would clutch tighter.

He didn’t need to talk anymore. Didn’t need to explain. Like a cartographer reading the lay of the land, Kaile charted a path with her free hand over the bunching muscles at his shoulder. There, the tips of her fingers painted white lines over his shoulder blade to the center of his back, where they gripped tight to pull him closer.

Yes.

Her head would naturally tilt towards the hand that would cafune her hair, and Kaile drank that affection and attention in. Much like he, Kaile just couldn’t stop touching him. Tenderness and care traveled through the two of them as her body rested beneath his.

Asmus. Kaile might have moaned out his name. Or she maybe she did not. Maybe it was all in her mind. It didn’t stop her from shivering. Dependency on his touch seemed to drip from every fiber of her being, as if begging him to explore her deepest fears and her sweetests of tastes.

The hand at his back trembled, however, as her eyes fluttered open, they seemed to stop as she focused in his eyes, lips parting but for a few seconds. Asmus turned his head, then, to look at her, and his eyes held the depths of the coming night.

Stars, it was all in his eyes.

His eyes were like the color of a forest under the summer sky, and as fathomless as either. It was a sight that started all the drops of her blood chasing each other through her veins. The Lorrdian caught her breath, her hand tracing their way back over his flank until her palm came to rest over his heart. The hammer of his heartbeat matched her own, and she felt herself get lost. Those chocolate brown eyes met his, and for the briefest of moments, that expression would hold a stare as if she’ll never see him again.

Because I can’t…

In two days time, she would leave. She would be reassigned.

And I’ll probably never see Asmus again…