Responsibility

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

It was the combination of the squeeze of his arms and the urging in Asmus' voice that finally woke her.

A sharp intake of breath followed a small start. Kaile barely felt the bop of the scoundrel's nose as she awoke. Brows drew close, the flutter of lashes blinking against the light of the viewport. Consciousness returned to degrees, and for the moment, Kaile was still elsewhere. On the Messa, on the acceleration couch. A random moment in time where Kurt and she snuggled up and fell asleep together.

At least, until everything came back. Where she was. On what ship. With whom.

Asmus. It was the faint lingering scent of Eriaduian Cedar, with the subtle notes of apple. It was more the memory of the scent than the actual presence. Funny, how such things can imprint on the mind to so vividly connect one to another. Another small comforting squeeze, perhaps as encouragement for her to wake quietly wiped away the last vestiges of slumber. Up slid her head, the slight brush of lips at her forehead and then another squeeze.

"Oh...sorreh," she managed to squeak out, voice half muffled. In the back of her mind, she honestly didn't want to move. She wanted to stay here, in his arms. Nevermind that the Lorrdian didn't realize she had addressed him by another name in her delirious state. She began to rub her right eye with the palm of her hand, blinking up for brown to meet the dark, gold flecked emerald of his eyes. A second passed before she gave a slight frown. Had there been something there in his eyes? Concern rose, and she blinked away the last ties to that momentary state of unconsciousness.

"I must be heavy... " A thought rose, a concern that perhaps that Asmus was uncomfortable with their positioning managed to prompt her to move a bit quicker. Twin spots of color highlighted her cheeks as she gave him a sleepy, sheepish smile. Maybe that would fix it?

From her peripheral, the Lorrdian caught the slight flash of Asmus' datapad. While the timer was still there, the actual time revealed that she had been asleep for a while.

"Where are we?" Kaile asked, shifting on the chair to push herself to her feet. The blanket began to slip, sliding down her arm.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Don't ask who he is. Not now.

"We're about two thirds of the way there now," Asmus replied, just a hint of strain in his voice. "Going to drop out on the edge of an empty binary system and swing about to come into their space on an approved vector. Some folks get awfully twitchy these days when they detect ships coming out of hyperspace from an unexpected direction."

He smiled as he leaned forwards. As she stood up one hand gave a final stroke down the curve of her spine. Then he pulled his chair forwards a few notches. "I hate inspections," he muttered as his hands danced over the console. All systems were still good, navigation was set to drop them back into realspace at the right velocity to follow a suitable arc to reorientate themselves. A little bit of fuel saved, a tiny bit more space in the margins for the shipping job.

"No need to be sorry," he added. "I was comfy there, wouldn't have shifted you if I hadn't had to. You can settle back down in a moment if you want." He missed her warmth now it was gone.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Kaile gave Asmus a shy smile at that, her hand running through the strands of strawberry blonde, pushing them back. They fell off to the side, draping half over her right eye only to be tucked back behind the shell of her ear.

"I must have passed out," she murmured, a slight frown pinching between her eyes. Turning towards the viewport, she would watch the stream of stars for a few moments. Both hands adjusted the blanket, curling it about her shoulders and holding it tight in front of her chest with a grip of her fist.

There it was again. The mention of being uncomfortable with inspections. The Lorrdian returned her attention to the scoundrel, watching him lean forward in the pilot seat, elbows on his thighs, dark forelocks shadowing his angular face. There was an uneasiness there that he was attempting to mute, a subtle nuance playing across his brow an at the corner of his eyes.

What had really happened then? Kaile wondered. She sucked on her lower lip again, this time frowning in concern. In the next few seconds, Asmus would feel the gingerly brush of her fingers along his temple. They were warm and soft, running through his hair with the intent to comfort.

"Need me to do anything?" came her soft whisper, a half step closer to stand between the wedge of his knees.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"It was nice," Asmus said softly. Controls forgotten, he turned up at her touch. So easy to forget neglect everything else. He sensed the rhythm of his own breathing slow almost immediately as those fingers ran through his hair. "I get the feeling this isn't a timezone your body likes, or you've been short of sleep recently."

Asmus canted his head to the side because of the look of concern on her features. Stay, was the first thing that came to mind. He didn't say that. Instead he noticed to rapid jiggle of his right leg. He was anxious. Was there any real point in pretending otherwise to Kaile? She was remarkably perceptive when it came to things that bothered him.

"No...no. You might remember a tall tale about laughing off torture at the hands of the Techno Union? That started as a routine inspection. And I didn't really laugh it off. Not at all." He gave a half-hearted attempt at a chuckle as his hand came to rest on her hip.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

His fingers would clasp around her hip, fingers lightly pressing into the curve, unknowingly drawing her close. Kaile followed the slight tug, wedging herself in between his thighs. This bothered him. It made him anxious. Uncomfortable. It was there in the way the skin stretched taunt across his face, in the tight smile, the hollow laugh.

Kaile wouldn't press the issue. That was just how she was. Like with Kurt, she would simply offer encouragement and support. If Asmus wanted to divulge any more information, that was up to him and him alone. The curve of his cheek would follow the cup of her palm, and she saw him shut his eyes at the caress. For a moment, the tension eased, but it was clear it was still there.

"No... haven't been sleepin' well I reckon," Kaile replied in a soft tone, her thumb grazing the high slope of his cheekbone. She caught the shake of his leg, the up and down unconscious frantic act of growing trepidation. There was a need there, one that wished she were far more skilled in the Force to be able to wash Asmus in a sense of calm and tranquility. It wasn't her specialty though. Not something she knew much on what to do. Mindtricks yes, but that wasn't needed here.

"Well the Techno Union ain't known lately for their politeness..." she would add quietly, continuing to sweep her hand against his cheek, lightly cafuneing his hair. She made sure she kept skin to skin contact, knowing how important that was. At least, had been for her.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

"I think perhaps it was a spot of bad luck as much as anything. Happened across a bored dark jedi, decided to play with us for a while," he said. Seemed easier to say than he expected, though the little jig his leg was dancing continued.

The jig came to an abrupt halt. He gave Kaile a quizzical look.

"Is that because you lost...this person close to you?" he asked.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Ah. Now it was a bit more clear. A Dark Jedi. Her brows scrunched closer, perturbed. From what both Kairon and Asmus were insinuating, things didn't turn out so well. If the investigation turned to a bit of 'play', well then, Kaile could only imagine what Asmus might have gone through. Having charted his body with her hands, there wasn't anything beyond blaster scars and a few old scars here and there. Nothing to indicate physical strain.

Which meant it had been mental.

During her time with the Pyre, Kaile had gone through a battery of tests and trials to harden her mind, making it a bit more resilient to intrusion. It wouldn't be a permanent block, but it would be a hardier wall. Asmus did not have that training, nor that background. What did he go through? She would mull in her head.

That is, until he asked her about Kurt.

Her fingers gave a slight twitch, curling inward against the side of his head, his hair clinging to the slender digits. One couldn't miss the slight hitch of her breath, the way her shoulders rose or the subtle start of her expression. Kaile's brown eyes met Asmus' own for a few seconds, before they fell and she gave a slight nod.

".. I've trouble sleepin' to begin with..." she'd add, glancing off to the side and back out to the viewport. She did not draw away her hand, keeping it there against his head, a soft shift of a stroke of her fingers. Returning to meet his eyes, she gave a ghost of a smile, the right corner of her mouth barely perking upward in a sheepish attempt at easing the tension.

"There's ways... you know," she began after hesitating a second. "To help block off your mind from folk messin' with it."

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus looked slightly ashamed of himself. That had been thoughtless on his part. He'd indulged his curiosity by asking that question. There had been no reason to ask it for Kaile's benefit. "I'm glad you've managed to get some rest," he said with a slow nod of his head. She'd slept so soundly beside him this morning. He felt guilty for dropping his razor.

It took a few moments to process what she'd added. He brought his other hand up to rest against hers. Was she suggesting that she knew ways to keep a Force User away from the mind? Kaile did seem to know a lot of things.

"How would you stop...that?" He pulled her closer so she could perch on one knee.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

She gave him a weak smile, finding herself brought forward until she slipped to perch upon his right knee. Her side pressed against his chest, and she felt the slight flutter of his hand skim over from one hip up to the dip of her waist. Staring into his green eyes, Kaile could see the pull of curiosity. He was wondering how one would be able to do that. Best to try and do this without having to dig into too much...

"Yeah," she began, giving a small nod. Her free hand rose up, pushing back the locks that had fallen forward again. Meanwhile the other had drifted from his cheek down to his shoulder. Idly, her fingers curled around it, feeling the warmth of his skin radiate through his shirt.

"Well...Can't really stop it." she clarified, he brow scrunching further as she attempted to find a way to explain it. "Just... harden the mind?" she would say. Taking a deep breath, she let her shoulders set. A tap of his temple came next with the pad of her forefinger.

"We all have a gut instinct to survive," she added, speaking rather carefully. "The mind gives way to either fight or flight when facin' somethin' it rather not. What measure of intestinal fortitude and willpower really." she would explain. Seeing his confusion, she took his hand. Palm to palm, she would play with it, bringing it up between them.

"What manner of hoodoo they do, it's only cause it is like energy... like an electric current you can't see." she brushed her fingertips against his palm. " Kinda like so..." she told him, gesturing to the way the heat of her body transferred over to his. "What you need to do is just like when you need to ground out that energy... " brown peered into verdant orbs, " and think of it as redirectin' it away from your mind and just elsewhere."

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus watched Kaile’s explanation intently. She had his full attention as he tried to follow her advice. His gaze only diverted from hers when she drew his attention to the touch of his palm. A smile appeared at that little demonstration. He was glad she paused to give him a moment to try and follow that. He would have listened to her talking all day before realising nothing had sunk it.

He opened his mouth to reply and then closed it again. He pursed his lips briefly as he considered how little fortitude he’d shown in that cell. His first thought was that if someone was after something in his mind, he could redirect them by taking them to other, benign, parts of his memories. But that didn’t seem to apply to keeping someone from making you see things.

“One second,” he replied. He leaned forwards and tapped a button that had started to flash. The ship would carry out most of the required manoeuvres on its own now and only bother him when they were close to the checkpoint.

“I didn’t really feel what was going on the first time. Didn’t realise what was happening wasn’t real. Not until…well…I realised I still had my fingertips. I thought maybe the second time I’d see it coming, but again it was just real. So how can I go about grounding out that energy?”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

"By keepin' your mind busy," Kaileann would answer Asmus, bringing her finger to tap his temple again. "You ever play pazzak? Or Sabaac?" she asked him. It didn't matter if he did or did not, just wanted to give him options.

"Or better yet," she shifted, turning her torso slightly towards him. Her breath now would flow gently over his face with every exhale, and Asmus would be close enough to see the light hazel flecks in her eyes. "You're good at them algorithms." she stated, remembering that he had quite the brilliant mind for numbers and navigation.

"If you focus on runnin’ one in your mind, like chartin' a particularly difficult path, you'll keep your focus elsewhere. Kinda like your shuttin' yourself off here in the cockpit of the Quin," she elaborated, "Close your eyes." came her gentle instruction, curling her fingers along the sensitive valleys of his hand and drawing it to her lap.

"Folk will try and make you sense things that ain't there. But you just gotta get yourself here on this chair, just like now, and focus on my voice." it had a low rasp to it, a sing song quality that would tempt one to simply follow the highs and lows.

"Picture the stars, all them constellations out beyond. Make them that hedge of protection, you see. That wall. Just you and the stars, Asmus." her whisper coaxed him towards a that meditative trance that Teräs Käsi adepts used to block off their mind. No more than a thought shield that he could practice to keep himself somewhat sane.

"Your stars."

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus almost found that was was paying more attention to the sound of Kaile’s voice and the way she gesticulated that the actual meaning of the words. She’d often returned to questions about him and his past. With her so close and carefully explaining it sent small butterflies through his belly. Totally inappropriate given she was explaining how to resist torture, he decided.

When he closed his eyes it was easier to focus on the words. There was her voice and nothing else. His next breath felt shallow, yet at the same time it seemed that all the air had been expelled from his lungs. The next breath in was slow, through the nose.

The stars...connecting the dots.

Emptiness for a moment. Infinite nothing. Even that mental picture would be off putting. He’d always been quite good at picturing the infinite abyss. Few liked to try, it made them feel small. Stars appeared a few at a time. He tried to drop them randomly. Not a smooth, homogenous mix, but clumped together. He brought a metric to the front of his mind as he considered a real cluster. He started to solve it. Mostly he hoped her voice would continue.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


“Picture them one by one,” Kaile would continue, her voice a honeyed guide for the pilot to follow. “Chart them in the sky. Watch them change.” glancing down, the Lorrdian caught sight of their intertwined fingers, a light fanning of digits that lightly pressed over his own.

“They’ll come at you sideways… kinda like an interdictor.” a flutter of her fingers along his temple, a shift of the Force. A nudge. It was a subtle mind-trick, an attempt at distracting his focus, as if a sudden shudder within that bridge where he sat upon to jumble up his orientation.

“Try and pull you out of hyperspace and take you into their own playin’ field.” those almond shaped eyes would study the nuances of Asmus’ face, watching him react and run through things in his mind.

“But you just gotta keep your focus, Asmus. Think of what to do, how to get out of it. Connect the dots in your stars. Ride the edge of that knife’s blade.”

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

His own mind was playing tricks on him. It was easy to lose everything else but her voice and her instructions. As she described being pulled out of his little construct his mind seemed to draw him out of it, He stopped before all the stars could fall from his sky.

His fingers twitched, but he wasn’t even aware of that motion. Instead he was fixing points in his sky. That wasn’t the simple part. Putting them there wasn’t the same as the awareness of where they were. Slowly he rebuilt that map. He did as he was told. He started to connect the dots, tried to focus on little equations that might distract someone unfamiliar with them. Perhaps this would all seem such a strange game to an outsider he mused. Determination set on his features. A look Kaile would only have seen moments before a jump off in the handball game. Or perhaps when he’d first drawn his blaster back in that hangar bay.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]


Kaile saw his jaw set, a muscle flex along his jaw. That made her smile, dimples flashing for a moment as resolve set upon the scoundrel’s countenance. Through the Force, she felt a slight bit of resistance to her nudge. Truth be told, she wasn’t expecting much. Everyone started from somewhere. It wouldn’t do much now, but it was a foundation. Something to practice upon. The more he practiced it, the better he would be able to not only shield his mind, but block off his thoughts, emotions, and intents. Asmus had a way of holdin’ his heart on his sleeve, and she couldn’t imagine the sort of torture that Dark Jedi would have done to him to make him so anxious. Anxious enough to still feel perturbed over the upcoming inspection.

“There you go.” came her whisper soft praise, and the kiss of her fingertips would go caressing his face from temple to the line of his jaw.

“Just keep on buildin’ upon that.” a flutter of the Force would attempt to push against his mind again, only to find it a bit more difficult. Not by much, mind you, but slowed. As if moving through a thickening haze. Having him work on equations and algorithms were subjects he was very familiar with, likely could do so with little thought whatsoever. Practice would make the mental shield stronger, but to a full blown specialist… well, that was another story.

It was a strange game in the end. One of hide and seek. Only that the end results were subject towards the amount of sanity one had left.

“If’n you keep practicin’ that, you’ll find yourself calmin’ down a bit too.” hopefully this would help him. Wouldn’t be much, but it was a start. Her training was a bit more painful, but the end result was the same. It wasn’t an end all, but it was enough.

It was something she could leave behind with Asmus for him to strengthen himself by.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

Asmus’ eyes opened just a fraction. There you go, she had said. But then, how had she gauged what he was doing from his expression alone? He smiled as he caught her watching him carefully.

“You really think that'd work?” he asked. “And how do you know I wasn't thinking of something else entirely?” he added, a spark of mischief in his eyes again. He did feel a little less anxious, now he thought of it. A simple little trick to get the mind focused on other things. He wondered where Kaile would have picked it up. Maybe from Kurt? He thought, before silently chastising himself for his pettiness. There was no need for that, not after their open expression of their feelings. He didn't like the thought of her with anyone else. That was new too.

“Thank you,” he added before she could respond. She was close now, looming over him. Yet it had felt like he'd been enveloped by her voice, surrounded by her, safe. It made him think of last night, the sensation of being exhausted, wrapped up in her and slowly drifting off. The mischief faded from his gaze and he canted his head just a fraction as he regarded her.

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

“I’ve my ways.”

The Lorrdian mirrored his grin, encouraged by the relaxing tension around his eyes. A single finger would trace the line of his right eyebrow, following the dark slash from brow to temple.

“Mhm…It ain’t no fix all... “ she elaborated, making that clear. Kaile didn’t want to give him false expectations. It would serve its purpose up until a degree. Who knew what sort of Forcer he’d might come up against in the future, or what manner of skill they’d have in mentalism.

“But if’n you keep on workin’ on it, maybe a few minutes everyday when you’re flyin’,” she’d add, that finger pad sailing down along his cheek towards his jawline. “It’ll get easier.” her thumb went brushing over his chin, a subtle sweep from left to right. That hand she kept holding would get a small squeeze of comfort.

“Anytime.” she told him quietly, only to feel the heavy weight of regard from him after. He was curious now. Curious how she’d know it would work. It blended with another emotion, another search of dark green eyes that had her flushing anew. Her belly twisted again, and she dropped her gaze.

“Well…” she began, taking a deep breath. Up rose her chest as did her shoulders. A thought came to her and she gave a half smile.

“Guess we can finally put some music on right?” up flicked those chocolate brown eyes, warmth reflecting in their depths as her expression softened upon meeting his own anew. She gave a pause then, seeing something in his eyes.
“What is it?” she inquired, canting her head slightly to the right. A half twitch would hover over her lips. “Do I have somethin’ on my face?” she teased, dropping her hand away from his cheek to push her hair away from her face, the strands feathering to wave lightly by her neck.

 

[Asmus Janes]

“Oh yes music!” he exclaimed suddenly. His gaze snapped away from her. She'd seen the way he'd been looking at her as his mind had rolled back. He didn't even respond to her question. The only reaction was the slight twist of his lips In embarrassment.

He wriggled slightly and leaned kaile back to get access to the data pad on the chair next to them. He tapped a few buttons to connect it to the speaker and passed it over to her. “You can pick,” he said. His eyes lingered more than necessary, no longer holding her eyes but charting the lines of her face.

“Well, plan A was to just not meet another Jedi who wanted to mess with my mind,” he said, trying not to lose himself. If he kept watching her he'd so be tempted to start mirroring the way she'd been gently caressing his face. Then there would be kissing. And then the morning would be gone. “There aren't that many of them in the whole galaxy if you think about it so hopefully I just won't end up in that mess again!”

 

[Kaile Vera]

[member="Asmus Janes"]

Watching him react so broadened Kaile’s smile. Before she knew it, he gave her his datapad, encouraging her to select the first song. He made her laugh. There was a simple joy in observing the awareness bathe his features, catching the way his long bangs would fall forward by his eyes, tickling his cheeks and shifting along his jawline.

For a moment, her thumb would idle over the display screen. Odd, how she couldn’t help herself, just felt drawn in. One that was all the more amusing when they both seemed to flush at catching each other studying the other.

Dropping her gaze on the datapad, Kaile gave a small shift, adjusting herself on her perch. “There ain’t just Jedi y’know.” she would comment, unable to help herself clarifying a bit. Dark Jedi, Jedi, Sith, whatever they were. They all used the Force in some way or another. Titles didn’t mean much when it was the person who utilized that tool for whatever means they so desired -- be it good or bad.
“There’s others. It ain’t so black and white.” her thumb went scrolling down the music list, reading through the titles, blanking things out honestly. It was all a blur. Finally, she tapped a line. A tell tale guitar rift and the steady beat of a drum and bass would surround them.

 

[Asmus Janes]

[member="Kaileann Vera"]

His fingers were tapping on the arm of the chair within a few bars. His lips twitched upwards as he decided to save Kaile what would be a genuinely appalling attempt to sing along, despite already getting the urge to.

“Oh here we go,” Asmus said as they snapped back into realspace. “We're near the edge of the system but still in its gravitational pull. Relative to the system we're actually moving a reasonable fraction of the speed of light, not that you could tell,” he said. A few percent was a reasonable fraction in his mind. “See, the view is slowly shifting as the ship follows the geodesic with no engine thrust at all. On a few minutes we'll be pointing in the right direction and jump again.”

“But anyway…” he said, attention back to Kaile. Why did seeing her follow His gaze out towards the gradually shifting backdrop of stars bring such a smile to his face. “...I thought there were good and bad. Jedi and…dark jedi? They have another name don't they?”