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Submission Modifications

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Do you have links to the threads where these were purchased in? (Marketplace, or roleplaying, or just permission to use works) Just want to make sure the bases are covered before I add those to the sub.

The link to Under-Barrel Sonic Blaster is not the right one. It just takes me back to the submissions modification page. If you could grab the right one, it would be appreciated.

[member="Einarr Warscream"]
 
Submission Name: Avanian (Please Change to Avarian)
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.ne...n/#entry1230738
Reason for Modification: Change of species name which is mentioned multiple times in the actual text so please copy and paste everything.
Modification:
Name: Avarian
Designation: Sentient
Homeworld: Alderaan
Language: Galactic Basic
Average height of adults: 1.8 metres
Skin color: Olive, pale, black, etc
Hair color: Blonde, brown, black, red, etc
Breathes: Type 1, 2, 3 and 4 atmospheres/gases

Strengths: Ability to fly, ability to breathe type 1, 2, 3 and 4 atmospheres/gases (due to a filter at the top of their throat)

Weaknesses: Human-like skin which is highly penetrable, slow metabolism (causing slow growth and development of brain). Slow movement (caused by wings). Can be easily over-powered in melee battle due to lack of experience with swords.

Distinctions: Human-like body, wings. Talons and a beak for adults.

Average Lifespan: Average human life-span (85 human years)

Races: None

Estimated Population: 800,000

Diet: Worms, small animals, Qana beans are poisonous to them.

Communications: Uses mouth to speak

Culture: The Avarians' culture was very humble, and based around survival. They were kind to each-other, and acted like they were brothers, but when interacting with other species, they would get territorial and angry. They would wear brightly coloured, eccentric clothing made from cloth which they made. For entertainment, children played throwing games with pine-cones and other objects that could be found around the place. Adults were not allowed to get entertainment, they had to protect the children and their homes the whole time, because of their protective nature of birds. They preferred to live in open spaces because they got claustrophobic. They would eat one small meal a day which consisted of a birds' diet (bugs, small animals).

Technology level: The Avarians have been exposed to house-hold technology, and weapons such as blasters and light-sabers. They were also familiar with technology used for security.

General behavior: Human-like, calm with possibly similar emotions to humans. When it comes to protecting their children or their territory, they will become aggressive.

History: The Avarians lived in fear of being discovered and banished from their home on Alderaan. Once the destruction of Alderaan occurred, they migrated from Alderaan to Kiribi, though some died in the explosion, most of their kind survived. Only a small part of Kiribi's population was non-human but the Avarians were accepted and were no longer hiding from people, and were able to thrive and participate in the economy. Although they were given the unwanted job's, they were making money and were happy living on the planet.

Notable Player-Characters: Darth Avian
Intent: The Avarians have weird attitudes and emotions which would be interesting in a role-play situation. They also have physical features such as the ability to fly, and their built-in hunting weapons, their talons and beak. The Avarians are different to any other half-human species because their attitudes and way of life is very different to humans.
 
[member="Raylan Aviar"]
Submission modifications must be made under the same account as the one that originally made the submission. This is also the third modification you have requested for this sub in less than 10 days. We are not a cosmetic editing group and these small edits should have been taken care of long before the sub was even put into the Codex or approved.

On another note, the image you have supplied does not match the description of the race. I see no "beak" on this adult and for reasons of cohesion the edit will not be made.

Do not request any further modifications for this sub for a month.

In the future, be sure to take your time getting things completed in your subs before submitting them and if you have multiple edits to be made, put them all into one modification request instead of one at a time.
 
Submission Name: Angelii
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/61766-the-angelii/
Reason for Modification: Replacing an impractically heavy suit of armour with a new one that was designed by Firemane for Eldorai troops. Both are mass produced and the protective qualities only vary slightly.
Modification: Please replace the Mk2 Omnicron armour listed under the 'armour' section in 'Links' with the Sentinel Battle Armour.

New Submission:

The Angelii
Name: Angelii, or the full translated title ‘The Heavenly and Wrathful Angels of the Great Goddess Ashira’. Some abbreviation is advisable as can be seen!
Intent: To codify the elite Eldorai Force using Royal Guard and shock troops. These troops have been in many, many battles in RPs and in the background for centuries. They are highly elite and now they are armed with modern weapons they are even more formidable.
Affiliation: (In order) The Star Queen, the Eldorai, Kaeshana Confederation
Availability: Rare
Quality: B (Veteran)
Type: Elite shock infantry
Strength:
Tactically the Angelii fight in small groups. They are rarely used for mass assaults. The basic tactical unit is the Squad, or Wing as the Eldorai call it. This consists of 6 Angelii, one which is a ‘Wing Leader’ or Corporal.
Four squads form a Company, this is led by a ‘Talon’ or Sergeant. (24)
Four Companies form a Great Company led by a Captain. (96 + 4 specialists)
Five Great Companies form a Legion led by a High Captain equal to a Colonel. (500)
Larger formations are rarely used, but there are 10,000 Angelii in total always. At least, in theory there is always 10,000, but in reality the number can range by up to 5% either way as new recruits are trained, or battle casualties are accounted for.
Description:
The Angelii are a curious mix of Holy Order, Imperial Knight and Priestess. Formed many centuries before during the early days of the Eldorai Matriarchy as a bodyguard for the Star Queen, the Angelii have retained a vital place in Eldorai society to this day.
The Queen who formed the Angelii is unknown, but it was definitely in place by Esterlea II (r. 1878-1714BBY) as she was sent off to them by her mother. Historical consensus places the creation in the hands of the very first Star Queen Tassaria I, who needed shocktroops to unite the Eldorai and defeat the Kar’zun.

Over time the Angelii moved from the informal retainers of the Star Queen to be the bodyguards, pre-eminent shock troops and prestige posting for all Eldorai. At times, especially during the Time of Troubles, their power became almost too strong when they crowned and dethroned Queens. The later dynasties until the present saw this and broke the power of the Angelii, distributing them in small groups so they could not use their combined strength to plot again.

The Angelii are entirely Force users, or as the Eldorai call them, Sciians. All Eldorai who exhibit Force sensitivity are taken for standardised training so they can control their abilities and/or be allocated to jobs which suit them. The best, the ones with the most powerful of abilities and the strongest, are sent to the Angelii. The catch is that all Angelii are female, another concession to the somewhat backward racial policies of the Eldorai.

After several years of gruelling physical training and mental conditioning the recruits are trained to use their abilities for battle. Primarily this means elemental abilities as they are the most common of the Eldorai Force skills. Those who fail either of these two steps are sent to the regular military or sent home. Those who pass eventually become Angelii.

The Angelii maintain a regulation strength of exactly 10,000, though as mentioned above the actual amount is more fluid depending on circumstance. These are broken down into four ‘Houses’, each with a name, distinctive colour and emblem and unit identity. Though this is of great use for building morale and a sense of unity, it can manifest in unfortunate ways as rivalry on the battlefield.

The leader of all the Angelii is the Grand Seraph, a position of enormous importance and trust. The current Grand Seraph is Aeda Shaytari, the (secret) cousin of the Star Queen. As the Grand Seraph commands and leads the Queen’s bodyguard she must have utter faith in her protector. Fortunately in this case the loyalty of Aeda to the Queen is unquestioned.

In battle the Angelii traditionally fought in a tight phalanx formation using the Taegis shield combined with Sarix, Sarzmigar and Staser. Once the enemy position is reached more open order fighting develops. Modern weapons have changed the armament but not necessarily the techniques of the Angelii.
Angelii fight in squads of 6, trained to fight in pairs. The concept of teamwork, unity and comradeship are of vital importance to the Angelii. In battle they typically form two ranks. The front rank uses their shields and melee weapons to protect themselves and their ‘sister’. The second rank uses her ranged weapons or Force abilities to strike the enemy. Either can take the front or rear rank, and during long battles they often switch. In more open battles or in rough terrain the Angelii fight in their pairs and squads and take down enemies together. Discipline, teamwork and courage are all valued; rashness, bravado and flash are not.

Each Angelii today is armed with a Cylix bolt pistol for close combat, a Sarix and wears the new Omicron armour. From there, armament is based on the mission, but usually one of each pair carried a Sarzmigar and Taegis whilst the other uses a Mk 2 boltgun with APE rounds. Sometimes the situation will demand that both carry a Taegis in which case they rely on their Cylix pistols or lighter blaster weapons. Sometimes the ‘sister’ of the squad’s Host Leader carries a heavier weapon like a missile launcher or heavy repeating blaster

Service in the Angelii is for 25 years, after which an Eldorai can elect to continue or return to normal life. Those who resign their commissions are eligible to emergency call-up though and undergo training each year to keep their abilities honed.

Recently a move to allow male Angelii has begun. So far it has been resisted by the more conservative Eldorai who fear that adding males would make the unit weaker and be a disruptive element. Some point to the common Eldorai belief that males are inherently weaker and more prone to emotions, whilst others point to the potential trouble of combined gender units. The debate is ongoing, though probably the Angelii will eventually join the rest of the galaxy, it is only the amount of feet-dragging required first.

One final group bears special examination; the elite bodyguards of the Queen known as the Sacred Band. This unit of 50 pairsare chosen by merit from the rest of the Angelii to be the personal guards of the Star Queen. Each of them are incredibly loyal and dedicated to their cause and the Queen, and receive incentives for good service.


Links:

Armour:
http://starwarsrp.net/topic/85302-sentinel-battle-armour/
http://starwarsrp.ne...-battle-shield/

Weapons:
http://starwarsrp.ne...ic/21177-sarix/
http://starwarsrp.ne...255-sarzmigar/#
http://starwarsrp.ne...-staser-pistol/(Obsolete)
http://starwarsrp.ne...-omega-boltgun/
http://starwarsrp.ne...ix-bolt-pistol/
http://starwarsrp.ne...gun-ammunition/
http://starwars.wiki...peating_blaster(modern equivalent)
http://starwars.wiki...issile_launcher(modern equivalent)

RPs:

http://starwarsrp.ne...ed/#entry629935
http://starwarsrp.ne...-hell-firemane/
http://starwarsrp.ne...f-tygara/page-1
http://starwarsrp.ne...inion-of-arkas/
http://starwarsrp.ne...ion-of-sullust/
http://starwarsrp.ne...na/#entry752319

(And many more smaller appearances)
 
Submission Name: Underground Facility on Mytus VII
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/57189-underground-facility-on-mytus-vii/
Reason for Modification: Change in affiliation; additional development thread; change in description
Modification:
Name: Underground Facility on Mytus VII

Image Source: http://th03.devianta...n3d-d3imam4.jpg

Intent: To add a location on Mytus VII

Classification: Hideout

Location: It is located beneath the surface of Mytus VII

Affiliation: The New Order (formerly); The Order of the Sith Lords (formerly); [member="Ajira Cardei"] (currently)


Development Thread:

Description: This underground facility was made out of permacrete, with durasteel supports. There was only one entrance that led down into the facilities passageway, which was blocked off by a durasteel blast door. The emblem to the New Order was found center to the blast door. The various halls and tunnels that connected the facility together stretched for miles in all directions; and were designed so that if the navigator did not know their way, then they could become lost. Artificial light hung from the ceiling, powered by a nearby generator. Currently, the generator has lost of power, leaving the facility in complete darkness.

The generator that powered the facility was an old I-a2b solar ionization reactor, taken off from an Imperial I-class Star Destroyer that was in service to the New Order, following Darth Vulcanus's movement. It could be found in a passageway north of the central room and was protected by a durasteel blast door. There was a key pad that could be used to open the room with a code, but mysteriously the pad has been broken, meaning an explosive or Lightsaber would be required to get inside. Explosives were the most dangerous of the too, as the resulting explosive could undo the durasteel supports that kept the Mytus VII surface from caving in.

If navigated successfully, you could discover a large hall in the center of the facility. Hanging above a throne, big enough for a Graug to sit in, hung the emblem of the New Order. Due to the size of the hall, it's passageway and design then it was possible to use the facility to hide an individual or item for an indefinite amount of time.

History: In 837 ABY, the Sith Empire collapsed after Dromund Kaas was sacked by the Mandalorians and the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Vornskr
http://starwarsrp.net/user/136-darth-vornskr/
http://starwarsrp.net/user/136-darth-vornskr/ was defeated at Ossus. Most of the Empire was scattered across the galaxy, ultimately culminating in the Battle of Coruscant later that year with the formation of the One Sith, but a Graug Sith Lord by the name of Darth Vulcanus sought to consolidate the remnants and brought them with him to Wild Space to begin anew.

He called the faction the New Order, a movement that would see Darth Vulcanus name himself the Dark Lord of the Sith and a campaign to restore the Sith back to strength. This underground facility on Mytus VII was built by Vulcanus to host the Sith Order whilst the New Order spread across Wild Space and the Outer Rim Territories. Eventually, the facility would be abandoned as the New Order movement failed, leaving nothing behind but it's emblem and a set of dark, empty passageways.

In 844 ABY, Darth Ayra returned to the facility to search for any traces of the Order of Sith Lords. Seeking to hide any traces of her having ever been present in the New Order, she encountered Jaron Lesan, a Dark Jedi that had fallen to the dark side of the Force following the destruction of Corellia. Their encounter would ultimately lead to the creation of Jaron's Lightsaber and confirmation of his new allegiance to the dark side of the Force. Later that same year, Serj Sularis- a Muun representative of the InterGalactic Banking Clan- met with Lady Shambleau, a representative of Ajira Cardei, who was interested in purchasing properties from Alicia Drey. On behalf of Alicia and Ajira respectively, Serj and Shambleau ironed out an agreement and price for the properties in question. After the deal was done, this property fell into the ownership of Ajira Cardei.

Links:
Submission Name: IAI Headquarters on Kalee
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/57184-iai-headquarters-on-kalee/
Reason for Modification: Change in affiliation; change in description; additional development thread
Modification:
Name: Imperial Arm Incorporated (IAI) Headquarters

Image Source: http://aww-uk.com/wp...50-1200x780.jpg

Intent: To host the offices, records and commerce of Imperial Arms Incorporated

Classification: Headquarters

Location: These headquarters were built on the Abesmi region near the Jenuwaa Sea.

Affiliation: Imperial Arms Incorporated (formerly); [member="Ajira Cardei"] (currently)

Development Thread:
Description: The Imperial Arm Incorporated HQ was built on Kalee, on a region known as Abesmi near the Jenuwaa Sea. It was built after the Imperial Remnant terraformed Kalee, so as to allow construction projects such as this to be done. The HQ finds itself on a foundation of permacrete and is made out of a combination of durasteel and transparisteel.

It has a hangar bay big enough for a Lambda-class T-4a shuttle to land and hosts a reception, several offices and work shops that are used for the development and oversight of technologies, schematics and designs used by Imperial Arms Incorporated.

History: The idea for a building, such as the IAI HQ, was conceived by the Imperial Remnant in their plans for the Kalee system. Wishing to turn the world in a place of commerce and development that suited their aims and objectives, a terraform operation was launched to allow this to happen.

A little over five centuries since the last of the Order of Sith Lords died, the Rule of Two was reconstituted by two Sith Lords. Ironically, it was one of their predecessors in Darth Sidious that began the ideals of the New Order that the Imperial Remnant followed. One of these Sith Lords, Darth Ayra, would make contact with the Imperial Remnant of the modern era to arrange a meeting. Seeking to gain influence, Darth Ayra wished to gain the backing of the Imperial Remnant for the Grand Plan that she had conceived with her Sith Master, Darth Pandeima.

Meeting with the Chiss Admiral Eobarda Tarkin on board the Apex, Alicia Drey delivered a proposal in which she and the Imperial Remnant would become partners through a joint business venture. Signing a contract on behalf of the Imperial Remnant, together Eobarda and Tarkin would found Imperial Arms Incorporated: a ship, weapons and munition developer/supplier that held an exclusive contract to supply the Imperial war machine with the technologies they needed to fulfill their long term aims and objectives.

As part of the agreements made in the estimations and expectations of the contract that was signed, the Imperial Remnant funded the construction of the Imperial Arms Incorporated Headquarters on the region of Abesmi, off the coast of the Jenuwaa Sea. Here, the technologies, schematics and designs that Imperial Arms Incorporated could be created.

In 844 ABY, on the planet Naboo, Serj Sularis- a Muun representative of the InterGalactic Banking Clan- met with Lady Shambleau, a representative of Ajira Cardei, who was interested in purchasing properties from Alicia Drey. On behalf of Alicia and Ajira respectively, Serj and Shambleau ironed out an agreement and price for the properties in question. After the deal was done, these headquarters fell into the ownership of Ajira Cardei.

Links:

Submission Name: Dubrillion Factories
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/51111-dubrillion-factories/?hl=dubrillion
Reason for Modification: Change in affiliation; additional development thread; change in description
Modification:
Name: Dubrillion Factories

Development Thread: [x], [x], [x], [x]

Image Source: [x]

Intent: To provide an in depth submission about the history of these buildings, during the many times Dubrillion has been annexed by multiple factions, the corporations that have come to own them and their status now.

Classification: Industrial plant

Location: These factories are found on the outskirts of Dubrillion, on the outskirts of it's capital city. There are five of these structures, surrounded by trees. Each structure has it's own concrete wall, with barb wire and gates, with a tower in the corner of each wall, shaped as a square.

Affiliation: Alicia Drey (formerly); [member="Ajira Cardei"] (currently)

Description: The Dubrillion Factories are cylinder in shape, with outer lying circles added into it's architecture for offices, storage space and employee areas, such as lunch halls, offices and meeting areas. Each factory has a designation. There are five of these buildings, each designated as A, B, C, D and E. There are thirty two floors, which can be accessed by lifts or stairs. Each floor has a designation, ranging from 1 to 32.

Each factory has been designed for the manufacture of military hardware and software. It was here that blaster pistols, rifle and carbines, to explosives such as thermal detonators and grenades, through to armors and up to military vehicles were manufactured for the Sith Empire, Confederacy of Independent Systems, Galactic Republic, Fel Empire and New Order, during the years in which the Dubrillion Factories were owned by Subach-Innes.

Capable of supplying governments with the necessary military items required during these times of war, the Dubrillion Factories have been in a state of abandonment from 837 to 844 ABY, when they were brought by Alicia Drey. Run down from years of weather, a state of disrepair from vandals and the detonation of proton torpedoes during the Primeval's dominion of Dubrillion, the Dubrillion Factories require refurbishment and repairs before it can begin supply of merchandise once more under it's new ownership.

History: At the end of the Four Hundred Year Darkness, a council of Sith Lords met together and formed the Sith Empire in 835 ABY. Seeking to expand their newly formed government, the Empire took over the world of Dubrillion. Darth Pandeima, otherwise known as Circe Savan, sought to bring her corporation, Subach-Innes, to the newly acquired world so as to provide military technologies for the Imperial war machine. The Dubrillion Factories, colloquially known at the time as the Subach Factories, were built to do this.

In 836 ABY, the newly formed Fel Empire joined the invading forces of the Galactic Republic and Mandalorian armadas and attacked the Sith Empire, successfully invading Durbrillion despite the efforts of Darth Ayra and the Sith Order. On their newly acquired world, the Fel's joined the Confederacy of Independent Systems (known now as the Abrion Systems Alliance) in a joint effort to purge Subach-Innes, it's properties, products and the influence of it's owner, Circe Savan, from their worlds. The Dubrillion Factories were attacked, alongside other properties belonging to the secretive Sith Lord, and were subsequently shut down by the Fel Empire.

With the successful completion of Operation: Weedkiller and the end of Subach-Innes on Dubrillion, the Dubrillion Factories remained inert for several months. During this time, the government of the Fel Empire and it's hold over Dubrillion fell apart. No longer a member world of the now defunct government, Dubrillion remained a neutral world for remainder of the year.

In 837 ABY, the New Order led by Darth Ayra invaded and annexed the former aligned Imperial Dubrillion, as she sought to reestablish the Sith Empire destroyed in the year previously. Under the domain of the New Order, Subach-Innes returned to Dubrillion and begun usage of the Dubrillion Factories once more to supply the reemerging Imperial war machine in the Outer Rim. After the Battle of Dromund Kaas, where the New Order was defeated by the Mandalorians, Dubrillion once more became a neutral aligned world.

In the same year, Subach-Innes was officially disbanded, thus abandoning the Dubrillion Factories for the second time in it's history.

Abandoned, the Dubrillion Factories would remain unused for eight years. In 844 ABY the Netherworld event occurred. With millions disappeared overnight, the Primeval emerged from the Unknown Regions to expand it's territory into the Outer Rim and annexed Dubrillion. During the Primeval's dominion, Darth Ayra returned under the alias of Alicia Drey, accessed each factory and covered up the incidents that involved the Dubrillion Factories.

Deleting historical records of Subach-Innes and the New Order found in the offices they once used, as well as destroying three Neutralizer II-class bombers she found, Alicia Drey brought the Dubrillion Factories, utilizing the crashing property market on Dubrillion, instigated by the mass hysteria and losses suffered during the Netherworld event.

In 844 ABY, on the planet Naboo, Serj Sularis- a Muun representative of the InterGalactic Banking Clan- met with Lady Shambleau, a representative of Ajira Cardei, who was interested in purchasing properties from Alicia Drey. On behalf of Alicia and Ajira respectively, Serj and Shambleau ironed out an agreement and price for the properties in question. After the deal was done, these factories fell into the ownership of Ajira Cardei.

Links:
 

Ashin Varanin

Professional Enabler
[member="Alicia Drey"]

Additional note for whoever does the modification: in regards to the Dubrillion factories, Ajira bartered them with [member="Draco Vereen"], who is the current owner.
 

Neivon

Spirit of the Shadow Guard
Submission Name: Indaggra (6-Eyes)
Link to Submission: http://starwarsrp.net/topic/85174-indaggra-aka-6-eyes/
Reason for Modification: Lacked an Image
Modification:
indaggra__six_eyes__by_nezorus-da1j45v.jpg
 
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